i am not satisfied sexually by my husband?

Question

ok here's th deal. i hate sucking his Di*k but i still do cuz that's what u do to make the other person happy. he never actually tried to please me down there. i mean even though a man doesnt like going down shouldn't he to make his wife happy. i do it for him. i make him think i want to do it.he got caught watching pon when i was always unhappy in sex. idon't make myself happy by looking at other men performing oral sex on women.last nite i asked him and he said i will do it tonite. its liek i am forcing him to. so i said never mind i know u don't want to. it kills my pleasure that i want from it.he likes me sucking his D**K and ******* me. but thats all he likes. talking won't get us anywhere. he noes already i want it. waht shuld i do.i satisfied his needs much more than he does mine. and still looking at other women. its a big deal in our relationship that one person gets caught with porn.(don't post commments about porn not bing a big deal). so what do i do?

Answer 1

Well. start by cutting off his sucking until you start to get something in return, if he still is not interested after that i would resort to adding some toys into the bedroom, and if he wants to know why you are using toys a very simple answer to that is, you have to get your orgasm's somehow, if still no luck cut sex out until he works it out!! Good Luck

Answer 2

Well, this doesn't sound like it will be a problem, but start by being totally off limits once your cycle starts. Say, "I started.'

When you are done, douche. If you are uncomfortable with douching once a month check with your gyn before starting. Say, "I finished my cycle and I douched."

Only ever fool around when you are just out of the shower. Him too. Good hygiene is very romantic.

Go to Tantric Sex and Kama Sutra sites together. Go to Sex Instruction 101 and ask questions. Together. It's fun.

I'm gonna get honest, here: Sex is a gift. It is the closest bond between a man and a woman. We like to wrap it up with all the rules and regs and end up tossing it out because it's just too hard to play with.

Sex is not supposed to cause such distress in relationships. People with healthy libidos look at other people. If they have some maturity and can make a decent decision then they know that looking or no, they are committed in a relationship.


Talk to your man about only doing what really turns each of you on.

I love the feel of the male anatomy in my hands. Learn to really enjoy his form and function. Stroke him and take the time and care to observe how his tool reacts. Then if you want to do oral things to his gleaming, freshly washed part, it's more of a pleasure for you. And Vice Versa for him. He can watch for when you physically react to his touch, and how a woman's body performs. Then he may desire to plant a soft kiss here or there.

Take baby steps. Toss anything negative you've learned about sex. You're married. This is your gift. Sex is bonding and has wonderful health benefits. Set aside the time to explore with each other.

And don't get pregnant now.

Get this down first. Then add stressors.

Answer 3

Something I've found works in my marriage is pre-foreplay. Men cannot *** so quickly if they've just had an orgasm, so... We've found that if we masturbate (in a sexy, not so awkward way lol) before the foreplay starts, we both end up more satisfied. Talk to your husband, say things like "honey, I'm worried that something is lacking in our bedroom, maybe we could try doing something different tonight?" Or, "honey, is there anything I can do for you that will make our sex life even better?" NEVER point fingers and say "you aren't satisfying me anymore" because that just makes him feel weak as a man. Maybe send the baby to grandma's house for a night, and make that night all about sexual exploration? Role playing? Sexual games? be adventurous, for out of that you will find true pleasure!

Answer 4

If your marriage i something you value I would disregard all comments about withholding sex from your husband. That will just create more tension in the bedroom (something I'm guessing you already have enough of). Sex should never be used (or withheld) as punishment. How about you start by finding the reasoning behind him not wanting to? Maybe that'll give you a little insight as to what he's feeling and why. I know you feel as if your doing this for him even though you don't like it so why can't he do it for you right?!? Well, the difference is that he thinks you like it. You each need to sit down and discuss what your sex life is lacking, but timing and tone is crucial. You don't want to nag and you def finitely don't want to turn sex into a chore. However if he's not willing to compromise and sacrifice for your pleasure I don't see why you should feel obligated to continue going down on him if it's something you "hate doing". And hey, a lil counseling couldn't hurt. Good Luck
Tim

Answer 5

Okay here's what i feel, maybe you should stop trying to please him too much and look out for your pleasure as well. For a healthy sexual relation, it should be a give and take thing (happening naturally of course and not forced). If you keep on giving him pleasure without bothering about your own, then sooner or later more and more bitterness will creep in the act and sex will become even more disturbing for you both.
I feel that you should go easy on the trying to please him part and focus a bit more on your pleasure as well. If he does something to you that you enjoy, be more vocal and expressive about it. Start small, don't hope that he will immediately go down on you. If he is uncomfortable with it right now, maybe you shouldn't put too much pressure on him about this. You can give him several hints though that you would like him to perform cunnilingus on you. Like maybe when he's caressing you be honest about how much you like it and if something doesn't tell that to him as well. Express your pleasure more. You can give him hints like heightened arousal (well if you are enjoying something this will happen automatically) and being more responsive when he goes down on you while caressing your body. Express your pleasure more and take a bit more lead in the love making process. If he does something you don't enjoy obviously your response will show him that he is doing something wrong. Once he understands to pay more heed to what you are saying, he will start looking at things from a different point of view.
You can also give him some bonus like fellatio or sex the way he likes, if and only if, he does what you like.
Secondly about Porn, well it is natural for some people (more so for men) to get their arousal from different means. Sexologists world over belive in the power of fantasies to improve a relationship. Porn gives some people somethings to fantasise about. It doesn't mean that you have to enjoy or you can not enjoy the same with him. He likes porn, fine for him, you can do what you feel good.

Answer 6

You are being taken advantage of pure and simple. I like performing oral sex on my wife because I know that is the easiest way for her to orgasm. A man will always get his but not women unless a man works at it. Why do you think a lot of women fake orgasms? Most men can't tell if a woman is faking or not. Your problem though goes much deeper. You need to talk with him, maybe even counseling. If he won't take care of your needs you must make him understand:

1. If he doesn't, you will not take care of him.
2. If he doesn't , there will be other "things" around the house that are not taken care of.
3. If he doesn't, you will find another way for your needs to be met. This he definitely won't like.
4. If he says for you to find another way, then you have his permission to find a friend rather than just having to stick to a toy.
5. If he really doesn't care that much about your needs, then you might start considering replacing him altogether. If you replace him, make sure your next friend understands that you do not like to perform oral sex on a man. There are guys out there that might not care if you do or don't but don't expect them to do you if you won't do them.

Answer 7

Firstly not all men dont like that. I for one love to, in fact many men do. That of course is beside the point. It is about sexual frustration, feeling slighted, unappreciated and feeling an unbalance. I would suggest you sit down and talk with your husband, and really say how all of sex makes you feel, try to stay in the I frame of mind. This could of course get very ugly and may already have been covered but it didn't sound like you really took a step aside with him to lay out all how you feel, just that you want oral. From there it really depends on his reaction and interest. Perhaps even needing to see a marriage councilor. Again depending on his willingness to work with you or disregard your feelings will tell you what you need to know about what future steps you will want to take.

Answer 8

I think the pornagraphy industry really makes a killing off of men more than women. Men seem to get some mental gratification by watching (like my husband). Unfortunately, just knowing that your husband is sexually selfish won't please you even if he did go down there because you know he is hating it. What I would do is deprive him of oral sex since he don't want to give you any. It's like being on strike...boycotting the goods. That's the only solution I can think of...either that or sex therapy. Have you tried watching porn with him?

It's just that some men find eating a woman out rather disgusting. The vagina is an internal organ which can be contaminated with urine, discharges and whatnot. It also smells more than a penis does. This probably turns him off. I know it turns me off.

Answer 9

If you are unhappy in your sex life; If there is no satisfaction and you are left still Wanting. Most likely He feels the same way as well. Perhaps your marriage was premature and deep inside you Know your not done playing the field.
Maybe a separation from each other would help? Forget about your marriage and try Dating him and see is things change.

Answer 10

This is a real problem & you've gotten some stupid answers. Let me give it a try-one female to another. Men have issues down there, too, if they don't bleed. I think you should stop s**king him. If he don't do you, don't do him. Why should he be satisfied and you're not? Of course if he can't get it from you, obviously, he's gonna cheat. Honey that's what men do-cheat. Prepare him for alimony, child support and whatever else you can get. Inform him your next man will be so grateful for this, he will no doubt do you too. All men like that action! Happy satisfaction

Answer 11

find a porn video and watch it together. tell him that you want to act out the scenes, including when the guy goes down on the woman. Don't complain about him not doing it, just take charge. Switch it up a bit. Maybe if he doesn't like the though of it, get some of that flavored gel/lubricant. Hey, it might help.