How can I help my wife develop a good relationship with my children.?

Question

I would like some advice on how I can help my wife develop a good relationship with my children. I am remarried, and I pay child support. I'm close with my children, but they pose a significant expense to me.

Any advice out there?

Answer 1

Listen to her concerns but also let her know that in all ways she must respect your children and your relationship with them. So often a parent is pushed away from their children by the new spouse. If she really loves you she won't ask you to ever choose over any issue.

Answer 2

I feel that open communication and honesty is the key to a relationship. I feel it is a good idea if you sit down with your wife and let her know how you feel. You and your wife can sit down and plan some family events that you do together with the kids. Having special things planned to with the kids will help all of you become closer to the kids. You also have to remember that this may be hard for your wife. There is the child's real mother to consider and sometimes that will make it harder. Make sure that your wife is involved enough to where she is making decisions to because this is her life too and it will affect her too.

Answer 3

i've got self assurance the human heart is gigantic sufficient to hold and look after many human beings, circumstances, and relationships. in the journey that your babies are your single precedence and not something can intervene with that, how are you able to take care of a marriage? how are you able to hold a job or take part in a non secular dating at the same time with your bigger being? each thing has it extremely is time and place; so do our babies. i do no longer understand in the journey that your marriage is a satisfied one yet whilst it extremely is not i'm able to assure your babies p.c.. up on the discord. Is that honest to them to stay at the same time with your muted sadness? in the journey that your heart is gigantic sufficient then there is room on your babies and a sparkling dating, and no one would be displaced. families enhance, boost and multiply all of the time. prepare your babies to be accepting and loving and that they won't sense as though they do no longer come first with you. Blood isn't the only ingredient that ties a kinfolk at the same time. our babies seem to us for stability, protection, love and popularity. If we provide this to them, they're going to provide it back and allowing a sparkling member into the kinfolk won't sense like a risk or betrayal. it extremely is been my journey that the extra youthful the youngster the extra accepting they are of a sparkling kinfolk member. With babies there are sacrifices and compromises without a doubt, yet i do no longer understand the place it has ever been written or taught that we could constantly be depressing as dad and mom for the sake of our babies. A depressing discern is a depressing new child. besides, somewhat difficulty-loose experience is going an prolonged way no rely what the situation may well be. go with your loves properly. babies do no longer positioned an end on your existence, they enhance it. Relationships come and flow yet your babies are constantly. do no longer deprive them of studying a thank you to love others.

Answer 4

It is important to involve your wife whenever you are with your children. Try to do things as a family so your children will feel you are spending quality time with them and she will feel as if she is a part of everything. Problems often arise when you begin doing things separately from each other. Just try to have fun without forcing the issue and hopefully it will all work out.

Good luck!

Answer 5

It depends. Was she the other woman in the divorce? If so, you children might understandably hold some ill feelings toward her. And good luck with that. If not, and you met her long after your divorce, just take it slow and easy. Tell her to be as nice as possible without coming off fake. I would hope before she married you she realized that you were coming with quite a load of baggage.

Answer 6

Ok, let me make sure I have this correct. This is your second wife, right? And you want to help her develop a good relationship with your children from your first marriage? I don't know if the children live with you or not, it sounds like they don't since you pay child support so I'll answer according to that. And, I'm not sure what you mean when you say your children "pose a significant expense to me." The reason for that statement is?????? Yes, children are very expensive to have and to raise - that's a given. The more children you have, the more expensive it is for you to help buy food, clothing, schooling, etc.. But they are not to blame here. You chose to have those children so look on it as a responsibility that you have to honor not a financial burden. If you see them as a burden, they will sense it and their self-worth will plummet. Might want to think about that a little bit.

If it's the case that your children only visit you on weekends and/or holidays, it's important that YOU spend most of that time with them. Your new wife can be there to support your time with them by stepping back at first. Then it's up to her when and where and how she wants to interact with your children. One on one? Or in a group/family? Whatever makes her feel comfortable and especially whatever makes your children feel comfortable. You need to step back from it and not push her onto them. They will recoil from her and you and resent her. Make sure she does NOT do any kind of discipline or punishment, that's your job as their father but your children should know the rules of your household and she can uphold them as your rules and not hers if you happen to not be home with them.

The best thing you can do is inform her of their interests in order for her to strike up a conversation with them, don't keep mentioning her to your children or make them see her as their second mother, let their relationship evolve. Be patient and let your wife figure out the best way to approach each one of them. She can let them know they are always welcome at your home with a smile whenever they come to visit. If she bakes, she can bake them treats...that's always a welcoming scent and action to anyone. If she cooks dinner, she can make some favorites of theirs quietly. If she likes to play sports, she can suggest going out back and kickin' the soccer ball around or just do it and the children will be curious and watch at first. Eventually, I bet they will come out and want to play too. (play frisbee, croquet, horseshoes, etc.) All she can do is slowly reach out to them in her own way(s) and not hold any resentment towards them for taking you away from her while they visit you. Eventually, you can start to include her on the outings with you and your children. I think you'll both know when it's time for that.

Without knowing the children's ages, it's a bit difficult for specifics and without knowing the personalities of your ex-wife, your current wife, yourself and your children, it's kinda' hard to advise but I hope this helps, even just a little.

Answer 7

The first thing that she needs to understand is that when she married you, there was a package deal in place. It is unrealistic and selfish to expect you to abandon your kids for her. She needs to accept that you have children that you love very much but that does not change the fact that you love her very much, too.

Here are some suggestions for you.

1) Invite the kids over based on your visitation rights. Plan group activities and make sure that they always treat your wife with respect. Make sure that they give her a hug when they go to bed.

2) Ask your wife, in private, to praise your kids in front of them. She should constantly show respect, love, appropriate affection and valid praise. Children thrive on respect and praise. If she can do this, regardless of if she actually feels it, they will grow closer to her and she will grow closer to them as well.

3) Praise your wife in front of your kids and praise your kids in front of your wife. NEVER allow your wife to speak bad of their mother and you should never speak bad of their mother in front of the kids. The kids should never be put in the middle of a divorce.

4) Ask your wife to write a well thought-out list of all the issues that she is having. Once she has them written out, discuss them with her and try to come to an understanding with her. There may be a need for compromise but she will appreciate it if you allow her to help come up with the solutions.

I wish you and your family all the best!

Answer 8

I don't get your question. Do they live with you or not? Your close with them...BUT? It sounds like money is what matters most to you. I think you should re ask this question with a little more detail because this is what I perceived: You would like your wife to take over because your remarried now and you have little time left to spend with them not to mention they cost you more money than you want to fork out for them.

Answer 9

Smack the ***** around.