what do you think of my poem???

Question

I could

I could like you
Because you’re sweet to me
I could hate you
Because you change when other people are around

I could like you
Because you care about me
I could hate you
Because you sometimes ignore me

I could like you
Because of the way you look at me
I could hate you
Because of the days I’ve cried over you

I could like you
Because of the way you talk to me
I could hate you
Because of the time you have hurt me

I could like you
Because you treat me like a queen
I could hate you
Because when you leave I feel like a part of my heart has been ripped out

I could like you
But I don’t
I could hate you
But I don’t
Because I LOVE YOU

Answer 1

I enjoyed your poem. It's really good. But if you want to make it brilliant you have to rearrange every fourth line. Make them rhymed or at least observe the number of sillables: make it equal or next to equal - you may increase 4-th line of each stanza by one sillable leaving intact the last stanza - it is really perfect. Any of these measures would greatly improve the value of your poem.

Answer 2

Your poem is not bad, but you could improve it if you tried paring reasons between the refrains, like: "I could like you because you're sweet to me and you care about me" then "I could hate you because you change when other people are around and sometimes ignore me"

That would make the refrain a little less repetitious and it would allow the refrain to become the lead-in rhyme to your stanzas.

Try it.

Answer 3

Not bad, actually, I liked it. It's so true about many relationships, at least from the females point of view. You have brilliant potential going for you, with a talent all your own.

Luck.

Answer 4

Thats an interesting poem...I feel what your saying. Keep wrirtng.