Omg...Should i tell my gf i have phimosis?

Question

im 17 years old..and she wants to have sex..what excuse should i use? i want to...but i cant. the thing is i dont want circumcision , im affraid that it wil hurt like crap. dont tell me to masturbate , cuz is no solution, i masturbating right now. should i make an appointment with the doc? is it possible
that they make me sleep while cutting it? because if they dont make me sleep. i will stay virgin for ever.

pss: this is so frustrating..

Answer 1

If you can masturbate, you can have sex.

You can actually fix phimosis pretty well without surgery. I did. Here, this old post may help:

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Some may say that circumcision will fix it, but circumcision's risks include reduction in sensitivity and pleasure, and making masturbation more difficult according to studies (including a few new ones from a few months ago). Oddly enough that's how it was promoted in the USA since masturbation was bad, haha. There's a reason why the USA is the last remaining advanced nation still doing it, and even so, it's getting a lot less popular (it's now as low as 14% in some states). Save that as a last resort, as you're doing. That's only one of the few risks, there's more listed here, in addition to the studies and statistics:
http://forums.govteen.com/showpost.php?p=3069995&postcount=2

I was the same when I was younger, and now it slides fine with no problems whatsoever. Just pull back your foreskin when you shower the most you can without forcing it, and rub the head. That should encourage it to separate from the head. This is probably all you have to do, since this is common especially with teens. You just haven't 'used' it enough, as in masturbation and washing it. The same goes for sensitivity; the more your rub it the less sensitive it'll get (start using water when you shower then rub a little more each day).

And if its rather tight, you can get a cream that works in almost 95% of cases. It's 0.05% betamethasone or betamethasone dipropionate. And unlike circumcision it is very cheap ($12 in the USA), painless, and you don't risk decreasing sensitivity/pleasure and making masturbation more difficult.
http://www.scielo.br/scielo.php?pid=S1677-55382005000400012&script=sci_arttext&tlng=en
http://www.drugstore.com/pharmacy/prices/drugprice.asp?ndc=00168005546&trx=1Z5006

Try that cream. It works. Doctors often just mention circumcision since its a surgery that brings a lot of money to them, especially in the USA.

If you have questions, e-mail me from my profile since I've gone through this. I'll be happy to answer any questions.

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And here are circumcision's risks before you go through it:

Circumcision = loss of sensitivity according to new study
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,285532,00.html
http://www.circumstitions.com/Sexuality.html#sorrells

Higher erectile dysfunction rates after circumcision:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=14979200&dopt=Abstract%7C

When women didn't know what penis they were dealing with (circumcised or uncircumcised) 9 out of 10 preferred uncircumcised (study).
http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/408/60750.html

Foreskin anatomy and function (keeps the glans soft and protects it, etc).
http://www.cirp.org/pages/anat/

Circumcision is extremely painful.
http://www.cirp.org/library/procedure/plastibell/

The USA is the last advanced nation doing it, but rates have fallen down from over 90% in the 1960s to as low as 21% here in California currently. From CNN:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/06/18/circumcision.decline.ap/index.html
http://www.cirp.org/library/statistics/USA/staterates2004/

Circumcision was actually promoted in the USA at first to stop masturbation (in hopes of it being tight enough to require lubes and not have skin to slide since the foreskin is already moist)
http://english.pravda.ru/science/health/27-03-2006/77873-circumcision-0

USA = highest HIV rates in advanced nations (and highest circumcision rates). CIA statistics:
https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/rankorder/2155rank.html

And one study already trashed the claims of the study that said that circumcision reduces HIV.
http://www.plosone.org/article/fetchArticle.action?articleURI=info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0000543

Worldwide circumcision rates:
http://www.circumstitions.com/Maps.html

And discussion of common circumcision benefit myths and discussion of all the risks that can develop over time and negative side effects (buried penis, meatal stenosis, etc):
http://forums.govteen.com/showpost.php?p=3069995&postcount=2

Answer 2

Ok, you sound like you're in a similar situation to the one I was in recently. Firstly, how much does your girlfriend already know about how things work down there? Will she expect your foreskin to go back? If she does, make sure to tell her before she finds out on her own else she might freak out (yes, that happened to me).

If you can masturbate properly without pain or discomfort while fully erect, there's no reason you can't have sex. Just use a condom and put it on over your foreskin. It won't hurt. It doesn't for me and I never got circumcised. It's not "normal" but it works :)

Circumcision isn't the only solution. Try stretching excercises, or talk to your doctor about other alternatives. Going to the doctor about this problem was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it's best to get a proper opinion.

If your girlfriend wants to have sex with you then you should (hopefully) be at the stage in your relationship when you can talk about things with her, so try talking about it. You'll feel better once everything is out in the open.

Answer 3

couple of things here. 1. maybe you should wait a while to have sex till you are older. 2. if a girl cant love you just because you have a medical condition then she doesn't love you. 3. you should try to stretch the foreskin back a little more each day. can you pull it back at all? have you been pulling it back to clean under the foreskin? if you cant pull it back after a long time you may need to go to the doctor to get some cream to help you stretch the skin,. YOU DO NOT NEED TO GET CIRCUMCISED. phimosis can be treated without cutting the most sensitive part of you penis skin of. check out the links below and I hope they help you. PS. I'm a 35 yo male with a natural uncircumcised penis and I have never had any trouble with my foreskin being dirty or getting infected.

Answer 4

circumcision is NOT the answer to phimosis, it is the last resort. LOTS of other options for correcting this. not sure that it would hinder you in having sex in the first place. Visit with your doctor about methods to correct this. if he wants to circumcise you right to start with, find another doctor. meanwhile, tell your girlfriend what is going on. If she is worth keeping around, she will understand and be patient. If she doesn't understand, dump her and find yourself a good woman. Give it a shot, it may not interfer with your ability at all. Just keep that condom on either way.

Answer 5

How bad is the phimosis? As in you really think you won't be able to have sex, or you're just scared? (Maybe you should wait. You're still young.)

Circumcision shouldn't be necessary except as a last resort, and yes of course it hurts. If you're very concerned see your doctor and they should have some other treatments in mind instead of circumcision.

Answer 6

You have no real problem yet, what I did is a daily genital stretching period of the foreskin. I used a bit of lotion to lossen thing up a bit and make things a little less painful. after doing this after a period of two weeks, i was able to see the tip of my actual penis. a continued practice of this i was able to fully expose my head and now I'm able to get the actual pleasure of sex/masturbation

The daily periods should last up to 15-30 minutes, depending on how much time you have

Answer 7

of course the doctor would sedate you during the procedure. In grown men it is a bit more complicated than it is for babies. If you want to be circumcized just see your doctor.

Answer 8

dude go to a doctor...they DO have treatments for this and they will make u sleep if u really wanna

Answer 9

whats phimosis..and why cant u have sex...why do you need circumsized...you'll be ok if you get circumsized as its the 21st century dude

Answer 10

if ur gf loves u sh wont care if ur circumsized or not it don really matter much