If you are a child of divorce was life better before or afterwards?

Question

I am a child of divorce, my mother and father split when I was in the sixth grade. While they were together there was a lot of stress in the house and some stuff not worth mentioning. But life has gotten better since the divorce. I can't remember any good things about my dad hardly but I remember every bad thing. So my question is, were you as the child of the divorce happy before and afterwards, what was the case in your situation. If you don't mind me asking.

Answer 1

My parents divorced when I was 6. While they were still together they used to argue and my mother would get slapped around.

My father was extremely wealthy, but somehow he managed to keep it all when they split up. He got the cash, the mansion, and all the cars; she got the kids, and a small amount of alimony & child support.

My mother was so depressed that she could not care for either herself or us. As a reslut of having no man in the house to protect us, I ended up being raped repeatedly by strangers over a period of about 7 years, and my mother ended up being murdered.

I would much rather have lived in a home where there was just arguing and a little slap here & there.

Thanks for the question. It is healing to talk about it.

Answer 2

Well my real dad walked out on me when I was a baby. So thats man number one letting me down. Man number two was in my life for 15 years. He was a great father to me. During the time my mom was seperating with him and we were still living with him was awful. You see the sides of people that you never knew exisited. I was scared and depressed most of the time. We stayed in the same house for about a month until my mother found us a new place. It was hard after leaving because as you said you remember the bad things. I couldn't get over the monster he bacame. Things are much better now. I have no relationship with him at all now, I don't speek to him or see him. However, I do force myself to remember the good times we had. I do not regret the time we had together, but at the same time I have learned to let him go. My mom is now working on man number 3, I no longer live at home, so everything is good now.

Answer 3

Honestly, I would give up anything I ever wanted just so that I could be as close to my child as possible. The most important thing is that your child is raised by BOTH parents. I can tell you right now that I would walk through fire just to make sure my children never had to do without me, because I know how traumatized they would be, feeling like I had abandoned them. They are the most important things in my life, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I have their best interests at heart, even if that means giving up something I really want. Overseas will still be there when your child grows up, but permanently damaging your child by not being around is very serious and something that can't be undone.

Answer 4

I loved my parents being together. They did not love eachother though. I had a hard time for many years and I still do sometimes. If not for thier divorce they may be in a really bad place right now. And who knows where I would be.They both seem somewhat happy now and that makes me happy.

Answer 5

Things have been getting better. My mom and dad used to argue a lot and they divorced when i turned 15. It wasn't much fun going back and forth, really. But i liked the attention i was getting and i did get a lot closer to my mom now. She did remarry and My dad is still the same, he still is violent and i still don't feel too comfortable around him. I went to counceling and i liked my therapy, it helped me deal with a lot of emotion and allowd my parents and sisters to understand each other :) We are now closer than ever

Answer 6

i wish i was a child of divorce growing up with my dad was vicious he was an alcoholic he finally died some years ago god forgive me but i wished it was sooner he was abusive as well and my mom didn't believe in divorce once he died things got better and we were able to get on with our lives it took his passing away for my mom to realize that but it was too late the damage was done to all of us. i guess you are better off now than before count your blessings.

Answer 7

My dad use to be physically violent so of course it was better when my mom left him. I do think it has been harder for my sister since she was younger then me. She has the classic symptoms of her dad leaving and looking for love in a man type of thing.

Answer 8

I've seen it go both ways. For me, it was better after my parents divorced (although I was older) b/c the tension between my parents was unbearable and it went on far too long..

Answer 9

my parnets devoriced when i was 8 i dont remeber much but what i do remember was my dad always gone partying and it sucked i never had a father figure in my life but now i do things get alot better my dad has really been there for me and its good but it get's better everyday it will get alot better trust me

Answer 10

I'll add to the others.......BETTER, BETTER, BETTER....
AFTER the divorce. He was terribly abusive. My dreams of death disappeared, when HE did. However, I wish my mother had been more of a mother.