If there was no shame, do you think mothers would give their children to their fathers.?

Question

It has been said that the main reason for mothers keeping children is because of the pressure from other women.

Mothers suffer finanial distress in trying to keep kids they cannnot afford.

And mothers account for 77% of all physical abuse to children.

This is a serious question for the serious thinker.

Children are 3 times more likely to be fatally abused in Mother-only Households than in Father-only Households, and 73 times more likely in households where the mother cohabits.

Compared to biological fathers, children are 59 times more likely to be fatally abused by women.

Answer 1

Your right about how some women react towards others who give up their rights to custody. It really is a shame to because some dads would be better suited raising their children.Then there are the mothers who are just plan spiteful and hate their husbands so much that they just plan flat out refuse to let the dad see his kids regardless of what the courts say. Some of the courts are just as bad as the parents. It should always be about the children and nothing else.

Answer 2

I don't see why a woman would feel pressured from other women. You don't have to tell them you have kids, or you could be mature and realize others opinions of you don't really matter.

I think it is difficult for mothers to let children go is probably due to the bond they feel during pregnancy and soon after, it is said that the joy of birth is the greatest out there. It must be really hard to let that new baby go. I have heard that many Mom's who are planning on giving their baby up to adoptive parents they themselves picked out, change their mind at the last minute after seeing their baby for the first time.

The percentage of abuse coming from women is probably due to the fact that women are with the children more then the men, either from being a "stay at home Mom" or because they have custody from divorce, or because Dad is not involved at all. Remember, a man can have a one night stand and never know he may have gotten that woman pregnant, she is the one that has to deal with the potential consequences.

Basically, there will always be unwanted children, there will always be child abuse and all that we can do is try to support programs that are the first line of defense to prevent such things.

Maybe society should take a step back and keep their pants on until they are in a serious relationship, or at least on some form of birth control. I can't believe how many single parents have kids from random sex. What is the world coming to?

Answer 3

I don't know where you got your statistics from. However it really does not matter.

Truth to tell when there is a divorce the judge is the one that decides who would be the better parent. It is not the father or the mother who get to choose. Most judges to assign the children to the mother, unless the father can prove to the judge that she is an unfit mother.

I know many men that would be a better parent than the mother. By the way the mother would not have to raise the kids in financial distress if the father would pay their child support, and alimony.

This is not fair, and balanced. But who says life is fair.

Answer 4

My serious answer is that you have a lot more to think about.

What about maternal love? Any parents love for their children? Its one thing to not be able to afford a child, its much another to not want it. Paternal love included, I cant imagine any father not wanting their child.

Furthermore, mothers do suffer more if the father doesnt remain in the picture. This is all the more reason for women to be pickier about who they have promiscuous sex with... and why marriage is a preference before sex. It guarantees a committed and loyal father. A woman who does the dirty and gets pregnant without regard for the future of their baby deserves the issues that come with that. And the father deserves the costs of financial support... even though I fully agree that a father needs to pay support, all that philosophy does is justify and add ease to promiscuous, immoral women who dont care to have a committed husband. Even from an evolutionary perspective, and humans are not the only species, this is why monogamy has developed... its about the individuals level of investment in their offspring

Answer 5

I cannot imagine giving my child away to anyone.. I carried that life inside me, rejoiced in every kick and wiggle.. watched what I did, ate, etc.. went through 24 hours of agonizing pain (natural) to feel that beautiful angel in my arms.. I did all of the feeding, the loving, the taking care of.. I make 3 times what my now ex husband made so the financial is not there and I love that baby more than life itself, why would I abuse her? No, I fought tooth and nail for sole custody of my angel.. she is my life and my everything..

I agree that some mothers might make that choice.. I have read many on here that I think put their children last in all their decisions and wonder what their children will be like with a mother like that..

But, all in all, I think most Mom's love their children more than anyone else could. It's the nurturer in us.

Answer 6

I obviously can't speak for all mothers but the reason I would not give custody of my child to his father is NOT for shame or spite.
My son is the most important person to me in the whole world and I can't imagine missing him grow up. As it is he is spending most of this month with his dad and I miss the little toot like crazy. Can't wait for July to be over so he can come home.

I would also like to see evidence of the claim that mother's account for 77% of the physical abuse to children. In my experience men have much less patience and are more likely to spank or hit a child.

Answer 7

I don't have any kids by choice and I have been told that I was abnormal. Of course, this came from women with 3 or more kids and were not able to handle their offspring.

I feel that it should be mandatory that every person must attend a parenting class upon the news they are pregnant (this also includes the men).
And I think this training should continue at least once every year until the kid reaches 18.

Answer 8

What shame is there in a father having custody of children? There is no shame in a mother turning over custody of her children in the best interest of the children. Obviously you have a conveluted view of child custody. As far as mother's accounting for 77% of the physical child abuse...show me...where is your proof? And don't give me a website, that is no more proof than the National Enquirer.

Answer 9

I have advised friends that were contemplating divorce that the only concern she should have for the children is who would be the better, more available and willing parent. Dad's are just as capable of being the primary caregiver. A woman/mother should not beat herself up for choosing to leave the family...dad's do it all the time and sometimes not willingly.

Answer 10

yes i would mainly because it's so hard to raise a child to give up everything is hard sometimes i wish it was simple enough to just say here u go see u later but when u carry a child for nine months u become use to to the fact that you r two forever now and 1 just wont be right