how do you discipline a 3 month old that is throwing temper tantrums?

Question

he throw temper tantrums to get attention or whenever we are not giving him what he wants when he wants it. it has started in the last couple of weeks and they are getting worse, the last one was because i was making his bottle and he started flayling (sp) and screaming and then he begain to cough and make himself throw up all in the space of two minutes, while i was holding him.

he actually feeds every 1 1/2 to 2 hours and is on lactose free milk.
about the abuse comment, discipline does not mean hit, or ignore, just teaching them that throwing a tempertantrum and screaming and throwing up isn't the way to go, and the reason why i say this is because he is advanced, emotionally, socially and physically for his age about 1 to 2 months ahead

i do know the difference between his cries and this one takes the cake

he also holds out his arms when he wants to be held, we taught him that,

instead of telling me that i should be in jail or that i should give my baby up for adoption why dont you give me ideas to help then, wouldn't that be more helpful and informative, i just asked, it was just a question, feed back is good, suggestions are good.
and i am a good mother, he is happy about 99 percent of the time the 1 percent is when he is screaming

JUST TO CLARIFY< when i use the word discipline, i mean teach.
i am a teacher and discipline means teach in our field sorry about the vocab mix up

i hold him 95 % of the day, i sing to him, i read to him, i kiss him and hug him, but when i put him downfor five min, he screams untill i pick him back up.

Answer 1

It may not be he's screaming because he's not getting what he wants. My son did that too. He could have bad gas or teething or constipated. My son started teething at 3 months old and he would scream his head off. I didn't know what to do. Everytime I picked him up he stopped screaming. I thought at first before I realized that he was teething that he was spoiled from his daddy holding him all the time, but he wanted the comfort from his mommy. He stopped screaming when I picked him up and it still hurt him, but the fact that I was comforting him...made him feel better. He's still going through it now and he doesn't have any tooth breaking through yet. He's still all gum and he's 8 months old. Get some teething tablets and Mylicon. Both of them are NOT medicine, so you can give it to him together and wait it out. When my son starts screaming like that, I give him Mylicon, a teething tablet, and Tylenol for pain. I give him a warm bottle and I hold him while feeding him. He ends up falling asleep in my arms and when he wakes up...he's so playful and happy. You can give the Mylicon and teething tablets to him everyday, but the Tylenol IS medicine and you only need to give that to him when he NEEDS it. Good luck

Answer 2

A 3 month old baby is NOT capable of throwing a fit.
The central nervous system is not that developed......but how you handle things will have an affect on him. At this age they need to feel bonded. For pete's sake the kid just spent 9 months being comfortable.
You need to definatly see a doctor. There could be more food alergies. Or his crying might be making him take gulps of air and he gets painful gas. Have you tried the over the counter gas medication for infants?
You might try a front harness or holder that keeps him close to you and makes him feel less disconnected from you.
It takes a baby a long time to realize that mom and him arn't the same person & that it is ok to exist on his own. He maybe needs to be swaddled more and put a small hat on him or when he is laying down put one of those ...not sure what they are called.....a U shaped pillow at his neck so that he feels safe and not like he is falling. When you lay him down always put one hand on his tummy and let him get used to the change of position.
He might also be getting negative feelings via you because of your frustration. You might need to work on being more relaxed. Or have a trusted friend of family member give you a break for the afternoon.

Both of my boys cried and screamed and barely slept......they were both missing a rare enzyme that was needed to digest sucrose. The first diagnosis took 14 months. I was a wreck by the time he finally was sleeping. The second one had the same symptoms .......so a diet change was immediate.
My daughter could eat nails at that age and be fine ( just kidding)

Feeding him at the 1/2 hour intrivel could be giving him pain.
He also might have a reflux problem.

PLEASE don't see this as a tantrum. But a primal way to let you know that something is wrong. If only he could speak.

It isn't possible to spoil a child the first year. They need touch and holding and bonding . Don't forget to talk to the baby and sing to him. There is a whole new world out there for him to experience and learn

Answer 3

If you are a teacher then you will also know about developmentally appropriate practices - and any form of discipline with a 3 month old is absolutely developmentally inappropriate.

When you taught him to put his arms out when he wants to be held, it was probably simple operant conditioning. You held out your arms, he copied you, and he was rewarded for doing so by you picking him up. Do that enough times, and he will start putting his arms up because he knows something good will come of it. It is reinforced positively. (If you remember, Skinner used operant conditioning to train dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell - it is really simple and it does not take a lot of thought on the part of the one being taught.)

You are not going to be able to teach a 3 month old using negative reinforcement (or trying to eliminate a behavior). He is just flat not old enough. If he is screaming, something is wrong, and he NEEDS you. A 3 month old lacks the mental capacity to try to manipulate you through his actions. He can't throw a "temper tantrum" to get his way like a 2 year old can. Even if he is a litle advanced for his age, he simply lacks the capacity to do that. It's not possible.

If it is different from the rest of his cries, you may seriously want to consider taking him to the doctor. Flailing and screaming until he makes himself vomit almost sounds like a seizure. I'd take him to the doctor, and until then do whatever you can to comfort him when he gets like that.

Answer 4

There is no possible way of disciplining a 3 month old, it is still a newborn. I can assume this is your first child, but even if it was, it's common sense to know that crying is the only way a baby has of showing what he feels, whether it be hunger, pain, hotness, coldness, colic, there is no possible way he will tell you "Mommy, I'm hungry please feed me"
At this stage he is learning to trust you, and if you want to "discipline" him now, all he will learn is not to trust you, he will learn that he is not important enough for anyone to care about his needs. He didn't make himself throw up, when children cry a lot, and swallow all that air, their tummies fill up with air, and that causes them to throw up, and he was most likely coughing because he swallowed his saliva wrong or could not catch his breath.
All babies do that, both my children have done it, and they eventually grew out of it, I never disciplined them. Just the thought of someone wanting to discipline a 3 month old baby is repulsive and disturbing.
If you think this is too much for you to handle, or you are unsure of what needs to be done, call your son's pediatrician and tell him how all this makes you feel, I'm sure he'll be able to give you some advise, maybe even suggest some new parent classes, they will come in handy.
Good luck, and take care of that wonderful miracle the Lord has granted you to have, you are very fortunate to have been able to become a mother.

Answer 5

A 3 month old does not understand the word NO so they really are not able to throw temper tantrums. My 15 month old has just began throwing what I call fits. Sometimes it seems like they are manipulating you but they are not. Letting them cry for a few minutes as long as you know that their needs have been met will not kill them. What it sounds like to me is that you waited to long to feed him and he got upset. At that age their only means of comunication is crying. The only thing you can do is once you know that their is nothing wrong and you have tried everything possible is lay them down and let them cry while you get a level head and then go back and try to help them some more. Nobody ever said being a mom would be easy.

Answer 6

He's not throwing a tantrum, mom, he's just being a baby. You don't ever discipline a baby of three months old, you don't even need to start discipling your child till he's about one, when he begins to understand NO.

He is three months old and has NO concept of anything other than he's hungry, he's tired or he's sick. He has no concept that you're not attached to him any more, and he has no concept that there is a world around him that is bigger than he is. It will be months before he begins to realise that mom is not attached to him anymore.

Hold off on the discipline until he's about a year old. Get someone close to you to babysit for an afternoon so you can get a break. You sound like you're getting ready to go off the deep end and you just need a few hours to yourself. Call on some friends to help you out for an afternoon or two a week.
I'm worried that you would suggest disciplining a child at three months old. Where is your support group? Where's your parents? Your siblings? Your friends? Your Pastor? Your co-workers?

Be careful, Mom, this is how bad things happen and young mommies wind up in jail. DON'T go there. Call some friends or family to help you for an afternoon.

Answer 7

I don't think you can discipline a 3 month old. You just need to give him as much attention as he needs. He is probably really hungry and stressed because a 3 month old does not know how to be patient and wait for his milk or whatever else he needs. The more he gets left to cry and scream the more he will do it and not feel satisfied. You need to trust in yourself and try to find what he needs. It can be really hard to know if he is too hot, too cold, hungry, tired, dirty etc...... but I find with my 5 month old baby she only gets upset when she needs something. If it gets really difficult just put him down somewhere safe and walk away for 5 or 10 minutes until you feel calmer or an even better option is to get someone else to help settle him at these times.As he gets older it gets so much easier so hang in there and keep trying!

Answer 8

Is this a joke?

Baby's wants are baby's needs. Whatever your 3 month old wants, he needs. Comfort him and give him what he needs.

I hope you're joking. Babies this young do NOT manipulate, and they do NOT throw temper tantrums. I'm very scared at your word choices. If you're frustrated, please get help.

Check into attachment parenting. It's really cool. It's baby-centered, and totally rewarding for parents. My kids have lots to be unhappy about (dad is in Iraq), but they are confident, outgoing and independent. My daughter's favorite thing to say is "Calla do it!" I think being carried a lot, cosleeping and nursing on demand has made her independent. It will work for you too.

Your baby was upset because he was hungry. Learn his early hunger cues (lip-smacking, hand-sucking, latching onto your nose, whatever) to avoid making him so upset. It's OK if you miss them once in a while and he screams. Just catch it early next time.

You don't discipline an infant. Period. Don't be frustrated--he's just a baby. He's not trying to make you miserable, he just can't say "Mom, I was ready for a snack half an hour ago, where the hell were you?" So he screams. It's OK. You can get through this. I know you can.

Answer 9

Your baby does not need discipline,needs a caring and loving mother.The teaching degree does not apply here, sorry.You need to develop the skills of a mother and not a teacher.Babies need warmth,love and attention, sorry no teaching school will teach you this,just your love and your instinct.
Drop what you learned at school, this is another chapter in yourlife, no degree necessary, just motherly love:)
Good luck with your baby, I am sure you will make a great mom (once you drop the discipline part)

Answer 10

I do agree you cannot discipline a 3 month old. However I do understand what you mean. My 3 month old seems like he throws fits. But its because he is colicky and I do all I can for him but when nothing works I do put him down to regain sanity from him screaming and crying. Then once you have regained composure try to see what you can do again. I don't believe there is disciplining a 3 month old.