My husband of a year just found out that he may have a three year old daughter from a past relationship. I am trying to be as supportive as I can, but I just feel different about him now. I can't expain why, but I feel cut off from him in some way. I am trying to keep it from him that I feel this way, because I know he really needs support, as he is shocked to find out about this child as much as I am. (the mother thought the child was fathered by someone else, and just found out he is not the bio father.) Also, I get the feeling he is excited about the idea of this child being his, but he won't tell me that. I wouldn't be mad, I just think he is trying to spare my feelings. Is there a way to get over the jealousy, insecure, what ever feeling I have in this situation? I know a soon as we have visitation of this child I will love her just like my own, I just don't know how to feel right now. Has anyone been in this situation? Any feed back would be appreciated. Thank you!
2007-07-22 04:31:18 · 4 answers · asked by Natalie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Here is the solution, really the solution to almost all relationship problem; talk to him about what you are feeling. Just like you laid it out above. Of course he is excited about it, he has been part of bringing a daughter into the world. You should be glad he feels excited because that means he will be excited about your children too and not someone who will turn his back on them as some men do. Most likely you feel alienated because he has shared something with another woman you wanted to have with him yourself.
Tell him how you feel, it won't make you any less supportive and in fact will probably bring you closer toghether because the more you are honest with each other the better your relationship will be. Good luck
2007-07-22 04:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by Wiz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all of your feelings are understandable. I mean, a child is a really big deal and this will be life changing. However, they should definitely do a paternity test before anyone gets too excited. I think you should be honest with your husband and tell him how you feel. This affects both of you the same and your feelings matter too.
2007-07-22 04:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by Sara M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband is probably excited to her that the child is his. most men want to have children. if he was with the mother before he met you then that is the past so you cant really get angry at him for that because everyone has a past. supporting him will be the best thing to do especially if this is his first child. marriage is all about support in times of stress. good luck!
2007-07-22 04:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by bilkmilk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your over reacting. Just remember that the child is from before you and your husband were together. It's normal to feel threaten by an addition to any relationship. Look forward to the blessing having a child around can offer you.
2007-07-22 04:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋