I have been wth my partner for three years in a monogamous relationship, i don't believe in open relationships at all.Anyway i recently found out that he has a spy program on the computer, i also found every email i have ever sent to, friends, work ect, and has all of my passwords, i have nothing to hidbut find this weird/disturbing...is he obsessed.. should i leave.. by the way he does have adhd and ocd...?
2007-07-21 07:02:29 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yes he was cheated on, and is on medicine for adhd
2007-07-21 07:11:26 · update #1
Also, he was molested, and abused as a kid
2007-07-21 07:17:45 · update #2
I forgot to mention that all the emails were printed out and in a folder
2007-07-21 09:15:24 · update #3
Did someone cheat on him in the past that he's obsessed with making sure you're faithful? Did his parents or people he is close to have infidelity issues? Did he ever cheat in the past, preventing him from trusting others?
I would bring it to his attention and let him know that you love him but the computer program has to go. He needs to trust you just like you trust him. I'd look at therapy for him (maybe you go once or twice for support) to help him overcome his issues.
Obviously he loves you deeply and is afraid to lose you (and afraid of getting his feelings crushed) but you need to help him deal with these issues.
2007-07-21 07:08:36 · answer #1 · answered by Amy M 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, but keep in mind:
1: You are his world!
-A 3 year relationship is a long time.
2: You love him!
- You wouldn't be asking people if you didn't care
3: It could have been loaded on the computer and never used!
4: On line is the new hook up spot! and he has been cheated on before.
-Loving someone is loving them "Flaws and ALL!" trying to understand their viewpoint. Now you need to express your side. He might take the stance that you shouldn't have any thing to hide. If he is worth it, you would have to work through that.
2007-07-21 14:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by Vell g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'd talk to him about it. I don't think the ADHD or the OCD has anything to do with that - but if it concerns you maybe check it out. That stuff is tricky - he might not know it's even there so don't jump to conclusions.
2007-07-21 14:06:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
he has some trust issues obviously, whether or not he has adhd or ocd is impossible to tell just from your description. I suggest that if you don't like what he is doing but you want to maintain the relationship, you confront his behavior and tell him it is unacceptable to you. If he persists, then find another.
2007-07-21 14:06:17 · answer #4 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i know that you dont want to hear this, but you just gotta confront him! and by the way if he has all your passwords, that means that he is going to read this question, right?
2007-07-21 14:10:08 · answer #5 · answered by lonelyfinger 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would confront him and say I want some privacy.
2007-07-21 14:11:38 · answer #6 · answered by startrektosnewenterpriselovethem 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
..Talk to him about it. It means he is either overly suspicious or he doesn't trust you. Partners should trust eachother.
2007-07-21 14:05:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋