I'm a grown women in my 30's with a grade school age daughter. My boyfriend (never married, no kids) moved in 2 months ago. He use to help make dinner and clean up and now it seems as if all he does is play video games & play on the computer. When I ask him to help around the house (i work 40+ hours a week as well) his response is "I'm not a robot, i'm tired and I don't like people to have expectations from me". He use to help, he's great with my daughter and makes me laugh but i feel like a servant and I don't see it getting better. Should I ask him to leave?
2007-07-21 05:40:40 · 20 answers · asked by c z 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
that's ur decision
2007-07-21 05:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmmmm, the fact that you had to state that you are a "grown woman" and "all he does is play video games & play on the computer" possibly tells me that:
1. He is a much younger man.
2. You have a complex about your age difference.
3. You are old enough to be his mother and he likes it.
4. He is closer to your daughter's age.
5. He purposely sold you a lie in the beginning about who he is and his intentions.
6. He is a lazy bum who is mooching off an older woman.
If any of the above apply to you and he is not helping on the level that he should, then it sounds like he still has some growing up to do. He has moved out of his mother's home, only to try and create an artificial replacement. You need to tell him to shape up or ship out.
If he doesn't want to do anything while you slave each day, then it's time for him to hit the road. You can struggle and make your own life miserable. You definitely don't need anyone's help for that!
2007-07-21 05:55:38 · answer #2 · answered by Miss M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick his lazy a** out. And please don't let any man move in with you when you aren't married. Get to know someone better next time. Your daughter doesn't need to see that. Have the same morals that you want your daughter to have when she grows up and starts dating. Be an example of how a respectful young lady is supposed to act. No sex outside of marriage; no playing house with some lazy, immature idiot. No playing house with anyone you aren't married to. You don't want to be used & dumped do you? Make sure your future husband is financially responsible, financially secure, and isn't into stupid video games. You don't want to waste your life on some childish dork.
Get rid of him. You don't need him.
2007-07-21 05:52:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well weigh the pros and cons, he does not help with the chores around the house versus great with your daughter and making you laugh.
Men never mature, so him playing games and spending time on the computer probably is normal, but then he may think he is moved back home with mommy who cooks him food and does his laundry and also takes care of his sexual needs. So think about it and weigh it out.
2007-07-21 06:32:17 · answer #4 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are now the proud parents of two kids. Tell him to pack up and get out. You need a man, not a teenager. And why are you living with a guy when you have a daughter at home? What kind of example are you trying to set? "It's okay to sleep with them, just don't marry them."
2007-07-21 05:51:32 · answer #5 · answered by Wendy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well eventhough both of you work it is really the woman's job to keep the house clean and cook. Him helping out all the time was just the "honeymoon experience." Now that he's comfortable he isn't going to do it anymore. Stay with him. He's not doing anything but acting like the majority of all men. It's better that he's at home playing video games rather than out cheating or doing drugs.
2007-07-21 05:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by Lala 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Go with your gut, and kick him to the curb. There are a lot of nice men out there who are willing to help you out and not be a leech. You're not a servant and shouldn't feel like one! Put yourself and your daughter first and get rid of this guy! You don't want your daughter to think that it's ok to be with a guy who treats you like that! Good Luck, despite what you decide I hope you're happy :)
2007-07-21 05:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by retrobaby77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is taking advantage of you. He was helpful at first to make you think he was perfect. Now he is being lazy and expects from you what he says he is against! Next time you clean the dishes, leave the ones he uses on the table and tell him you are not his maid or his mother and he can clean up after himself. If that fails, tell him if he doesn't act his age, you will tell him to leave. If you love him and want to be with him, try a few other approaches first.
2007-07-21 05:46:20 · answer #8 · answered by harleychic 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
he's just using you for a place to stay....get rid of him. Look at it this way, these behaviors are probably the real him....and he's a loser. He's just a boyfriend now, wouldl you want a father with these qualities? He needs to grow up, he's a child. You need a man in your life, that you don't need to direct. Your not his mother, and it will be so tiring on you to do so. Drop him and find a man with worth, goals, and ambition in his life. This guy will just give you extra messes to clean up, and drain you of your finances.
2007-07-21 05:49:45 · answer #9 · answered by ilih2006 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are being used, and you are enabling it. Stop cooking HIS dinner, stop washing HIS clothes, when he asks you where is my dinner or where are my clean clothes...then you say ""I'm not a robot, i'm tired and I don't like people to have expectations from me".
My brother has a wife like your BF, and he just quit enabling her behavior to sit on her butt. He quit washing HER clothes, but he would wash his and his childrens......she got the hint.
2007-07-21 05:47:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, CZs don't put up with carps. I am a CZ too.
You can hire a baby sitter and replace him. All your baby sitter need to do is to make you laugh and be great with your daughter.
B-T-W, how many CZs are out there?
2007-07-21 05:51:21 · answer #11 · answered by littleflower 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋