What do I do now? I did rehabs, I changed friends, jobs, even countries...?

Question

et, I am 37 and still battling with my old demon. You couldn't tell if you see me. People think I've got it together. I have a very high paying job, I dress well, I smile,.... But between you and I, I am a mess inside. And somewhere I know, the stuff is killing me, controlling every little aspect of my life. Why can't I just quit? Believe me if I tell you I tried many times. Lately, I am thinking to even give up completely. Do you have any suggestions? Did this happen to you or someone you know? Rehabs and everything else did not change a thing. If I am posting this today is to get maybe new ideas. So, I beg you, skip this question if it is to critic, ridicule, preach, or tell me what I already know. It will only show the rest of us how unoriginal you are. For those, who may have some new suggestions and ideas, I thank you very much.

PS. I forgot to mention that I also went in therapy with various mental health advisors and psychologists. I even tried EMDR for a while...

Does living in the street count as hitting the bottom?

I would like to say that I don't particularly appreciate people giving thumbs down to some of these answers. All of you who are trying to help I thank you and would never give a thumb down. There is no right or wrong answer here.

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you.

I volunteer at a Drug Rehab and we are founded on biblical principles with one of our quotes being,"The only lasting solution to drug addiction is Jesus Christ." We have an 82% recovery rate - God is stronger than addiction.

My friend's son became a Christian and also used accupuncture for the physical cravings. He said it really helped.

Answer 2

There are better/different programs out there, and it takes trial and error. A friend of mine went through the same thing, moved, rehab, different field of work, totally different lifestyle. What helped her was a LONGER stay in rehab, then a halfway house situation where she was able to work but still had to do therapy and take her meds. You need tools to manage your cravings and learn new behaviors to replace the old ones, and I don't think you have those yet. As with any addiction, it will be something you deal with on a daily basis for the rest of your life. All you can do is try to stay sober today, and see if you can enter treatment again - a different program.

Answer 3

I'm not totally sure what the issue is here. I'm assuming that you are dealing with an addiction to drugs or alcohol? From the way you are talking, you sound as if you truly want to get away from whatever addiction you have. It also seems that if you have done everything you can to escape it and and still can't. Having said that, I know you said you went to rehab and they do a bit a therapy there about why it is that you do what you do, but have you ever considered seeking the help of a psychologist? For some people, there is a deeper reason why they turn to substance abuse than just the physical addiction. Some people are trying to escape from their past or cope with depression or anxiety issues. Without knowing more about you, I can't say if any of these apply (and you might not even be able to tell yourself).
My best advice:
Find yourself a psychologist who you feel comfortable with and open up to them. Drop the fake smile and tell them what's going on with you. Tell him/her everything. What your demons are, what you've done with your life to try to deal with the problems (moving, rehab, etc.) They will probably ask you tons of questions and you need to be honest. If you want to get over this, you need to find what the problem is so you can begin to heal it. Once the psychologist has figured out what is going on, they can help you to develop and plan for recovery. Depending on what they find, this may include therapy sessions to further work through any issues, medications to help treat any illnesses, or referals to other doctors or medical professionals for further evaluation or treatment.
If you want to get better, you need to not be afraid of what the doctors might say is wrong with you. Just face the truth so you can get better.

Answer 4

I don't know if this will help but...have you tried keeping a journal? This may help you understand what draws you to the substance to begin with, nothing will help you until you are truly ready to help yourself...I think you know that already.
You've made the right steps by getting away but have you truly changed the way you live your life?
Something is going to have to replace the "habit"...maybe a new challenge or activity.
Are you generally happy with your life circumstances (with or without the substance) or are you turning to the substance because you're running from something else that only you know?

I hope this has helped in some way...best wishes on your journey to recovery, it certainly won't be easy (no matter which path you take).

Answer 5

The world has an abundance of functioning addicts.

Everything in moderation.

Do your best to regulate your consumption and live w/ the addiction. Plenty of ppl are addicted to LEGAL things and live their lives accordingly. Just because the gov has labeled something ILLEGAL is no reason to stigmatize yourself. The only reason it's illegal is the gov wastes our tax dollars trying unsuccessfully to prevent the importation, so no cost that way since it's part of the budget. And the justice/law enforcement depts. rake in millions of dollars a yr at the expense of that countrys hapless citizens.

I laugh everytime the gov stands all proud w/ some giant cache of illegal drugs it confiscated, yet 999.9 pct. of the users don't miss a beat next time they reup. The reality is, the gov is or should be far more concerned about what would occur if they were, by some miracle, able to suddenly rid the streets of substance. Imagine the effects of entire cities saturated w/ jonesers. There would be mass havoc.

Gov is also quick show us crimes commited by ABUSERS, who were under the influence. What they don't tell you is, often times, that person hadn't slept for 3 or more days. Try staying awake for that long and see how rational you think.
The crime was commited directly because of lack of sleep, indirectly because abuse of the substance kept them awake.

Other than being a slave to your substance, it's no big deal to being a user, as long as you can function.

Keep in mind, this advice f/ me to you is contingent upon you having expired ALL avenues that could rid you of your addiction ... it's no fun being a slave.

Answer 6

Well, my friend, a bit older than you, he had been where you are, even worse off. He tried everything, rehabs, AA etc. Lost jobs, divorce, foreclosure on and on.

Finally he said he just broke down and prayed to God. Thjat was over two years ago and he's been sober since, has a great new job, home and is dating again. It worked for him.

Answer 7

I was where you are for a long time. I have been free for fifteen years. I did not go to rehab---I would have lost my job and my insurance would not pay---"-self inflicted condition." You can't just quit because you have the disease of addiction. I had to get disgusted and scared of what my life had become to truly want something different.. It's hard to "talk" through this forum. Find people who have been where you are and have been successful at staying clean for some time and listen to what they did.

Answer 8

Suck doesn't it? Me too. Currently I am winning the battle. It almost always seem to come from a deeper problem, one we can't put our finger on. Of course we all have our past demons to deal with, and damn it, it just makes us feel soo good, and normal and happy., and it is so easy to do rather than not to do. One day at a time is a bunch of crap, try one temptation at a time. Of course I say this because I am currently in a money jam, I too have a great job, I am also sorry to say a very beautiful woman, which makes it even harder,, men love to make me feel better. Try to figure out if you really want to live to tomorrow, seems like a stupid way to look at it, but sometimes, almost always we seem to not really care about the future, only the now, and feeling good. Good luck. Their will always be some opportunist looking to take our money, that's how dealers and shady Doctors make money. I like my money, and right now I am battling to hold on to it, actually maybe my love of my own money may save me. Good luck.

Answer 9

i feel your pain....... i will pray for you.
only God can help you....... you know 12 steps never give up! never!
There are some supplements that will help with cravings. one is L- Glutamine......... try a long term christian facility
I have a cousin whom i love like my sister.I will never turn lose of her. I wont quit fighting for her till they throw the dirt over me.
Dont you either.............
You know that song Jesus take the wheel. that is the best solution.......... you are special and a fighter . I wish i could make it go away. i cant , but my heart and prayers are with you. never, ever, quit fighting.! God bless!
sounds like you have a lot of heart and love.
Do you have other issues that are not resolved.
any unfogiveness,abuse,abanadment?
it is spirit,physical,emotional also......... examine what are triggers..
I sense a lot of deep pain? get your heart healed..
Call dr. phil . no joke........ call Billy Grahamn.............
There is a reason you are not dead and God is not thru with you! he has a plan for your life. for good and not for evil.
to bless you , to prosper you.
There is a reason you are still alive, still fighting, still searching, you will win this battle. you are a victor and not a victim!
a dear friend of mine was a highly decorated vietnam vet a drug addict and alcholic............. he became a christian. i was there the night he laid at the feet of Jesus. he sought God with his whole heart.
He took a year off. spent it a christian retreat and he won finally. he helped others for many years......... he died last year in his sleep peacefully ....... He was a friend and a hero.
His name was blue Reynolds......God bless.
I dont know if i helped but i do care very much
God bless

Answer 10

I don't know what to say to make you feel better.. but I really would like to help you.
I had a problem like that of yours... but obviously... my situation is nothiing compared to yours. But I'll tell you what I think anyway. lol
I used to smoke (cigarettes..) Mom found out and she got mad at me. She gave me a second chance to quit.. I couldn't
I've been smoking for like 3years,.. and it wasn't easy.
But now, I don't smoke anymore.
In my case, the rehab of yours is my mom telling me to quit.
You do rehab not because you want to... you're doing a rehab to make you quit the thing you don't want to quit.(which means you don't want to)
Maybe you have to reverse everything like I did.
I'm in a band,... I'm not the vocalist, but I do back chorus.. I love to sing and play the guitar. That's why I quit smoking. I don't want to damage my singing voice...
Maybe you should find something that will make you quit! Like an inspiration. A partner in life.. or imagine what your life will turn out if you keep doing it.
I hope my advice would help!
Good luck!

Answer 11

no it is not easy it is one day at a time just think about this
day not yesterday not tomarrow just today one hour at a time
if you slip don't be hard on your selff start agin don't give up
get your selff ito a group of recovering addaction they can
give you support you will be suprized at how much easer
it becomes when you can share with some one going through the same thing you need a buddy sistem go to AA if it is
not an acchol problem that is ok it workes on all addiction