Our sex life is not much in our relationship, but i really hate it when i go to give my husband a hug and he just gropes my *** and grabs me. Its not romantic, I tell him he'sgabbing me to hard, he tells me he's not. I tell him i don't like it, and he just replies what else am i suppose to do? I feel like that behavior is just for him and his pleasure, thats how he makes me feel, like it doesn't matter if i like it or not...i'm just suppose to let him do what he wants to do. I feel like he's so disrespectful when it comes to my body. He has told me doesn't feel like i'm attracted to him, he bases this on phycial. What I let him do to me, and what i do to him. I think this is a bunch of crap, and he bases love on the physical. AM I right?
2007-07-21 06:54:49 · 21 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to this old man like he is pretty fond of your butt and although it may be viewed as inappropriate at times it is one way he is trying to show affection towards you. Sorry but I am guilty also of grabbing my ladies behind at times but she knows that I think the world of her rear and so usually doesn't mind. But when she just wants a hug will let me know and I will honour her wish and just give a big hug. If necessary you two may need to seek out professional help from a relationship counsellor as it sounds to me like you both may have issues that need to be worked on. Best of luck to you both.
2007-07-21 07:02:24 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Grabbing any part of your body against your will is a violation of your personal space, even if the person grabbing it is your spouse. My husband is an *** man, and he used to grab my butt when I was walking up the stairs (in our house, so it was not in public). However, I am very jumpy when it comes to people touching me suddenly, so , as weird as it sounds, we set up some boundaries as to when he could grab. Now, unless we are being intimiate, he hugs me first and then grabs my butt so that I know it's coming. Then he get what he wants, and I don't have to be startled by it. Of course, in intimacy, anything goes! Love is NOT based on the physical. In fact, it absolutely cannot be based on that, because a person's looks could change drastically due to an accident, weight loss or gain, an illness, a decision to change one's appearance...all kinds of things. It sounds to me as though the situation with your husband could use some counseling. Perhaps he doesn't even realize how off base he is in showing and receiving affection.
2007-07-21 07:01:05 · answer #2 · answered by conductorbrat 4 · 2⤊ 5⤋
Be glad he wants to grab your butt. My wife doesn't let me grab her butt either. So when I get a hankerin for some butt grabbin, I head down to the local strip club, and grab me a nice handfull of some grade A, prime butt. Hmmmmm.
2007-07-21 07:02:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 5⤋
Well we don't know enough about your relationship to make a judgement here.
On the one hand, he could be just overbearing and selfish.
On the other hand, he might really adore your *ss and you could be a bit of a sexual prude. Not every touch that a man and a woman share have to be "romantic" and warm and fuzzy....I have a man who adores my backside, and lets me know it. I happen to be glad he finds me attractive.
I think you need to REALLY take a long, hard, honest look at yourself and make sure you know which is which.
If he's overbearing and selfish then tell him if he can't respect your wishes about not grabbing your *ss then you won't hug him, and get into some marital therapy to deal with the difference in sexual thought.
If you're being a bit of a prude, learn to appreciate the fact that he appreciates you.
2007-07-21 07:11:33 · answer #4 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Would it be more respectful if he walked 10 steps behind you and bowed and asked for permission to approach your royal highness?
You knew before you got married that he liked to grope your butt. It evidently didn't bother you then. If you think he is groping your butt too hard, in case you hadn't noticed, he has a butt also. Grope him back.
Your are wrong if you think love has nothing to do with the physical. It is both physical and emotional.
2007-07-21 07:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by don n 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I guess he likes your butt, but if you don't like it then he shouldn't do it. I had an ex that would constantly stroke my thigh when we watched a movie or TV and it annoyed the hell out of me. I would tell him to stop it, and he would take his hand off for a minute and then start right back up like a dumb ape. Tell him he will get no more nookie if he keeps it up, and it makes you feel violated.
2007-07-21 07:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by Kate J 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes, you are right.
If the bozo is disrespectful to you and mistreats you, yet still expects you to be attracted to him, my advice would be: The next time he grabs your butt like that. . . . whack him across the face with your hand. Then tell him: "do not EVER do that to me again!"
No self-respecting woman could ever be attracted to a man like this. You are right! It is a bunch of crap.
We teach people how to treat us by what we allow them to get away with. Your instincts are correct; you can trust them. His behavior is unacceptable. Make him stop it. Stand up for yourself.
2007-07-21 07:05:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
I would advise you to just stand up for yourself next time he does it and tell him not to do it again, if he says that he wants to do it and that it's OK? Well then you say, your not going to let him do it again and that it's not OK because you don't like it.
About love being physical, it's not at all, it's what you feel for the person deep inside, not looks. I would tell him how you feel exactly what you think about his answer "that it's a bunch of crap!"
Good luck, I hope I helped!
2007-07-21 07:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by DeniDeni 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋
No your not right. There is something fundamentally wrong with what you have just typed. If he can't touch you, his WIFE, then who the hell do you want him to touch? Physical intimacy is how a husband and wife express affection and love. That is part of what makes romantic relationships different from platonic friendships.
2007-07-21 07:07:24 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
you're a drip.
he appreciates your body and wants to feel it. he's expressing the fact that you still have it and YOU STILL turn him on. your continued pushing him away and getting all pissy when he wants some is going to turn him off to you when you want him and you are going to lose him forever. women turn emotions on and off - especially during menopausal times, but men live for sex and affection, we're easy... we don;t need designer bags or shoes, we don;t need a day at the mall or nails done.. all we want is a juicy steak, a beer and some a s s.
remember this: if a man cannot eat at home, he will go out to eat.
2007-07-21 07:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋