should i let the back child support go for the sake of peace or should i make the kind man pay?

Question

my daughter's biological father has suddenly taken an interest in her. she was in the hospital and he decided he gave a crap. she is 7. he owes me 8,000 in back child support, plus pays every week. the judge really socked it to him in court. he holds a grudge about the back support. should i let it go, or should he be accountable for the back support owed?

Answer 1

it's not your decision whether or not he pays the child support. it's not your choice, and it's not a question of 'letting it go for the sake of peace'... or whether or not he's 'kind'.

the law states that he is obligated to pay support for each and every child he fathers. and the way it was explained to me was that even if the mother were a millionaire, and the father was totally broke, he would still be responsible for the payments assessed by the courts. the theory being that whatever additional benefits the child could receive would be due them.
so, again, it's not your call, and he has to pay the support. he might be able to work out a payment plan, with the court, to make up the arrears. and, they will also garnishee his tax refunds, as well as his salary.

Answer 2

You have had to be the sole support for your daughter and I'm sure you could have used that extra $8,000 for something at some point. You are entitled to support from her father. They based his support on the same system they use with all the other non-custodial parents and was ordered as the court saw fit.

Not only have you been the sole support, but if he hasn't given a crap up to this point then all the more reason to hold it to him. I'm not sure that you could dismiss it anyways. I'm pretty sure the law is quite clear that every child has the right to be supported by both parents.

If you feel that you want to let him off the hook why not set up a college acount for her instead and all monies he pays go into the account.

Answer 3

Him and you must obey the judges decision. It makes no difference if the father wants to see her or not - the child support must be paid.
He should not be holding a grudge against the court just because he owes the money. Rules are rules and he needs to realize that and get on with life.
Once he pays everything - then you can go back to court and have the judge change it but NOT until then.

Answer 4

Let him pay, if you don't need the money, put it in a savings account and give it to her when she turns 18 or goes off to college. To make peace, explain to him what you are doing with the money.

At least taht way, he gets the feeling that hsi money is doing something good, and you can make some sort of a peace offering.

An the other hand, I wouldn't let him off. He owed that money to you, you supported her for the first seven years, some fo that without any financial help at all. You don't have to be nassty about it, that's just a fact of life. I am truly sorry that he holds a grudge about paying a legal and moral debt.
Andrew makes a good point, I have two sons for whom I pay nearly 900 per month. The only way I could get my ex to let them live with me without a court battle, was to agree to pay her the 900 a month. Small price to pay to have my sons with me, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I paid while they were living with her, and I didn't mind. That's just part of the process.

Answer 5

If it is court ordered he HAS to pay it back. The courts will keep track of what he is paying. They can also garnish his wages for current child support since he has already shown that he is not reliable. My sister had her ex's wages garnished when they divorced because he was spending almost his whole check at the bar. Most states are actually going this way now so it cuts down on the amount of deadbeats.

Answer 6

If you can afford it--let it go. If you're broke, get a court-order to have his wages garnished. If it is garnished, the money will be automatically added to your bank account each month without an argument or sob story from him about how you don't deserve it, how he shouldn't have to pay, etc.

Even if you can't get the back payments, AT LEAST garnish his wages. I think most courts are requesting automatic payments/wage garnishing for everyone, not just the late payers. It just makes things easier. Even if things are civil now, they may not be in the future.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

If your daughter's age is near adulthood , it would be have to be your decision .

If your daughter is still very young and needs clothes and supplies for school , that may be an extra expense and need financial help from her biological father. I would keep pressing for support.

Visitation rights really have nothing to do with it, he should see his daughter AND do his part by helping to pay the expenses of having a child.

Answer 9

My child support obligation has been fulfilled and i have 3 beautiful daughters in their 20's. I paid $275,000 dollars in child support thru a span of 16 years and i think that makes me able to say that you just gotta take care of your kids no matter what. I make 40,000 a year.

Answer 10

Make him pay. That money is for your daughter's schooling, shoes, piano lessons etc. Your daughter gets less privledges because he can't be bothered paying, therefore you have to spend more time at work trying to make up for it. As a result you lose more quality time with your daughter.