My husband left recently. Said that he loved me and cared about me but was no longer in love with me that way. I am having a hard time admitting to myself he is not coming home. And i know once i do i can start the healing process. But how do you admit it and start healling?
2007-07-21 15:50:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, I am so sorry, because I know you're hurting and you want to start healing.....but in order to begin healing, you must start living your life as if he's never coming back. It's not something you admit so-to-speak, it's something that you begin to believe and deal with--especially the way you start to begin your life without him. It's almost as if he has 'died' to your heart and soul...and this is a painful loss...you will go through feeling angry, guilty, sad, lonely, and then you will cry your heart out....this will take a long, long, time....but you know what comes next? A brand new life, long lost to you.....and NEW beginnings......for you to enjoy.....life is ours for the taking.....and that's what we must do--take it a day at a time and realize that better things are waiting for us with each new day that passes.
2007-07-21 16:13:43 · answer #1 · answered by Virgo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand it is hard to accept the fact that the person you love has left, but you must face it. You are not doing yourself any good trying to figure him out. And even if he called you up to say he made a mistake, would you really want him back? He has told you that he no longer loves you enough to be married to you. That probably means he has found someone else and has moved on, and so should you.
There are a lot of great guys out there. Give yourself some time to heal and you will find a guy who will treat you right.
Hang in there. It is seems unbearable right now but time does heal and you will be fine.
Best of luck!
2007-07-21 16:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by Colleen G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sigh... yeah the old story... "I love you but I am not in love with you!" I roll my eyes. Many say it. It's a script they follow.
How do you admit it to yourself?
You get a bunch of your best girlfriends together along with your favourite BEvERages and say it out loud many, many times... It's OVER. He's NOT coming back the rata$$moronba$tard. And then you drink some more, you cry, you let your girlfriends look after you... and you drink some more and you even laugh, and that's how it starts to heal.
Sometime it takes a month, some times it takes a couple of years. Don't rush it. Learn from your mistakes, and don't attract another one like him . Learn from this and it will start to get better. really.
2007-07-21 15:57:41 · answer #3 · answered by teritaur 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
U CAN IF U SET YOUR MIND TO IT. THE SOONER U CAN ADMIT IT THE SOONER THE HEALING PROCESS STARTS AND ENDS AS WELL. IT IS HARD I KNOW, BUT JUST THINK HOW MUCH BETTER U WILL FEEL KNOWING THE TRUTH AND NO LIES TO FACE EACH DAY AS IT GOES BY. MAYBE AFTER U REACT TO YOUR NEW CHAPTER IN YOUR LIFE AS IT TAKES U TO ANOTHER DIRECTION, U CAN FIND TRUE LOVE. JUST DO NOT BE IN A HURRY BECAUSE THAT IS HOW U CAN MISS THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE. WHEN U LEAST EXPECT IT HE WILL BE THERE.
2007-07-21 16:01:04 · answer #4 · answered by CONFUSED 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get out there with friends as a support system. It gets easier with time, I know because I've been there. But, let go. Tell yourself it's his loss and move on. No one is worth being sad over. Just remember, the sun will come up tomorrow.
2007-07-21 16:20:46 · answer #5 · answered by Pache 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't easy...it took my several months to pull myself together and move on with my life....but I had a child and I needed to get my act together and realize that my life wasn't ending...Even though we get married and believe that this is going to last forever; the reality is that that is not the reality at all! Start to think about things you want to do for yourself...plan your future....whether it's going back to school, getting a better job, spending time with friends that you neglected, or family that you haven't seen much.....this is a great time for you...stop feeling hurt and get motivated and determined...it will help your mood and increase your drive! You will be fine....I promise!
2007-07-21 15:56:31 · answer #6 · answered by TT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You start by keeping yourself as busy and involved as you can.Keep your mind occupied with other things and don't feel sorry for yourself.I know it's very hard but you can do it.
Time really is a great healer.Turn to friends and family as their always there for you but don't dwell on the subject of your husband.
Always remember that you're worthy of someone who truly loves you and that's what you deserve.You don't really want to hang onto a husband who is no longer in love with you.
Have courage my dear and God bless.
2007-07-21 16:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time for you to stop waiting for him to come home. It also takes effort.
Try joining a gym, going to classes, joining a club or volunteering. Keeping busy doing productive and positive things with other people really helps.
After a while, you may find that you are happier than when you were married.
2007-07-21 15:58:58 · answer #8 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it probably won't hit you for REAL until you start the divorce proceedings. In order to move on with your life, I would go ahead and start them. Don't wait for him to do it. The faster you can get the divorce over, the faster you can have a clean slate and start to heal.
2007-07-21 16:17:50 · answer #9 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already started the healing process.Unfortunately there is no way to speed it up,it will take as long as it needs to take ,but I think you already know that. Time heals all wounds.Good luck .I am sure that you will be o.k.
2007-07-21 16:01:39 · answer #10 · answered by Julius C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋