When I met my husband to be (we're now divorced), I worked in a gas station - boring! So ... after we'd been living together for a while, I had a talk with my mother and we agreed that I should try for a baby without telling him. I got pregnant but he didn't speak to me for a week when I told him! That was not nice for me. Anyway, few months later we got married. This was 17 years ago and I haven't had a job since. Now got two kids, both teenagers. Am I selfish to want to pursue my hobbies (I paint and sew) rather than work - he has to pay me alimony and I make sure I get as much money out of him as I can. He says he can't afford 1000 euros a month, which is what he has to pay, but I don't see why I should have to get a job when I have the court order in my favour. I also made sure I got half the value of the house when we split up (but I've spent all that now). I have a lot of interests so I have no time to work anyway.
2007-07-21 18:36:46 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has to pay me for 12 years so with what I get in unemployment benefits and alimony I'll be OK for a while yet. He didn't pay me anything for a couple of years because he said he didn't have a job for that time so I went after him through the courts and got the money out of him. I had to survive on credit cards and the money from the house. I think he deserves it because he left me for someone else. I never had an affair.
2007-07-22 13:29:36 · update #1
i do think you are being selfish, he was tricked into the baby and marraige. Now he has to pay for it ever that is not entirerly fair. If you have hobbies such as painting and sewing why dont you use that for an income and have a clear concious. That way your xhubby can really start over.
2007-07-21 18:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how do you get unemployment benefits if you haven't worked in 17 years??? you sound very selfish and greedy,,, if you have no skills and have been at home with the kids then you have a right for him to pay for some kind of schooling so you can get on your feet and pay your own way.. but to sit back and just take him for everything well..... you don't sound like a good person he is better off without you and your nasty mother
2007-07-26 00:04:49 · answer #2 · answered by tinkerbell3648 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are all that is wrong with women & that's what is wrong with the court system! There are so many great women out there & I hope your ex finds one that will truly charish him. Read your own words. I knowingly hooked him...right of the bat you were deceitful. You've never worked & it's more important to YOU to persue YOUR interest than to try & help your kids. You didn't say anything about your kids other than you have them. I hope he takes them away from you, because they'll grow up just like you & be a freeloading selffish piece of crap just like you! You got half of the value of something that you put nothing into. Let me guess, you're 50lbs over weight & didn't have sex with him the last 2 years of your marriege? You're unbelievable!!!
If you have to ask, you probably are...YES YOU ARE SELFISH!!! Stop it!
2007-07-22 01:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by Big Papa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It sounds like you never grew up and now you have no idea what responsibility is. Also starting a marriage in lies i.e. planning on a pregnancy without his knowledge, sneaky, it could have never worked. Get a job, grow up and let your ex live his life. 17 years of taking care of 3 kids (yourself included of course) is enough! I'm 23, happily married, love my job and now sickened, I hope this is a joke!
2007-07-22 01:48:28 · answer #4 · answered by Afghan_Hound_Dog_Groomer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your first selfish move was to get pregnant without talking to him. Your second is showing your 2 kids that it's okay to treat people that way. Do you treat your children the same way. Do they cook and clean so you can pursue your "interest". You may regret it someday when your children are upset with you for treating their father that way. And if you don't care why are you asking this?
2007-07-22 01:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by dbethanid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are. You basically tricked this guy into having to pay you money. If he wasn't ready for kids, how can you purposely get pregnant? You put the responsibility of kids on him when he didn't want to, AND you make him pay all the money? Yes, you're very very selfish. I feel really bad for this guy.
2007-07-22 01:42:54 · answer #6 · answered by i_heart_the_80s 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes you are being selfish, you need to do what is best for
your children. there nothing wrong with your hobbies but
you should also think of the fact that when you depend on
someone else to take care of you, you will alway be that'way
and that not a good way for your children to think about
there mothe like that. not a good example for them. is'
it.
2007-07-22 01:44:16 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't see why you can't do both. i think it's completely unfair to make him HAVE to work just to support you PLUS support himself. that's not just selfish, that's cruel. i hate finding out that people seriously do these things.
grow up and get a job. at least part time to help out a little. that way you still have time for your hobbies.
or, turn your hobbies into a job. that way you get paid to do what you love to do.
hope you take my advice. good luck!
2007-07-22 01:43:22 · answer #8 · answered by peace_and_love59 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that in a way you are being selfish. do you really like knowing that you pay for all you have with his money. dont you want to know how it feels to work for something. instead of it being handed to you. im not saying go out and get a full time job but do something with your life. your children are almost adults do you want them to look at you and say hey my mom did it why can't i dont you want them to make something of themselves you like to paint and sew why not become a teacher. or make open up your own place. you can do so much with what you love to do. believe me once you earn your own money and your able to pay for something on your own. your going to wish you would of done it sooner. its a sense of pride. its kind of like your being a gold digger and thats not the best titile for any person to have
2007-07-22 01:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by adrik c 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a Job
2007-07-22 01:40:04 · answer #10 · answered by Life lover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋