Are you usually right about judgement of character when you first meet someone?

Question

I'm hopeless. If people are nice, I'll immediately think that how they are. Then they'll end up being not like that at all. Then I'll think someones unfriendly or snooty when I first meet them and then up being really good friends with them.

Answer 1

Normally yes.

What I try to do though is not go by first impressions, if I think 'I like them' or 'I can't stand that person' or whatever, I always make myself have some time to get to know them because occasionally I am wrong.

Answer 2

Within the first three seconds of a new encounter, you are
evaluated even if it is just a glance. People appraise your
visual and behavioral appearance from head to toe. They observe
your demeanor, mannerisms, and body language and even assess your
grooming and accessories watch, handbag, briefcase. Within only
three seconds, you make an indelible impression. You may intrigue
some and disenchant others.

This first impression process occurs in every new situation.
Within the first few seconds, people pass judgment on you
looking for common surface clues. Once the first impression is
made, it is virtually irreversible.

The process works like this:

* If you appear to be of comparable business or social level, you
are considered suitable for further interaction.

* If you appear to be of higher business or social status, you
are admired and cultivated as a valuable contact.

* If you appear to be of lower business or social standing, you
are tolerated but kept at arm's length.

* If you are in an interview situation, you can either appear to
match the corporate culture or not, ultimately affecting the
outcome.

http://entrepreneurs.about.com/cs/marketing/a/uc051603a.htm

http://psych.utoronto.ca/~joordens/courses/PsyA01/Chapter15/sld005.htm

It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to
evaluate you when you meet for the first time. In this short
time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your
appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms,
and how you are dressed.

With every new encounter, you are evaluated and yet another
person’s impression of you is formed. These first impressions can
be nearly impossible to reverse or undo, making those first
encounters extremely important, for they set the tone for the all
the relationships that follows.

http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/FirstImpressions.htm

Researchers led by Dr. Gitte Lindgaard at Carleton University in
Ontario wanted to find out how fast people formed first
impressions. They tested users by flashing web pages for 500 msec
and 50 msec onto the screen, and had participants rate the pages
on various scales. The results at both time intervals were
consistent between participants, although the longer display
produced more consistent results. Yet, in as little as 50 ms,
participants formed judgments about images they glimpsed. The
"halo effect" of that emotional first impression carries over to
cognitive judgments of a web site's other characteristics
including usability and credibility.

http://www.websiteoptimization.com/speed/tweak/blink/

According to folklore and conventional wisdom, the first
impression you make upon meeting a person sets the tone for the
subsequent development of the relationship. A bad impression,
therefore, constitutes an irrecoverable error. That being the
case, you should always make it the highest priority to look your
best in any situation in which you might meet people, and women
in particular.

Irrational!! Shallow, superficial people judge others by "first
impressions". It is an indication of intellectual laziness of an
unwillingness and possible inability to reason deeply, analyze,
and make informed decisions. A woman who makes a snap judgment of
you based on a "first impression" is hardly worth bothering with.

http://personal.riverusers.com/~thegrendel/hmw2b.html

"Our two minds .... One is an act of the emotional mind, the other
of the rational mind. In a very real sense we have two minds, one
that thinks and one that feels" (Daniel Goleman, Emotional
Intelligence, Bloomsbury Publishing, London, 1996, page 8). This
rational mind is also called the faculty of logic and reason.

The Upanishads say that these two are opposite in nature. Modern
psychologist also have observed it, but they are not very sure
about it:

"At the same time, reason sometimes clearly seems to come into
conflict with some desires (even while not being in conflict with
others) giving us the impression that reason is separate from
emotion".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reason

The emotional mind is subconscious mind and the rational mind is
the conscious mind. The Upanishads call the emotional component
of mind as Chitta and the rational component of mind as Manas.
The nature of Manas changes gradually and minutely with every
perception and learning. Intuition is perception which is
received without apparent effort, quick and ready insight
seemingly independent of previous experiences or empirical
knowledge. First impression is formed by emotional mind
and last impression is finalised by rational mind.

It has been estimated that about 70% of men and 90% of women use
emotional mind most of the time. Using observations through
millenia, wise men of the yore generalized that first impression
is hard to change for most of the people. This wisdom was passed
on to folklore and esoteric texts.

Answer 3

I am very rarely wrong with first impressions. Although I have been a few times.

But I always stick with my gut instinct, until something about the particular person makes me change my mind.

I used to only ever give anybody only one second chance. I have been proved wrong in this theory just once.

Sometimes a first impression, is of someone who is nervous, and not really themselves. So you have to give some time, and allow that person show their true selves.

Answer 4

The short answer is no,having said that I can make a good accurate judgement in a short time after speaking to some one.

Answer 5

For the most part , I am really right about judging people. I can tell a decent respectful man or women and a cheater a mile away. Never have I been misjudged.

Answer 6

I think that I usually get a certain "vibe" off people, However it is in my nature to see the best in people...and I have been burned in the past, but have learned from those experiences... but trust your gut... it's there to push thru your stubborness and to actually "see" the person for what they are!

Answer 7

i always go by my intuition, and its usually the first impression i get when i meet someone turns out to be right.think this just comes with age and experience though,and the fact that you learn to spot the bullshitters a mile off!

Answer 8

Sometimes I have a strong sense about someone other times I just wait until the relationship has grown stronger. It really varies for me.

Answer 9

As you get older, you make better and better first judgements. My first impression is usually right, but it wasnt also so.

Answer 10

It takes time to know a person.

As you're discovering, people can fake attributes they don't have.

Now that you know this, you realize that making snap judgments doesn't work well.

A person is a complicated thing; you can't know them instantly.