Im in a summer internship in Iowa and I had this friend from Italy which I was close to at the last week of her internship.
Problem is that she like a guy that was hitting on me. I always ignored him,he would tell me he loves me etc. But my friend didnt ignore him,she got to REALLY like him. My best friend and I saw bad intentions in that guy's eyes,but we didnt get involved in it. At the end of the program he hits on both of us at the same time so I decide to talk to her even if I didnt know her. She got crushed and now she is back in Italy. Apparently the guy sends her love letters,tells her he missed her and loves her while hes been sleeping eight different girls in here and he is hitting on me again.
She just found out about this and she just told me she believed in him and they had sex.she is extremely hurt and wants to pay back.
I don't know what to tell her,cause I believe she does need to do something,the guy is an **
Thing is I dont' know if I should take "justice" in my hands
2007-07-21 08:55:41 · 14 answers · asked by kittycatkitty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
send some Jehovah's witnesses to his house.
2007-07-21 08:58:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dear Kitty,
This young man is becoming a problem for more people than he should be allowed to be. If you feel that the head of the internship program is a truly concerned person, I would confide in him/her. If not that person, how about your particular adviser? There is not much that your friend in Italy can do from there, but there is a lot that you can do to get this young man either removed from this program, or at least disciplined for his horrible and callous behavior.
In the meantime, keep your distance from him. Any man who uses women in this fashion is a small step away from becoming a violent abuser. You don't want to be on the receiving end of that!!
Hugs, hon, sorry your great opportunity has had a really down and dirty side to it. Good luck.
2007-07-21 16:16:39 · answer #2 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither you nor your friend should take "justice" into your hands. The reason is that revenge does not equal justice, and revenge is not called for in this situation.
There is nothing between your friend and this guy - no commitment, no engagement. She doesn't owe him physical fidelity, and he doesn't owe it to her. What he's doing may not be admirable, but he's within his rights. Until the day that a person gets engaged to be married, he/she is allowed to play the field.
You and your friend should move on. Take with you what you've learned from this episode: many young men sleep around. Sometimes, to get a girl to bed, they say (or write) what they think she wants to hear. That too may not be admirable, but it's a fact of this sad life. Sorry about that. Hey, though, if nobody involved ended up with an infection or pregnant, there's no harm done, and you and your friend are now better equipped to recognize a player when you meet one.
2007-07-21 16:06:42 · answer #3 · answered by silver.graph 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If there is a specific group of women that he goes for, at the same school, or workplace, try a bulletin board announcement with his picture on it and a "Beware, JERK on campus" or something like that detailing what he does and to how many. It may give a clue to those others he is hurting. And it should cut off his prospects for the future from that group anyway. Then mail him a copy of it. Post it everywhere that he goes. It's not as much revenge as it is trying to ensure he doesn't hurt someone else.
2007-07-21 16:03:22 · answer #4 · answered by Linda K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest encouraging the girl to cut off all contact with him. If you know the other girls and they are in similar situations as this girl then tell them too. He is a big jerk for using all these girls but you can't save people from themselves. He will get his jollies as long as he gets attention. Other than telling the girls the truth and encouraging them to ignore him, I don't think anything else would be appropriate or just.
2007-07-21 16:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by mrs. lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many women don't want to believe that their man would cheat on them.
What I used to actually do for a living was to get proof on videotape that the person was cheating, give the tape to the person being cheated on, then walk away. I called it "video justice". I loved my job. It was extremely rewarding to catch a liar and cheat. To be paid to do it was an added bonus.
Women cheat too. I have caught a few of them as well.
2007-07-21 16:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
meow kittycatkitty, fet fet. Should you take justice in your own hands? I think so. If he is hurting everyone you work with then he is unproductive to the work place. Do all eight women know about each other? If not they should. And if they do know about each other why do they keep sleeping with him? He must be hot and a smooth talker. I say go for it as long as it doesn't endanger you or others. Have fun :)
2007-07-21 16:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by Dan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not going to believe me,and you'll think I'm recommending this for his benefit out of some "guy" loyalty thing, but you both should just let it go for your own benefits. Plotting revenge gives him a prominence within your thoughts that he doesn't deserve and it prolongs the time necessary for you both to heal...the sooner he's forgotten the better.
2007-07-21 16:09:13 · answer #8 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not your concern. Yeah, the guy is a jerk - so tell him off in public and drop him from your life. You can warn other women you know about him, but that's the extent of appropriate behavior.
People make their bed and they lie in it. And, people can go to hell in a handbasket. Revenge is a very bad idea.
2007-07-21 16:00:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your hands clean, what goes around does come around. If you do something bad its a reflection on you, same for your friend, so stay good and good things will come your way - as far as the jerk, all his dirty deeds will come back to him also.
2007-07-21 16:04:34 · answer #10 · answered by Sweetness 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋