my ex partly (mostly? only he knows) broke up with me recently because he felt like we were getting pretty serious and that we were going nowhere because we are different races! he said he would not be able to marry me because his parents are very traditional/strict and he wants to please his parents by marrying in his race. We're both only 20 years old! i dont intend on getting married anytime soon. but i guess he was thinking of the future, since we were getting serious. I like him so much, we're so compatible, and we've been together for like a year, yet the time we share still is always so fun and never boring! he makes me so happy and the same for him too. i feel like we can have a really good relationship, if this barrier was not there. i hate how i have no control. we are friends now, but it's different and i miss the way we used to be. is there any way around this? has anyone had/is going through a similar situation? advice/suggestions?
2007-07-21 18:31:38 · 24 answers · asked by hunnysweet787 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hmmm...forget about him. My husbands step-mother said I was the white devil once. And my people killed Jesus, and this and that. But she has issues, it never affected out relationship. Sounds like hes too dependent on his family to have healthy relationship with anybody.
2007-07-21 18:36:33 · answer #1 · answered by ☺☻☺☻☺☻ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 21:04:25 · answer #2 · answered by Josephine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say this but he is using the race card to end the relationship. A man who truly loves you, cannot live without you and wouldn't care if you were purple! He would be with you no matter what...because he would realize that he can't live without you or your love. He is probably afraid of commitment.....that is common in young men and is using the racial difference as an excuse.
A man of true character would never think in this way. He would realize that his parents were wrong, that he was an adult, and that God meant for the two of you to be together and he would do everything in his power to make it happen.
Who would want to be with a man who loved because of the color of the skin and not because of the love that was shared between the two.
And I would be pretty ticked off at him. Why did he get involved with you and have you trust and commit to the relationship............he knew what race you were when he began dating you. He should not have gotten involved. He already knew how his parents felt.
2007-07-21 18:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say he broke up with you because of his parents. His parents knew that your was getting very serious with the relationship, and they told him that being that your are different races with different background, he should end this relationship and not continue to get serious. He did what his parents ask him to do, in order to please his parents. I don't think it no way around this, his mind is already set, in your just being friends. Don't be surprise if you hear that he dating a girl right now.. Go and find someone else that will appreciate you for not your race but for the loving person you are.
2007-07-26 15:21:59 · answer #4 · answered by dbrh_soto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to ask one question....if he knew that this wasn't acceptable then why did he continue with the relationship?? It doesn't really make any sense...
I am Italian and married to an African American man....before him, I dated all kinds of different guys from different races...my family didn't really like it at first, but they just accepted me for me....they absolutely adore my husband....we have 4 children too....
I think that if a person is not willing to stand up and love someone because of a race difference then there is no need to be with a person like this....move on....there are so many guys out there, just be careful...they are not all Mr Wonderful if you know what I mean....
2007-07-28 16:25:47 · answer #5 · answered by Julie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both still young. Relationships will come and go. But eventually you'll meet someone who is even better for you than he was. He still has some growing up to do because he wants to make his parents happy regardless of how he might feel. But at least he was upfront with you and let you know that the relationship wasn't going to progress. Stay as busy as possible or hang out with your friends more to help keep your mind off him.
2007-07-21 19:03:39 · answer #6 · answered by Sub Xero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else and don't waste your time. Right or wrong he is honoring his parents and that is something you only fight on a chic flic. If you are attracted to his race find someone else that is not worried about race. But you should respect his decision and don't take it personally because there are thousands more women of your race he won't marry either, not just you. I applaud him for ending the relationship now since he has no intentions of marrying you for whatever reasons. Better to end it now and not waste several years of your life with the hope of marriage. You are young and will survive nicely and will easily find someone else down the road.
2007-07-21 18:39:42 · answer #7 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From the guys perspective:
This happened to me but not with race. Age was the factor.
My family didn't approve she was 25 and i was 18. I'm Irish and she was Spanish.
I broke up with her because its so difficult when your family don't approve you feel like you let them down. It was kind of having to choose between the two even though no one is asking you to. I now harbour a little resentment towards my parents.
To be honest i regret leaving her now. Maybe in a while he will feel the same too. He might realise what he has lost and come back.
2007-07-26 05:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by Paddy H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's got his own issues, including a controlling family. Just because he feels weird about a bi-racial relationship doesn't make it your fault that you broke up. You broke up because of his issues.
My advice is to move on and find someone who can either love you for you and not even consider what race you are, or hold off on relationships until you're ready.
2007-07-21 18:40:07 · answer #9 · answered by ottavia88888888 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could be wrong but i think this was an excuse to end the relationship. When you are truly in love nothing or no one will stop you from being together. If his family is trying to control his life now, they're gonna continue to control his life unless he speaks up and tell them in a "nice way" to back off.
2007-07-29 05:59:31 · answer #10 · answered by jordan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No but he is right. first of all when there are different races wellyou are right its hard for maybe parents and i am guessing it is for him or he'd not said something. hes not in love with you either or it would be different. but it could be very hard. i mean people stare and there are so many things and in some places depending on whomyou are you could be in wrong state there are things in different states some of the people don't like and they will be mean texas is one and some southern states also so its best let it lie and find someone else.
2007-07-26 16:09:14 · answer #11 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋