My a**hole husband told me that he doesn't care about my feelings last night. I told him that I want an apology and have been ignoring him since 7 pm last night. He doesn't seem to care. How can I get what I want -- an apology -- without giving in by being the first one to talk? Any suggestions?
I seriously didn't do anything to make him be such a jerk. I do EVERTHING for this ungrateful bastard!
2007-07-21 07:04:36 · 20 answers · asked by Jamie HB 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Playing the "silent game" is not the way to get an apology from him.
Fold up shop and let him wash, cook, clean, etc for himself. Only then can you break him of his attitude of being a jerk. Remember only do for yourself. Fix your supper, wash only your clothes, sleep seperately from him, etc.
2007-07-21 07:08:10 · answer #1 · answered by Clueless 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey! I have an a**hole husband too! (I think they all are)
Keep ignoring him. You will both calm down in a few days & can talk calmly about what happened. I would quietly and gently tell him that in order for you to be able to move on in the relationship, you need an apology."
Don't demand one; don't yell. Speaking quietly and gently can heal a lot of wounds, as well as soften someone's heart who is hurt. Anger's roots are: pain, frustration, fear. See beyond the anger & try to figure out what is really hurting him.
I know you didn't do anything to make him be a jerk. Some of them are just born that way; they can't help it.
He can pretend to not care all he wants but the truth is: he does care or he wouldn't be with you. He was angry and said something that he didn't mean. He was frustrated and didn't know what else to say.
My husband and I have both told each other that we don't care about the other ones' feelings, but we both know it's not true.
People say things when they're angry that they don't mean.
I think you know that he really didn't mean it.
Just be patient and wait it out. It will be fine.... I promise.
2007-07-21 07:24:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well from what I can see you have a few problems.
1. You can't "make" someone give you an apology. even if you could it wouldn't be sincere. Do you want an insincere apology?
2. If your way of dealing with problems is the silent treatement, then he isn't going to be inclined to "give in."
3. If you feel that you do everything and his is ungrateful, then you only have yourself to blame.
You teach people how to treat you. If he treats you poorly and your response is immature silent treatment or calling him names, then your relationship has serious probelms. If getting an appology is the most important aspect of your current situation, then you aren't behaving in a healthy way either.
My main sugestions would be:
1.Stop doing "everything" for him. Not in a punitive way. Just in a "I respect myself" and we are supposed to share resposnibilities way.
2. Stop the silent treatment. It is immature and counter productive.
3. If he really doesn't care about your feelings (and this was not just a one off temper tantrum) then you need to move on. A relationship with someone who really doesn't care about you spells unhappiness for you both.
best wishes
2007-07-21 07:13:12 · answer #3 · answered by TelulahB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why aren't you able to take the hint. He outright told you he doesn't care about your feelings yet you're waiting for an apology? Does a ton of bricks have to fall on your head for you to get a clue? Are you really that thick headed?
2007-07-21 07:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he drinking or on drugs??? (sometimes not always) Men change their personality When they do. Was he around friends when he did? That can be another reason he acted like he did to show off to a buddy. Otherwise their is something else going on with him that he is not talking to you about. It could be that there is someone else. He is being selfish to only think of his own feelings. And not yours. Play his game. Let him come to you. Play cold shoulder. Then maybe he realize he is the one that F*CKED UP!
2007-07-21 07:19:35 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Wrinkle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say your husband doesn't care about your feelings, do you care about his?
Your husband is an ******, and you have been ignoring him since 7 pm last night. That makes you an ****** to.
You want your husband to care about your feelings, then you need to read the book "The proper care and feeding of husbands" by Dr Laura Schlessinger.
2007-07-21 07:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, you want tips? Listen up - dont speak to him, dont sit near him but make sure you stay in the same room whenever possible but do something else (like watch tv, read - but look interested in something like he's not even in the same room), try to go to bed before him but shut the bedroom door making it clear he's not invited in, or better still toss him a blanked and pillow before you go to bed. I know you dont want to speak but the odd snide comment works wonders such as "if you dont care about my feelings why should I care about you sleeping on the couch?" etc Good luck hon x
2007-07-21 07:09:48 · answer #7 · answered by Leiani 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
He's probably not going to apologize because for at least a moment, he thought that what he was saying was true. For that moment, he really didn't care. Why should he apologize for telling the truth? Don't hate; reciprocate.
2007-07-21 07:06:51 · answer #8 · answered by Nonexistent 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you feel the need to call him those names then maybe instead of getting an appology you should go for a divorce.
I can't imagine refering to someone I love in those terms. Your life must be a very unhappy one.
Either way, you need counciling for your own behavior. unless you change how you are you can't expect others around you to act any differently.
2007-07-21 07:11:37 · answer #9 · answered by Collette L 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
find out why he doesnt care about your feelings . what did he mean by that ?
Fighting or ignoring him won't get you an apology,but trying to understand and respect one another might make him feel differently.
2007-07-21 07:09:47 · answer #10 · answered by secrethaven45 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋