We love one another very much and she is there because she does love her husband regardless of what she has done. She wants to be with me but dont want to get a divorce, dont want to lose the home or anything there, what should we do? There has been talk about taking a break from one another to see if that helps the decision making. We are in love and have a great relationship outside of her marriage. She is about 14 yrs older than me also. We do not have sex anymore and barely see one another and yet we so badly want to be together. I dont know what to do but I am looking for advice from all. Some one please help me...
2007-07-21 07:32:49 · 18 answers · asked by terry_j1984 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dude!!! firstly she is married. second, she is married...
if you love her, you MUST respect her thoughts and choices. YES, you two love each other... you MUST respect her family life.
if she doesn't want to leave her marriage, then support her decission. the more you support her decissions the more she will love you. you goal is to stay her friend and support her happiness, with or without you... that's what love is a bout - - - being happy for the one you love, even though that means to let go!!!
dude... love her, respect her, & respect her family...
she loves you, but don't MAKE her decide between you and her family! her family is first. you MUST realize this. i am sure that your friendship is very important to her, so be that great friend to her... then enjoy anything else of her time that she is willing to give to you...
best to you mann!
2007-07-21 07:52:47 · answer #1 · answered by james 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u already have made a decision. being apart is a very good thing atleast that way u know where u both stand,
As for her not wanting a divorce there must be a reason. Does she have kids with this man? Or may be its not that she doesnt love him maybe she just doesnt know who she loves more u or him.
He is her security and her lifestyle, its different to have an affair and different to live with some one.
maybe she feels she is not going to be as secure with u! specially sinc u r so much younger than her.
There is a old saying:
let t go if it comes back its urs,
if it doesnt it never was!
give it time. maybe a few months maybe evn a yr. dont call her let her call u. u seen to love her. she is the one who has to make a decision.
just leave and see wht time brings for u
2007-07-21 07:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, You need to leave that marriage alone until there is no "marriage". Both of you are messing around with a lot of ppls feelings. Love, happiness,sex,intimacy,caring, and all that good stuff about a relationship should be done without fear and hiding around. Have respect for yourself,for her, and the family that she has. She has a family still and you need to respect that. You guys are doing this just because you think yhis is the right things to do all because the "relationship"feels great. NOPE!!! Leave the marriage alone and I don' care how you feel thus far.
2007-07-21 07:54:52 · answer #3 · answered by b dude 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
there's nothing u can do its all on her hun she has to make the decision of who she wants to be with But you might have to give her some time thats a very hard decision to be with the man u married or another guy you have feelings for I mean think about the vows she made to some woman those are very hard to break. Does the hubby know about you? If not maybe some good advice would be for her to sit down and talk to him and explain everything that might also help her make her decision on the way he reacts.
2007-07-21 07:40:29 · answer #4 · answered by Ginger H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very unfortunate that you got yourself involved with a married woman, But can you tell me honestly that you think pursuing her is the best way to handle things. SHE IS MARRIED TO ANOTHER MAN no matter how you feel about things SHE IS MARRIED and breaking every vow she made at the altar. Unless she is willing to end her marriage the two of you will continue in this sinful lifestyle until her husband finds out and wants to kill you. You have to be the adult and do the right thing for both your sakes. Have you thought about how her husband will feel? Put yourself in his shoes that thought could not be good.
2007-07-21 07:49:59 · answer #5 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! You said it yourself, she loves her husband, doesn't want to get a divorce and doesn't want to lose her home or anything there. As disappointing as this may be, sounds like you were being used by someone who wants to have her cake and eat it too. She may be exploring outside her marriage because she feels some kind of void from her husband. You obvioulsy fill a need for her but yet she is not willing to make it permanent. You need to dig up some self respect and realize you deserve someone who can devote themselves to you full time. Best wishes.
2007-07-21 07:51:30 · answer #6 · answered by ThatGirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He thinks he fell for this other woman but he is a very immature guy. Once he lives with this other woman and see her when she is sick and not made up and when he lives with her he will see she also has many faults like everybody else. The other woman will not stay around forever either if he will not leave his wife. When your guy friend who is an immature little P_ick find out all the nuesence of this other woman and see that she is not angel ( non of us are) he will no longer be in love. Currently he is just in love with being in love but he is NOT living with this other woman so all he sees in her is what she is currently allowing him tio see in her- mostly FALSE things because he is not with her every day and he doesnt see her at her worst !
2016-05-19 05:11:34 · answer #7 · answered by laticia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is married, regardless of if she and her husband are having sex, even if she doesn't love him, it is wrong.
To me, either stay in a marriage and make it work, or get out, because it is not fair to either party.
You on the otherhand, if you are not married, should still stay away, and have no contact with her, if she can still see you and have a house to live in, why would she leave.
Without telling her to choose, by having no contact, she will have to come to terms with her marriage and make decisions.
Cheating is wrong - no matter what!
2007-07-21 07:39:20 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ ♥Be Happi♥ ♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is married...you are a home wrecker. Back off completely until she has her final divorce decree. How would you feel if your wife was cheating on you? Karma's gonna come calling and remember not to say "why me" when it does!!!
2007-07-21 07:45:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So whats the problem. She needs attention and affection, but she doesn't want to divorce her husband to get it.
If you love her, you will have to accept this arrangement or move on. Just make the best out of it while you can.
2007-07-21 07:37:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋