Please edit this sentence - comma before "or", do I need the word "why"?

Question

Are you not wanting a friendship with your cousin because you have nothing in common, or is it because there is nothing you want to pursue?
Do i need a comma before or? also do i need the word why? also the word want before to pursue does that need to be changed to "wanting" to agree with the first wanting at the beginning of the sentence? Please reply if you know for sure, thanks

Answer 1

Yes, you need the comma. You don't need "why."

I would change "want" to "wish."

The word "want" in the second half of the sentence would refer to the future, while "wanting" refers to the present.

Answer 2

It should be: Are you not wanting a friendship with your cousin because you have nothing in common, or is it because there is nothing you are wanting to pursue?
The reason for the comma before or is that you are joining 2 independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction. The you are wanting to pursue in the second part is to keep parallel construction.

Answer 3

Do you want a friendship with your cousin even though you have nothing in common, or is it ...