I have told my bf my feelings (no, I know he can't read my mind). I have told him that he needs to call more, that I have been really upset lately (he has been busy at work and hasn't been there), and even talked to him about his obliviousness. I told him that he needs to ask me to hang out on his days off, and he responded that I should assume he wants to see me and just make the plans. I told him "no, you need to make plans, too." I need to feel that he is putting in effort, and that he cares about me, too. We have both been busy with work, and I am being as understanding as possible, but my feelings are starting to get really hurt. I am very confident, and I don't need a guy to reassure me, tell me he cares, or tell me I'm beautiful, but that doesn't mean that I don't ever want to hear it. He's a great bf, and I love him, but I don't know what else to do. This has come up several times in the past, and I have talked to him about it and told him how I feel. What do I do?
2007-07-21 06:17:54 · 7 answers · asked by ami6580 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's a gemini, like me
2007-07-21 06:25:10 · update #1
In general, men are very bad at making plans. Specially when they are so busy at work. You should make most of the plans to do things together. But when you are together, demand all of his attention. This is quality time versus quantity time. If you think this is hard, wait till you get married, have kids and a mortgage....again, learn to make the time you have together Quality Time.
It's hard because your feelings are hurt and sometimes you feel like you are doing all of the work. You do all of the planning now, he will eventually see how much effort you put into making your relationship work, he'll want to help do some planning too. (he may not know how and needs to learn by watching you do it). Good luck. All great relationships require work and attention--but it's all worth it.
2007-07-21 06:27:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay well i completly understand your point of vue, and women should be respected i totally agree. Telling him how you felt was great, conversation is always helpful in a relationship right? but in this case, i don't think he got the message. I understand you love him, but if he doesn't make an effort to call you and to make plans, your waisting your time. Are you happy? ask yourself that question. Maybe you need a break from him. You need to move on. Because every girl wants to be treated like a queen. their are many fish in the see so trust me, that won't be your last one. And everything happens for a reason, so maybe hes just not the right one for you. take a break...keep looking for 'the one'.
2007-07-21 06:29:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ami6580, sorry but guys and girls are wired differently when it comes to things like this. Majority of guys that I know also want their partners to be in charge of making plans and then just following along. But sometimes they do make a nice surprise, usually when they either want something or are looking for either forgiveness or wanting to do something. Ha! But if your relationship is deteriorating as you speak of it then perhaps you should seek out professional advice from a relationship counsellor. Who knows you both may learn something about how to please the other with the help of an open minded non-partial ear. Good luck and happy relationship wishes to you both.
2007-07-21 06:25:04 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of maximum men are oblivious to it. yet in lots of cases whilst i'm distracted via somebody I make no secret of it. i'm a huge flirt. although I do think of which you may lay it out completely sparkling for men now and back so they comprehend it... hey you, i admire you, shall we pass out.. something like that.
2016-12-10 18:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some guy's don't show there feeling but been around you is OK so you can believe that they love you...tell him that the girls loves the man that he speak out of love or they listen to some one else
2007-07-21 06:25:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him lay out the plans each time and say is this cool?
let him know when and where and make sure he knows its definite....have fun...is he aquarius?
2007-07-21 06:22:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
every woman derserves someone who reassures her tells her he cares and tells her she s beautiful!!!!!!!!!! i think it is time to move on.
2007-07-21 06:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋