is it really the best idea to "marry your best friend"?

Question

i've been dating my current boyfriend for a while now... we live together and talk very seriously about marriage. unfortunately, while i did at one point, i no longer feel sexually attracted to him - at this point he is strictly my best friend. we get along wonderfully, laugh together constantly, and would do anything for one another. the problem is, i feel like a sexual relationship is a really important one in any partnership... and how can i possibly marry someone i have no desire to have sex with? most of my friends say that this is a huge problem and i should break up with him before it gets too too serious.

i feel like this also might be my own problem, always searching for the next best thing, the "greener grass"... from what i've explained, what do you guys think?

Answer 1

You have already answered your own question. You said he is "strictly your best friend". If he is, you would be talking to him about this, not to yahoo. This is not a problem of "greener grass", relationships change. It takes courage and really liking the other person to talk about how it has changed. I had a best friend in college who I later entered into a sexual relationship with. This was very nice but the sexual attraction faded between us, by acknowledging this, and the fact that it did not change the fact that we still really liked each other, we are still very good friends; 30 years later.

So, the short answer is "NO". Not because he is your best friend, but because of the lack of sexual attraction. Good Luck and talk about it.

Answer 2

I married my best friend. I think it's ideal! My husband and I met freshman year in college. Friend of a friend kinda thing. We were in the same peer group. We shared a lot of the same interests. We watched each other go through ups and downs. We helped mend each others broken hearts. We really had the time to get to know all about each other. From a wonderful friendship, built on respect and honesty and caring, birthed a love. It was slow. We didn't have our first "date" until almost 5 years later. We are happily married with 2 children. I am glad that we had the opportunity to know each other as friends before we knew each other as bf/gf. He knows the real me. I know the real him. It's based on so much more than physical attraction. It's deep. And with God's continued blessings, we will have a lifetime to get to know each all the more.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Yes to all of that. you made the mistake of moving in before getting married. You are now bored and there is no committment to hold you together through this phase. it is best to marry your "best friend" as in you mate should become your best friend. Sex is not gonna remain a big thrill going forward it does get old and so do you but if your mate is also your friend you can enjoy allt he other aspects of it and still have sex if that works out but sex becomes less important because that's the way life goes. Now if you are willing to toss all the rest of the good stuff you got going for a better lay, I can't tell you what to do but I would take a good time to think it over. Have you tried to revive your love life. Boyfriend got any clue to how you are feeling. If you really do not want to have sex with him at all for good, then do not marry him. that will not work either.