There has been a lot of question about chores (by me) what I would further like to know?

Question

do you ladies on here really believe that taking care of the daily chores is harder and more work than him working a full time job to pay all of the bills, so that a 50 50 split of the duties is only achieved if he takes care of all of the bills and does a substantial part of the chores (at least 30% better 50) as well ?
Note: Please do not mention children. At no point did I say beeing a full time worker should you extempt from spending time with the children.

Rainbow I dont think I want to get help with accepting the demands of todays western women. There are plenty of women in the world who would gladly do the houseworks using today modern tools without a single complaint.

Lisa since I never had a butler I dont need no talking because I know how long chores take.

Thanks for your advice. Right now the cheapest solution for me is not getting married and staying that way untill I hit 30 and get myself a wife who knows how to treat a man and whose mother did not kick hubby to the curb.

Thanks for your advice. Right now the cheapest solution for me is not getting married and staying that way untill I hit 30 and get myself a wife who knows how to treat a man and whose mother did not kick hubby to the curb.

Lisa thanks for the advise. At first glance marrying a woman with a high paying job so I stay home sounds like a good idea. The problem is that divorce laws do not protect men. If she should decide to next me I STILL loose the house besides having been a stay at home dead and would end up having to move back with my mom since after so much time at home all I would get is a McJob and even less will be left after paying child support.
So thanks but no thanks ^.^.
The best solution would be to marry a traditional wife from Thailand or eastern Europe who knows how to make a marriage work.

I mean dad

Bluestareyed do you vacuum every singel room clean the bath wipe the floors clean the windows on a daily basis ? No ? Thought so.
What are you trying to say anyway ? If he works construction she can do the work while he is gone, as soon as he moves up, there is magically work left waiting for him at home ?

Answer 1

This really depends on a lot of factors. The number of kids, their ages, any special conditions they have, and the level of involvement in their schools can affect how much time the "daily chores" take. Also, what kind of house and what appliances you have can make a big difference in how hard the cleaning is.

Also, some jobs are harder than others. The average office worker does not spend all the working hours of the day actually working. I have spent time taking care of small children (no cleaning/errands/bill-paying) and working in an office, and I can tell you hands down that taking care of the kids was a lot more work per hour.

If you are concerned that your wife is taking advantage of you, maybe you should ask her what fraction of the time that you are away from the house she is "working." Talk about how much time the daily chores take for her. Do you know what her typical day is like?

If sounds like you do not feel appreciated for the work that you are doing, but she may not feel appreciated for the work that she is doing either. If she feels that she is working the entire time that you are away at your own job, and then has to continue working, while you relax because your job is over, she will probably become resentful. She also may feel overwhelmed and frustrated. If, on the other hand, she is getting a lot more time off during the day than you are, talking about her typical day may help her to see that.

Since you don't feel appreciated for what you contribute, it may be very hard for you to listen without cutting in with how much harder your day is. But maybe if you try, then the lines of communication will open up some more and you can both appreciate what the other does.

Also, you may consider which of the following options will be cheaper for you: separation and divorce, marriage counseling, or a cleaner to help around the house.

EDIT: It seems like I misunderstood your question. I was under the impression that you were already married to a stay at home mom. Of course, if there are no kids or elders to care for, it is much easier to stay at home, as long as you don't make other "jobs" for yourself through volunteer work int eh community. That said, children change everything, and depending on the child, can make the day a lot more demanding that your run of the mill office worker's. I think you will find that taking care of an entire family is leaps and bounds more tiring than taking care of just yourself.

Also, one of the purposes of talking about these things is to get rid of your preconceptions about how long you thing something should take, and learn the reality of how long it takes your partner to complete the task. Saying that you already know what your partner is experiencing without taking the trouble to ask is a huge red flag for the relationship, and probably a sign that you may want to get counseling.

If you are sincere, and not just trying to stir up trouble here, I hope that you can find someone who will be able to create a good life with you. Looking back at your posts, you seem to be very troubled by the different conflicts that can arise during marriage. You may want to consider marrying a woman with a good paying job so that you can stay home, or so that you can afford someone else to clean the home. Your views seem very strong on this, and it may cause a lot of problems in any future relationships you may have.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

it depends on his job and what you define as housework. if hes sitting at a desk at a computer all day and shes running around, doing errands cleaning the entire house , doing laundry, and dishes plus making, serving and cleaning up after meals, then yes, she is doing more physical labor than he is. if hes in construction as a carpenter, then things are a bit different.

also, about your last edit, in a divorce, if your wife has a high paying job and you are unemployed and you seek alimony, you will get it. it happens. it just doesn't happen often because there aren't many relationships like that that end in divorce.

edit: all I'm saying is, if hes sitting at a desk all day and shes doing housework, then she is physically doing more labor than he is. If he is doing a job that requires physical labor than the scales either balance out or tip the other way. I'm not saying he should be forced to do housework when he gets home, that is a personal agreement between the members of the relationship. I'm just pointing out that in terms of energy expended, yes, chores can be more work than a nine to five job. and yes, some people do vacuum every room every day, and wipe down the bathroom, some people don't, and even so, dishes and laundry are a daily task as is running errands, yard work, different aspects of home repair. some of these basic chores, depending on the cleanliness of the other members of the household can take most of the day.

in the end, i'm saying that i think you are capable of having an intellectual discussion without throwing around assumptions, insults and putting words in other peoples mouths. most of what i have told you is basic logic and knowledge. i would rather have a discussion with you, there is no need for throwing around assumptions about each other.

and just so you know, no I don't do those chores, because I have two jobs to pay the bills and classes. my boyfriend does them because he has the time and is better at them anyway. you wanna know what else? I spoil him for it. I come home from work and give him a back rub because I know that cleaning up after me is harder work than my sales job. I also have certain chores that are mine even on top of all of that. What is the division of labor in your house?

Answer 3

I work full time and still do most of the house work. We don't have children. In the US, there are not that many stay at home mom's left. It's too expensive to live here.

Answer 4

daggone american womerns,, always in a hizzy bout something er nother, i want a diamond, i want a new car, i need to go to the docter ta get me a script fer my nerves is shot,,, that's why i date black women you don't see them on valium,, coarse i have been getting pulled over by the cops more often since i've started dating them,, that's it i'm goin to the phillipines i bet asian womerns don't even start with all the bull mess,,

Answer 5

Cassius, Cassius, tsk, tsk, tsk...

Get help. Soon.