I need help please?

Question

I'm a 15 year old boy and I think I’m in love. I’ve known her now for 11 years now, people tell me its infatuation but infatuation only last for like 6 months or something, but I’ve been feeling this way for 5-6 years now. at first I thought it was infatuation and it will just pass, so I thought to myself no I shouldn't tell this girl I’ll like her it'll pass, boy was I wrong. We finished primary school and I kept trying to forget about her, every time I thought about her my feelings for her grew. I haven't seen her since we finished primary school until year 9, I saw her at a talent show boy was I glad to see her but I didn't pull my self into telling her or talk to her, what a big mistake. Now I’m about to go to year 11 and I've got in touch with her through a close friend, I asked him to tell her that I like her and she said she can only like me as a friend, I said in my mind that that’s cool, but I want to tell her how I feel, I can’t live my life without telling her how I feel.

I wanted to tell her how I feel but I feel if I tell her it may make either me or her do the thing we don’t want to do witch is break up our friendship and I don’t want to do that, but I have to tell her how I feel. I know you guys may tell me to move on and I tell you guys now how is that possible when Love always stands its ground and holds out. It will outlast anything; it will even love in the face of unreturned love. Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses. So how am I meant to move on if I’m in love and its not infatuation because the infatuation phase of a relationship typically lasts about six months. You may think you are in love and she is perfect for you. It often takes more time to tell if you are truly compatible and whether you can really love the whole person, good and bad.

Me I know that she will not return these feelings I have for her back but, if I get to know her better then maybe she may return these feelings, but how am I when I never see her anymore, I can get in touch with her when I do, do I take her out for a drink or something but I have no money to do such a thing so what do I do. I’ve been crying over this for the past 4 years because its killing me inside I feel that I’ll loose my self in this journey, I can’t take it anymore I have to tell her someday its killing me inside the crying has to stop I’ve had enough. If she doesn’t still return these feelings then I feel I will have nothing to live for and she’s the only reason why I do carry on my life and no one can change my mind about her not even God. The question is should I tell her how I feel or not?

Now I think to myself has she changed, I haven’t seen her since I finished year 9, and she may be a completely different person now. I’m scared that she may become like most girls in this generation rude and disgusting. The generation we live in now girls sell their bodies as if it were made to be sold, girls advertise themselves, I’m starting to think that this girl that I love may become like all the rest of the girls in this generation, mixing with the wrong types of people, doing the wrong stuff.

In this generation you can’t have a relationship as perfect as it is in the films, you can’t have a relationship that lasts even more than a week, not when you’re my age no one’s committed enough to do them sort of stuff, no one stays in a relationship to realise that the person they are with is something special. People my age now all they do is just have sex with anyone that’s offering they don’t even care about the relationship part. I’m starting to think if this girl I love accepts me will she just leave after she's done with me, because me I’m an old school kind of guy, I’ve been watching too many films, I’ve always wanted to stay with the girl I love for the rest of my life but its not about that anymore

What happened to find the person of your dreams and stay with that person forever, it’s more like find a person have sex and then dump the person. I sometimes wish I was born years ago so I can actually develop a relationship, now I don’t think I can. Me I what I will happen if I tell her because me and this girl don’t know each other anymore, the last time we spoke I really enjoyed I felt happier then tan I’ve ever felt in my entire life, and I feel I will never feel that way again in my life is she isn’t in it.

I wish that I’d had the courage to tell her how I feel on that very day, I’m regretting not telling her now and what would have happened if I did tell her. I also forgot to mention that I’m a friend of her brother we all went to the same school, I don’t think that her brother would actually like me seeing her well I’m not sure anyways, I was thinking of speaking to her brother and let him know what's going on with me, or set things straight so that is she does accept me he wont be so annoyed of me seeing her.

I keep thinking that if I tell her everything would it actually make a difference towards her feelings to me because we don’t know each other anymore, I can only remember how she used to be, and that day I saw her last year she still felt the same, nothing in her has changed but in life there is always change and say that change happened throughout the year we haven’t seen each other. Me I know I have changed but the change I have changed into is a more kinder me, I care more about others, I think more about how others feel, but say that she has changed and whatever she has changed into is something that could never like me, something that could never care about me, that is what I am afraid of.

People keep telling me that she has changed, her attitude has changed, she cares more about her looks as in she wants boys to be more attracted to her, she wears different types of clothes now, well isn’t that what happens to girls that are teenagers almost everything about them change init. A friend of mine that went to the same primary school as me, people would never expect her to change into what she has become now, one of my friends told me she did something that only sluts do and it was on her birthday as well.

I know its her choice to change into what she wants, but why something like that, she was so smart in school and now I cant even think of what she’s doing now. I’m afraid that this is the thing that will happen to the girl I love, I’d been thinking about it for months but I know now that she could never do something like that, I don’t know why but I just know. That was one of the reasons I never told her, I was afraid that she has changed into something disgusting, I could’ve met with this girl but that boy I told you guys about the friend of hers, its like he disappeared I’ve been texting him to come online on msn but he hasn’t, I’ve texted him to check his mail its important, but it doesn’t seem like he has, I’m too afraid too call him in-case the girl I like told him something that will disappoint me. I know I should call him but I can’t face stuff like that it will destroy me and my hope for living. Like I said I wish I had the courage to finish this test, but I don’t think I can

Now I’ve been told the truth about what she’s been doing throughout the times I haven’t seen her, my friend just recently found out she’s going out with someone else and he didn’t know until now. When I first heard about it I felt like crying but I know that she’s being seeing others, it’s probably that I’ve been led on too much to think about her seeing someone. Its ok with me if she’s seeing others but I don’t know how long I can live for without telling her how I feel and I don’t want to be the person that breaks up a friendship, I cant forgive myself for doing such a thing. If what I am feeling about her is love then and she is happy with this other person then I should respect her choice and honour it, she is my friend and I should respect that but the question is how long can I live without out her knowing how I feel and when will the day come when I will be happy, because I think its time I felt an emotion like that in my life, don’t you think so too.

I’ve been researching a lot on this love emotion and I’ve found so many answers like Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. A person does not choose who they love, love chooses for them, this explains why I simply love a person who cannot and will not love me back and it confuses me a lot why love would do this to a person I don’t understand. I’ve tried to understand but if this is true I have to live the way I’m living now, if she is truly happy with this person then there’s nothing I can do is there.

All I can do now is hope, hope one day she would come my way and everything would be alright but that will never happen unless I tell her how I truly feel about her, but I cant know I have to wait she’s already in a relationship and me telling her would be too much for her to handle. So I guess I have to wait, wait like I’ve been waiting my whole life until the time is right.

Everyone keeps telling me to meet her but I don’t think that’s the right idea, because she’s already seeing someone besides I cant get in touch with her anymore cause I don’t know how to or what I will do when I do see. She’s with someone else and if I do tell her and she comes my way would that be the right thing to do, she breaking someone else’s heart to be in someone me is there a better way for me to do this, because like I said I cant live my life knowing the girl I love broke someone else’s heart to be in mine, I don’t know if I can forgive myself for that so I guess I have to wait until she’s out of a relationship but when will that be, the day I’m completely out of happiness the day I decide to do something terrible that will rid me from the face of the earth. If she is happy the way it is the I have to respect that no matter what.

If anyone out the can come up for an idea that would make me forget about her please tell me cause I’ve tried everything in my will to forget about her, I guess when it comes to love it isn’t you to decide if you fall out or in of love it decides for you. I really don’t know how much I can take of this I have a life to live but cant live it because I’m stuck in this mess that I cant move on from, like I said before if you have any ideas to help me forget please tell me

Answer 1

Write a very long novel,like the one you just wrote,and send her the manuscript,asking her op ion.Change the names to protect the Innocent

Answer 2

if she's said that she doesn't want you in a sexual sense then if you truly do love her then you will respect her for that. be her friend, be there her whenever she needs it and she will appreciate that and you will still at least be able to see her and talk to her. i think that you must accept that if you tell her how you feel then you will lose her friendship or her respect and then it will hurt more for you. be her friend. you never know, the feelings may develop as you get older. you will probably hate this, but you are still developing, mentally and physically and you will both change a lot in the next few years. you say you dont know if she may have turned into a "disgusting" person which suggests you dont know her as well as you used. get to know her again. meet up in a group and go to the cinema or something in a surrounding where its not so intense and there are other people for you both to talk to so neither of you can take it as a sort of date situation. go out with some other girls that you fancy, it doesnt have to be love, but you have to experience life don't expect them to be her just accept them for who they are. it will help to relax you when you are around her knowing that she is not ruling your emotions any more that you are (at least in your actions) moving on a little and you may find that your feelings grow less intense and you will be able to have a proper laugh with this girl instead of being so stressed around her. pining for her will not help her or you.

Answer 3

You are 15 years old and your hormones are raging. You are fanticising about someone that you knew for a long time but you go on and on about it being the right way to feel. However, why don't you get busy with your school work, graduate, go to college and make this girl take an interest in you for what you are doing with your life, not what you want to do to her. You are in the process of growing up, and maybe it is love, but it is too soon to tell.

Answer 4

She has already told you she only wants you as a friend why can't you accept that and move on?You can a donkey to the stream but you can't force it drink water.What makes you think she's your real love?What tribulation and trials have you passed?Do you pay bills or do you havea steady job?I think you should be more concerned in establishing yourself for now;love,relationship,sex,etc should be secondary for now.You've to learn how to walk perfectly before trying to run unless you want your legs to get broken.

Answer 5

if she's already told u she wants u as a friend then i would leave it there. id rather have her as a friend than nothing at all
some girls wen they've said lets just be friends im afraid thats wot we mean u dont wanna make her angry with u and her not wantin to be ur friend
stick to bein friends
even tho u been friends for a long time u have trust etc.. u end up getting with her then wen its finished that trust is no longer there and dependin on the way u finished u wouldnt be friends anymore
iv been there. and now there is no contact..its not worth it losin her as a friend.....sorry dont mean to burst ur bubble huni but wot will be will be..good luck tho

Answer 6

Try and just tell her how much you really care. that is all you can do and sit and wait. who knows what can happen. i mean she maybe come around let her think about it for abit. its something she probably didn't see coming.

Answer 7

well sounds like u know ur stuff just talk wit her on a walk and tell her how u feel tell her that u really like her and always have. and kiss her really fast and tell her u gotta go. if she calls u or talks to u about wut happened, then she feels sometin for u, if she doesn't then im srry i wasn't much of help.

Answer 8

it sounds like you are infatuated and it lasted this long cause you never had it. you are never going to get it and it sounds like she already knows how you feel. move on

Answer 9

boring mate Harry Potters book is shorter you will soon be an adult but keep questions shorter good luck

Answer 10

do not think about love at your age first make a good life for yourself and good luck