so long as they're effective, why do people belittle 'feel-good' solutions?

Question

why do skeptics take issue with people feeling good while solving a problem? guilt is a powerful motivator, why can't happiness be too? not every solution must be painful, and every little bit helps. so long as they work, why do people belittle 'feel-good' solutions?

Answer 1

It's just a defense tactic used when no sensible argument can be found. Or sometimes people are playing devil's advocate. Don't worry as you are right Patz solutions should be easy and feel good otherwise it is not a solution at all just another set of problems.

Feel good solutions feel good. Simple. Who would argue against feeling good? You want to feel crap or good about what you do in your life? Keep doing what you are doing kid promise you there is nothing to worry about.

Answer 2

To put it simply, some people are jerks that way. Really.

And yes, there are cultural influences, at least in Western civilization, that stretch way back on this....Victorian ones, Puritan ones, Pilgrim ones (If she feels too good she *must* be a witch!), Stoic ones (yes, even in ancient Rome!)....

But what it boils down to is that some people are just killjoys. For whatever reason, life is generally swell for these folks but not perfect in some way, and that makes them miserable in a way that is difficult to relate to, so what happens is...

They retaliate. If they have to be miserable, the killjoys will do what it takes to drag other happy people *down to their level*. And then they will use whatever rationale is fashionable in the period of history: philosophy, politics, religion, science, family vendettas, historical vendettas, whatever works. They aren't the jerks here, oh no, something *cultural* out there justifies their hating and attacking those who are happy and feel good.

Really. It's been a part of humanity so long now I think it must be a genetic flaw. o_o Some few people just cannot abide by the notion that others are happier and feel better than they do. And I'm not really dissing myself--as depressed and melancholy as I get sometimes--because I know the answer isn't to spread misery, but to elevate your own game and *be happy yourself* when you can. I'm saying this of the folks who *don't even think* of improving their own lot in life unless it tears someone else down.

I'm really thinking this is one of the big roots of all evil here: that people can end up hating *happiness itself* wherever it exists, whether it's from friends, family, hobbies, good food, sex, the internet, doing a good job, whatever....

And the kicker? A lot of these people have a domineering, cheap, petty, slave-driver type of mentality as well, and so rich people tend to *love* the killjoys because the killjoys are efficient and save them *money*. So the killjoys end up being *in charge* of things way out of proportion to their actual numbers in society....it becomes an oligarchy of misery and pettiness. And as word gets out that these tactics are what defines "success", well....other people want to emulate "the successful", right?

Personally, if it were up to me....every solution would have some *required* win-win, feel-good element to it. Seriously, we humans are smart enough and rich enough as a whole species, we can figure out how to do this not just for the rich but for everyone. Would this put a lid on the billionaires? Definitely. But it would also do *much more* to ease total misery on the planet for everyone else.

One of the first words a good parent drills into the head of her son or daughter is: Share. So why can we not share the good along with the bad? Why belittle happiness and feel-good and *confine it* to the filthy rich and the killjoy estate they've hired?

Just asking...Thanks for your time. ^_^ Good Question!

Answer 3

I don't believe this is a cultural, a learned, or even necessarily a conscious thing. To belittle, (not accept), "feel good situations" reaffirms their own negative attitude about life. For some people, to feel pain is their only way to recognize themselves. There are also some, (religious), who truly believe that only through pain can one find "truths"--but they never seem to get there. It isn't the person feeling good that is being focused on; it's the feeling itself, & being miserable has become so familar to them, they won't let it go. (Abused women who stay in a relationship, for example.)

Edit: I'm REALLY confused about exactly what the "filthy rich" have to do with this???

Answer 4

If you ask me, anytime we do ANYTHING for anyone, we're in turn helping ourselves to feel good. Even Mother Teresa, who selflessly gave her life to her cause, got the satisfaction of knowing she was doing something pleasing in the eyes of the Lord...and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If buying a hybrid makes you feel good about yourself and in also helps the environment (and your wallet), then by all means do it. In that sense, the ends really do justify the means. The problem I think people initially have is whether you're doing something for the "right" reasons. Are you only doing it to build yourself up and make yourself look good, or do you genuinely care about what you're doing? From there it just grows into an overall disdain for feel-good solutions.

Answer 5

I interpreted this question asked "WHY do people...." I've seen disparate speculations in the answers, well intended, I'm sure. However, the attitude you describe is a psychological disorder that ranges from mild to severe. What you ask represents to me, your wish to understand the reasons, not to combat them. IF such people are at all annoying, understanding their need to project negativism will help you to deflect it, when you're feeling good. The psychologist Psychic Cat best answered your "why." I'm also a psychologist, & had/have clients with this disorder who had progressed to physical masochism, self inflicted harm, (cutters, etc.). Understanding the cause is important. Rather than placing blame, or labeling them with a broad brush, to realize that they have--rather like alcoholisim--a "disease" is far more humane.

Answer 6

Because they usually do nothing more than foster a sick need for more, which only leads to more 'problems'. Like a baby who throws its toy down , then cries until someone picks it up again and again.

Answer 7

Ah, dear, we know all about people who don't feel good about themselves and refuse to improve and to be happy, and envy and try to destroy who does, don't we??

You don't worry about about any of them, and don't listen to whatever they say!!

Make sure you follow your heart, and be very happy, which you so much deserve!! :)