Her husband admitted to me that he cheated at least twice, he told me he will change but his wife is my best friend and I dont like keeping the secret from her. Plus they have a child and family business that would go under if they got divorced. Is it my place to tell?
2007-07-22 07:34:14 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO. Leave it alone. She will hate you. Id ask her husband though why he told you. He has put you in an awkward position. If you tell she will hate you. If you dont tell and she finds out you knew she will hate you.
If it was me I would distance myself from both of them and when she asks you why tell her to ask her husband why. But say no more.
2007-07-22 07:41:24 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
This is a bad situation all the way around. The main question is do you believe him when he says that he will change? Would she want to know? Some women are content with not knowing and if you tell her, it could backfire in your face. If you don't tell her, it could end a close friendship between you and her. You know her better than anyone else. Weigh it out and then decide what is best. I know I would want to know but that's me. No one can answer this but you and I think you already know what you should do. Good luck with your decision. One other thing - I wouldn't tell her. Blackmail him into it. It's his problem. He may want to her to know but don't have the backbone and is telling you cause he figures you will. If she's to be told, let him be the barer of the bad news, not you!!!
2007-07-22 07:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It a bad spot to be in but you have to consider the fact that telling your friend would cause her a lot of heartache and also put yourself in the middle of the drama. It is really not your place to tell; it's the husbands job. Besides he did admit to it and he says he wants to change so he might do just that. i think I would let it go and if it makes you feel better tell him that if it happens again you will go to your friend with the truth. This way he will know ahead of time what you will do so he can't be mad at you if you go through it.
2007-07-22 07:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by sdiego27 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
On one hand, it's really none of your business. He confided in you because he didn't expect you to say anything. On the other hand, she is your best friend, so I understand you may have some torn felings about this. But do you really want to be the bearer of bad news & risk the chance of her resenting you for telling it? You never know, she might know what's up & just chooses to ignore it for the sake of the family & the business. But, I always go by this: If I didn't see it happen or have some rock hard evidence that it happened, then keep my mouth shut. Eventually, if you give him enough rope, he'll hang himself. Everything comes to light sooner or later. Besides, maybe he regrets doing this to her & keeps it from her to protect her. And he might also play the dumb role & deny ever saying anything to you, which, may lead her to being mad at you. Think about all the potential consequences of this before you do anything. Good Luck!
2007-07-22 07:43:16 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Chris 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This guy will cheat forever, as long as he can get away with it.
He most likely told you "he will change" so you won't run & tell her. But he will not, he will just not be telling you anymore that he is cheating.
The wife & child do not need the chaos & instability of his dirty secrets.
Your bestfriend would expect you to tell her this is happening. She would be very upset if she found out you knew & never told her.
2007-07-22 07:44:51 · answer #5 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her. Adultery should not be kept in confidence by anyone because it is itself both dishonest and not just betrayal, but the betrayal of the one person who is supposed to be able to trust you the most. It should be your friend's decision whether or not to stay with a cheating husband. It's not your place to make that choice for her by keeping this a secret.
2007-07-22 08:17:44 · answer #6 · answered by Leah 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I question his motive for telling YOU in the first place. Perhaps he wants you to tell her.
The main issue here is that he's a cheater and a liar. The BIGGER issue is that he disclosed his dirty secrets to you. I can't get over this!
She probably already knows what a dirt-bag he is. There is no way that she hasn't seen the signs.
Don't say anything to her....also, don't ever, ever let him begin to tell you anything even remotely personal again. Cut him off immediately if you detect his eagerness to share private information with you.
This will all come out on it's own, she already knows how he is, trust me.
2007-07-22 07:42:45 · answer #7 · answered by weebleswobble 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is your place to tell you are her best-friend and she needs to know what her husband is doing to her!!!
Look at it like this. He says that he is gonna change right? I think not. You yourself said that he admitted he has done this to her twice before. And chances are he is gonna do this again if you keep this from her. He will think that he is safe around you. In a way you are being more of a friend to him then you are her right now.
Say you keep this from her and 1 year down the road he does this again but only this time around she finds out about it from someone else. And while they are arguing he throws in about the other women and then proceeds to tell her that you knew about this but kept quite.
He'll say what kind of friend is she to you anyway? Then she will get angry at you and you have ruined your friendship!! How much does she mean to you???
I mean my best-friend in the world means everything to me and I have never lied to her once in my life! I would die before I would let some man make a fool of her time and time again.
Yes they may have a child but what happens if they have more? Male or female? Think of the problems that this could cause.
A male as he grows up he will think that it is okay to do his wife this way becasue his dad did. And a female well she will pick the wrong kind of man to marry and he will do this crap to her over and over again and she will think that it is okay because dad did this to mom.
There business may fall apart but then again it may survive. Think of the heartache and sorrow that will happen later on if he continues this behavior.
It is smart to let her know now. So that she can figure out just what it is that she wants. She will survive and later she will thank you for helping her get out of bad situation.
No doubt that it is going to be ruff on her at first but she will recover and you be there for her. You can help her throught this.
Take her out and tell her about her husband. Tell her you know that I would never do anything in the world to hurt you but I feel that I should tell you what I know. You may get angry at me for telling you this but I can't sit around anylonger and let him make a fool of you. I love you you are my friend and I would rather die than to tell you what I am about to say. Then tell her. Tell her everything!!
She is gonna need you. So be strong and be patience because she may become angry with you at first. But I promise you she will get over it and this will make you closer then you are now. Just stand firm and go with her when she confronts him. Make him tell her the truth!!!
I wish you the best of luck! I hope you make the right choice here and tell her.
2007-07-22 08:01:19 · answer #8 · answered by rockn75 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is your friend then you owe it to her to tell her. Reverse the question on yourself. Would you want her to tell you if your husband or boyfriend was cheating on you? If she did not tell you and you found out that she knew and did not tell you would you be upset with her? Answer that question and you will have that answer.
2007-07-22 07:42:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not if you want to keep her as a friend. It isn't your place to tell her right now. I'm sure like most of women she has some idea if not know that he does. Just be there for her when it comes tumbling down.
2007-07-22 08:08:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would he tell you this? He knows you are the best friend. Sounds like he wants you to be the one to tell her, since that what best friends do.
It's really his place to tell. You need to let him know that either he talk s to her or you will. If he is not going to do that, I think you owe it to her to let her know. How will she feel, if he does tell her and lets her know he told you? She needs support and good friends.
2007-07-22 07:42:46 · answer #11 · answered by burbam2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋