I have been taking care of my almost one year old daughter by myself since she's been born..?

Question

After 8 months her dad finally started paying child support but he still don't came to see her or call to check on her. Recently I found out that he was going behind my back to file for visitation rights. Even though I always give him oppertunities to come see her. She doesn't really know him and we got an a argument and he said he was going to take her from me. What rights does he have if his name is not on her birth certificate. He has way more money than I do and said that he has a lawyer. I'm afraid that he's going to take her and I don't know what I should do I can't afford a lawyer. Any advice would be helpful.

Thanks to everyone for all of your advice I really appreciate it..I did not mention that he lives with his girlfriend and takes care of her son. I live Pa and it's a commonwealth state and a state that really helps women and kids. He only pays child support because the take it out of his check. Before I started recieving it I was working and taking care of he by myself. He has only given me 150.00 since my daughter was born, and bought her some christmas presents. She calls his father dada because thats who she always see and dosen't call him anything. Sometimes his own family had to call him and tell him to come see her. I try to take the best care of her that I can.

Answer 1

Meet in a neutral place. (Not your home.) and let the baby acclimate to him. Decide how frequently this will happen.

Consider discussing a shared parenting plan with him as every other weekend does not really serve a baby's needs. Babies need constant interaction or things become unfamiliar again.

What days stress you out? Consider having Daddy take the baby on, say, Wednesday and Thursdays, or whenever you're having the most stress.

You've been doing this on your own for a year. He has no right to ask for visitation now. But he did, and it is good that her daddy wants to participate in her life.

You know you need to sleep and catch up, and if you did you'd be 100% better Mommy. Babies require two parents.

Try to see it all objectively. Take a look at what days work best to rotate where baby is living. You can use his desire to be with his daughter to benefit you and the baby, or you can just keep plowing through.

Answer 2

I went through something similar a few years ago. My advice is to file for sole physical custody immediately. You and your child will be assigned a law guardian who is very helpful about answering some of the questions you asked, since parental rights vary from state to state. The law guardian is there to assist you in any way possible and I took full advantage of that and ran many different scenarios by her during my court process. Once you get sole physical custody, all decision reguarding the child are yours alone. The court very well may give the father visitation rights, but most judges will take into account the fact that this child doesn't know him and start out very slow while you are present. I just want you to know that no matter what this man says, NO ONE can take your child from you until you have been proven an unfit mother, and I am sure that you are a wonderful mom. I would love to talk to you some more and if I can be of any help, please let me know . Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

He'll have to prove you to be unfit....I wouldn't worry too much.
Threats are cheap mind-games to a lonely vulnerable female.
The guy is an ahole for acting that way.
Just tell the judge and the court the same things you said here about his "Real Lack Of Interest".
If he is paying support he does have visitation rights more than likely. I don't know really any man that would want to take such a small child "away" from any woman. It's just mind-game BS he is using to upset and intimidate you because of child support. Some men do this kind of BS to former spouses, and the BS goes on and on and on......
A real man pays his support and moves on with his life.
It takes two to make a baby....he was there...tough sh**.
The child has a right to be supported unconditionally, it didn't ask to be here under the bad circumstances.
Be strong, and seek help and guidance if this thing starts unfolding. There is legal help available most places if you cannot afford it. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Well, it depends on a lot of factors. Different states have different rules. You do really need to consult a lawyer. Birth certificate listing does not really mean much if he asks for paternity tests, or if a judge asks for them. But, usually that is only used if there is a dispute over paternity, which there does not seam to be.Paying child support is his responsibility no matter if he has her or not. Most courts just do not give a baby to their fathe becuase he has more money, especially if he has had no relationship with her. Do not arguewith him. Do not even talk to him. Tell him he can speak to your lawyer through his and you will get messeges. You need to set up a child support and visitation order in the court and it would be to your benefit if you were to be the one to file it, even if you do it with only a free legal assitant through the courts. I am wondering if you have any ohter assistance? Did he just start paying because you are on public assistance adn they pressured him, or did a family member confront him or what? It always seams that the irresponsible parent in any situation is also the one that is the first to scream about custody when they are made to pay and be financially involved. Stand your ground. He sounds like he is full of it, mostly. I would like to know more details, myself. O^O

Answer 5

GET A GOOD ATTORNEY. He's just blowing off steam. Unless you are in and out of serious trouble, he can't touch you. He can get vists if he's half way ok...

Most dad's who have never seen their child (in this same place 10 years ago) will have to have a "get to know you time". Usually it's a month to 4 months supervised by a family member or even the police department. Good news is, he'll be more likely to pay the money.

Besides, he probably just want's something for his money, he'll get bored and move on soon enough.

Answer 6

If he is her father he has alot of rights whether his name is on the birth certificate or not. He can fight for visitation with her... if he wants he can ask for 50% of her time.

Good thing is that unless you are abusive, a prostitute, a drug addict, or neglectful you have a good chance of not losing her to him. Though he can still go for that 50% of time with her, in which case you would share custody equally and he would likely pay little or no support since he is providing half her care.

You may want to start checking around for a lawyer that will take payments or work at a lower rate for you. If he has one you are going to need one and the courts will not supply one for you.

Answer 7

depends where you live but in most western countries the rights of the child come first.

If the child is in good general health and being well cared for then frankly no amount of money is going to persuade any judge that he is a better parent......especially if he has a record of non-payment. The fact that he has started paying and not visiting indicates he is more concerned for his own emotional wellbeing than his daughter's. Conscience money comes to mind.

Dont stress yourself out over this. Enjoy your daughter and concentrate on being mum.

Answer 8

Sorry to say that the father doesn't have any rights without his name on the birth cert...but if he is indeed the father...thru DNA...he can get the child for equal or very close to equal time.....
He won't take her unless you have a drug or other problem...then he could....
Whatever you do, and I hope other women are reading this too...Be cooperative in court....it justs costs both of you alot of money for arguements....and you don't need to do it....hold your tongue...Please!
Even if the court lets him have the child only a small amount of time...be the adult, and let him have more time than the court allows...if he is an adult...he will rise up to your good deeds..and do nice things for you too.....Get along with the father.....regardless how much he did bad things to you....or if you both don't get along....rise pass that, and grow up!

Answer 9

If he is paying child support, he has a right to see her. Where the problem will be is when he is married or has a girlfriend. You will need to pack up your daughter and give her to them for the weekend or whatever his visitation rights are by law. Be nice to him. If you argue and fight with him, he may just try to get full custody and then YOU will be paying HIM child support.

Answer 10

it does not matter if his name is on the birth certificate, what matters is if he is actually the child's biological father, he can and should request a paternity test. he does have visitation rights, but he is also legally responsible to pay child support. This could actually work out for the best for all concerned. talk to someone at legal aid.