Sorry to be so direct, but I only want answers from people with children of their own (nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters and friend's kids don't qualify) and have encountered the following situation...
I have been in my town for 2 years, haven't had a lot of time to make friends due to work, raising children, etc. I met another mother through my child's school that I clicked with and we have gotten together with the kids to go out to dinner, shop and go to the park. She is someone who is very nice and is the kind of person I would like to be friends with. The problem - her child is the most poorly behaved obnoxious child I have ever met. I have refused my child getting together with them in public because of the horrific behavior and embarrassment. Plus, this child pushes way beyond even my tolerance level. The mother seems to be completely oblivious and has complained that her family members will not watch her daughter.
2007-07-21 06:00:15 · 11 answers · asked by Mrs. Goddess 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She said to me "I don't understand, ____ is so well behaved and easy to have around". I almost choked. I am inclined to walk away from the whole situation, but I was wondering if anyone has experienced this and has another suggestion where I can maintain this friendship and deal with the behavior issue. Doing things apart from the kids will not work - she is a single mom.
2007-07-21 06:02:11 · update #1
Oh yeah, "ignoring the behavior" or just putting up with it is not an option. This child is not just a little rambunctious - we have been asked to leave a family restaurant over the behavior.
2007-07-21 06:03:42 · update #2
We aren't close friends, just casual friends - she will side with and defend her child no matter what. She is not aware that this child is badly behaved.
2007-07-21 06:05:50 · update #3
She may be a single mom but she has held back on the discipline area. The child has no boundries at home therefore will not know boundries when with other kids. If you don't feel comfortable talking to this friend then you need to break off the friendship or your kids will pick up on their bad habits.
2007-07-21 06:06:09 · answer #1 · answered by mamapoulette 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you know this woman well enough to perhaps give her some parenting tips then this might be wise. Maybe she isn't aware of proper parenting techniques and believes in the way she allows her child to behave. But if you really want to be a friend I'd suggest that you be honest with her and tell her how you feel about her child's behaviour. She may find offense in your opinions but there is always the chance that she may appreciate your honesty and open her eyes to how others view her childs poor behaviour. Also you never know having this child around your child may work out for the good as he may learn how to act more appropriate through your children. Lets just hope that the reverse dosen't happen and your kids pick up bad habits from him. Best of luck.
2007-07-21 06:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truely good friends then you should be able to let her know how you feel. If she is not willing to listen and gets mad at you then maybe you should back off and spend time with someone else....then she will get the point that you feel strongly about her child actions. True friends are always willing to listen to each other....they may not like what you have to say but they will still listen. Pick out a couple specific behaviors that you think her child should change and bring them to her attention....don't just generalize because then she might think that you are "picking" on her child. Maybe bring up a behavior that you had to change about one of your own children and tell her what you did because you knew it was inappropriate. Maybe that will make her feel a little more comfortable about hearing something about her own child. Always relate to how you would feel if you were being told the same thing about your children. A lot of people don't realize their child's actions aren't appropriate until someone else points it out. Good luck....this is not going to be easy
2007-07-21 06:11:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know kids who are 10 or 11 and know how to cook. They were INSTRUCTED and taught how to do so. I would say if the child is old enough to walk and carry a plate safely there should be no reason they cannot make their own plate. Typically one can do this by the age of 10 or so. If it is something hot on the stove possibly a little older, but again, it depends on the child. The 10 year old I know that can cook does so very safely and effectively. All the kids in their house are taught how to be independent at a young age. The brothers (ages 13 and 9) both have "odd jobs" such as mowing and farm work. They save their money and may buy things with it but their parents have to approve of what they purchase. The boys at one time were working at a horse farm to earn riding lessons. They loved it, it was good for them and they got to learn and earn at the same time.
2016-05-19 03:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by erna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there my best friends son was Really bad ,She was my best friend and could not understand why No One wanted to spend time with him,I sat her down and told her she needed to open her eyes he was a monster bullying kids in to every thing, it was like talking to the back of your hand to get him to mind,keep in mind he was 3.I had a small child rocking chair that has seen a lot of kids butts as it was the time out chair she took it wherever she went and when he was bad he went to the pink rocker,Some times moms just need a gentle reminder that kids can some times be a brat
2007-07-21 06:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's beacuse there are problems in her house. but i think that ou should keep your child away from this behavior. children often have the tendency to copy what other children do. your child will most likely try and copy their attitude. don't be too quick to judge, you never know what may be going on in their house or what may be going on to the child. perhaps it's because the mother is single and the child needs a man in their life.
2007-07-21 06:06:27 · answer #6 · answered by der Schmetterling 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she's living in two sets of standards. One at home and one when away from home.
Only time will tell that she more than likely isn't actually the person you would want as a long time friend. Likewise over time, your child will (at times) slowly branch out and act like her child.
2007-07-21 06:08:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm....explain to her that you don't want your child to be around the kind of behavior. It is very hard to do, but remember do the best thing for your child, and it might cost you a friendship.
2007-07-21 06:05:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would telll her that my kid could not play with hers and that you still wanted to be friends well it is kind of like a break up
2007-07-21 06:06:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anna Catherine M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he need attention because his mammy is given it to you and around the house he is OK
2007-07-21 06:13:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋