Tank Argument???

Question

Hi,
Me and my stepmom have been regulary getting in a debate about a fish tank. It is a 29 gallon tank given to us after her dad she didn't have a close relationship but I did passed away. At first she was protective of it and had to choose all the fish she wanted, even though I new the tank was overcrowded; she just wouldn't listen. Then after all the fish died, she had been calling the tank mine and I remodeled it with a natural riverbank layout and it now houses 3 fantail goldfish who have a 55 gallon filter. I have used my allowance/birthday/baby sitting money to buy the gravel, fish, plants, found the rocks and glued them together for caves, medicine, filter cartidges, and basically everything else the tank needed except for the light and filter we got close to a year ago. I am the one who cleans the tank, gives medication, feeds, etc. Anyways, lately we ahve been argueing over putting stuff on top of the tank. She runs a daycare and puts daycare socks, wipes, baby bottles, and o

open beverage bottles on the top and at first I told her a didn't want anything on top of my tank. Well then she said it was hers and can do whatever she wants to it. So finally I compromised to closed bottles and the tissue boxes, but she jsut wont listen and the counter is only a foot away! I have calmly told her why I don't want anything up there, that if it spills my fish would most likely get sick or dies, and I would have to start over again. She just doesn't care and tells me it won't happen. Then lately I have found out that kids stick their hands int he tank and put stuff in it!
So any ideas on how to get her to reason wioth me ould be very helpful!!!
Thanks!!!!

I do remove the stuff when I see it there. the only problem is I am at a different house for 3 days of the summer week and 5 days of the school year. I was thinking of buying another 29 or a 30 gallon for the living room on craigslist, then put the other in my room. That way I could say it is mine. Don't get me wrong, my step mom is usually pretty nice, but she thinks I am to overprotective with my animals and I am going to kill my fish by testing the water weekly, adjusting it, and medicating the fish.

I would have put it in the family section, but I am assuming people in that section wouldn't care about the fish, hence why I put it in the fish section

Answer 1

Blue,

It doesn't sound like this is about the tank at all, it's about your relationship with your step mom and the respect ( of lack of) you have for each other. That's a very hard subject for you to talk to her about, but one that you need to resolve before it gets out of hand. Try taking this problem to a counselor or minister and see if you can get some answers as to how to help the problem.

As for the more practical side, you have asked her and informed her of the dangers to your property and the living fish you have in your care. If she chooses to disregard your wishes and doesn't care about the health of the fish, there is nothing you can do. I know it's very frustrating to feel so powerless to protect what is yours and those fish that need your protection, but fighting and arguing will not solve the problem where reason and logic have failed.

Try talking to your dad about it and asking him to take you to speak to a counselor or minister about it. Otherwise, call your minister or a local church and ask to talk the the minister on the phone. Explain you can't come in but you want and need advice and no doubt they will help you over the phone.

Best of luck and best wishes

MM

Answer 2

Keeping those thing on the fish tank is very risky. If any wipes were to fall into the tank, you would be risking everything in it. Tell your stepmom that you put all the effort and money into the tank, now it is time for her to put some effort and money into getting a shelf. Make sure you talk this over with your dad first, he will probably stick up for you. That lady is a dumba$$. That is ridiculous that she won't take the 3 seconds to close beverages and allows kids to stick their hands and stuff in it. Tell her you are moving it to your room. Don't say, "I want to move it to my room," just tell her flat out, "I am moving the tank to my room." The only problem with that is moving a largish tank. Do it step by step. Get the fish and the filter into a large bucket, drain the water, move the tank (if you can't move it by yourself, have a friend help you), fill the tank back up (with the same water preferably) and add the fish back (in your room). Of course, all this would have to be done when your stepmom isn't home. (Maybe a long groccery run?) Sorry to hear you're getting the Cinderella treatment.

Nosoop4u

Answer 3

Hi Blueplaty, The first consideration of your Stepmom here should be the welfare of the living creatures you both share your home with & putting anything on top of a fish tank is not to be recommended, especially things which contain fluids & denying it is a potential hazard is completely irresponsible of her-how would she react if your did anything to endanger the lives of her kids?

If she is a reasonable person she will see the error of her ways & store her stuff some place that it is not a risk to your fishes lives. She needs to face up to her responsibilities & belittling you for your your excellent care regime is nothing short of ignorant yet I bet she would be offended if you disrespected her & told her how to take care of her kids.

Regarding small hands getting into the tank you & your Stepmom should stress that this may hurt not only the fish but the children as well-putting their hands in the top of a tank with it's electrics is as dangerous as putting them in your VCR! This is only acceptable behaviour when they are being supervised for instance when helping you clean or during feeding times. I hope you can all work it out & well done for caring about your fish.

Answer 4

You could probably move the tank into your room, and I don't think it's good to put stuff over the tank. I'm not sure how to resolve your argument with your step-mom. I'm really sorry, but I hope moving the tank will help a bit. What you're doing is right, however, and you have to somehow negotiate with your mom and prove that you are taking care of your fish the right way.

Answer 5

reasoning with parents is very hard, actually nearly impossible. i know the feeling. anyway i guess what you could do is make a trip to home depot and make some sort of plexi glass cover that you could put over the tank to minimize the possibility of things spilling in or kids sticking thier hands in the tank. they do make hoods but will be more expensive than just making it yourself. As long as the tank is staying at the right temp and you have airation in the tank the cover should be fine. Other than that you seem to be in a tight spot cause parents are hard to compromise with. good luck and hope it all works out.

Answer 6

umm it isnt really a fish question but i will be glad to help.

Its more of an ethics question.


But your right, you never want anything spilling into the aquarium, but their isnt really a problem if the bottlesare closed.

As for the little kids, just add a piece of tap on the cover to hold it inplace.

But from a fishkeepers standpoint, their isnt really a problem with things on the cover. i have soup containers, towels, fish food, nets, water conditioners all on top. But your right, it isnt really good practice for fishkeepers.

But the best thing to do is chill. Theirs no point in fighting over a fish tank. It really isnt worth it.

Answer 7

Here's the thing: You've covered every reason she shouldn't be doing this quite accurately and seem to have a good understanding - there is little for anybody to tell you. Perhaps when enough people here agree fully with this you can show it to her and maybe, maybe, convince her to be respectful about your living creatures.

Would she let you move into your bedroom or something?

If she has called the tank yours, and let you spend your hard earned money on it, and then calls the tank 'hers' when it's convenient, then she is being very unreasonable. I have yet to figure out how to deal with an unreasonable person, because you can't reason with them. All I can say, is good luck.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Move it into a diffrent room. And tape the lid down with tape when the kids come in. And just remove the stuff from the top of the tank when she puts it on top.