Well, since then she has remarried.He's always throwing in my face that he's doesn't have any money.Maybe because I don't have any kids but I don't understand why all the financial pressure has to be on him when the other child has a father and plus the mother is remarried.This puts a limit on things that we want to do and should do.With this relationship being so new,I don't know if I want to continue.I don't mean to sound selfish but I want to be happy without all the drama.I'm not bringing drama and I don't want it.I'm the type of women who doesn't mind footing the bill sometimes but I don't want this "I'm Broke" stuff to come up all the time.If you're not ready for a relationship, I feel you shouldn't put yourself out there like that.
2007-07-21 02:20:22 · 22 answers · asked by songtress4life1968 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It would be in your own best interests to move on. This guy is not for you. He has too many "excuses" already why you can't do things together.
2007-07-21 02:26:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to know you can't understand a situation of like that if you have no children. If both are his children in his heart then they are his period. Those children were around before you so don't expect them to take a back seat. There should be plenty of things you guys can do for fun with out spending a lot of money. And if you can't handle this situation then why not just leave it. It's just insane how the "new lover" can have all these expectations to be first above children and all. Get over your self. When there are children and a former wife/husband there will be drama from time to time. It makes no difference she is remarried- so he should not have to or want to spend money on the kids. The divorce was from the mother not the children. You sound to immature for the situation.
2007-07-21 09:38:26 · answer #2 · answered by That's my final answer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is not ready for a relationship. If he can't handle his money that's a problem. Even if she is taking child support he should be making enough to have money left over. You should not foot the bill all the time. Traditionally the man should be paying however in today's times it is usually equal. You pay sometimes he pays other times and if there is drama now and its bothering you now its only get worse as you get more serious. I think you need to really think about whats right for you and then act on it. My personal opinion is that drama that goes on and on will eventually lead to major problems down the road that will end up troubling the relationship and you may end up ending it anyways so I suggest you move on before things get more serious and worse. Good luck!
2007-07-21 10:06:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you divorce spouses, not children. that's the old saying anyway. he can still be there for the other child emotionally but there's no reason for him to be contributing FINANCIALLY since the other child has a father who probably pays child support AND the ex wife is now remarried. it just makes no sense. man, i bet the ex wife sure feels RICH - she's getting money from everywhere! now, as for his own biological child - normally in courts, a ex husband only pays child support until the ex spouse remarries. She's remarried so I don't understand why he's still paying child support.
I have a feeling he's just handing you a line and is just CHEAP. I'd run like the wind honey!! It's one thing to date someone with this much baggage IF he were WONDERFUL, prince charming, etc....but he's got baggage AND he's not even a good catch!!! Run while you can!!
2007-07-21 10:02:27 · answer #4 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not understand that child support is a responsibility not an act of kindness.
Children have needs and they did not chose to be brought into the world, but once they are here they must be taken care of.
If he thinks of another man's child as his own and has made a committment to financially support that child--he is a good man.
He probably is broke. If you can not handle this you need to find someone with less financial committments and no children.
Good luck!
2007-07-21 09:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by mbpowell1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the type of thing which comes with people who have been married before and had kids with previous partners. One element you missed, though, and it's probably the most important: he probably developed a strong relationship with the kids while he was married to their mother. He can't abandon those relationships just because the marriage does not work out. And he can't just support one of them - imagine the message that would send to the kids.
Jigsaw families come with these kinds of issues - which it does not sound like you have an interest in (and which is entirely your right to decide not to have in your life.)
2007-07-21 09:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by banana6464 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's an idiot..either that or he's still supporting her bcuz he still has feelings for her...I mean I get the whole good guy thing bcuz I am one, but she is not only re-married but she also has the birth father who should also take responsibility...in all honesty it just seems like he's trying to stay in her life and be on her good side...for what reasons??..you have to think about it yourself...
2007-07-21 09:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reread your last sentence out loud to yourself, and that's the answer for you.
You are not ready to get into all of this, with a divorced man and another family. If you weren't ready for all of this, don't put yourself out there... find a single dude, no kids.
2007-07-21 10:13:30 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't enjoy just being with him and all you want isfor him to take you out and spend money on you then you should just get out now before he gets hurt.
Why don't you take him out and spend money on him since he's broke and you know it? I think it's wonderful he treats the other child as his own. He sounds like a good man.
2007-07-21 09:28:27 · answer #9 · answered by Bobby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isnt ready !!! He isnt over the other woman, and you should consider that in this relationship.... My ex-sister in law has the same thing going on in her life. Its terrible, she cant function, doesnt have a life, since the new guy keeps telling her they can't afford to go or do things... and thats exactly what is going on with you .....He has to get rid of the old baggage before you can go on..... I care,.. let me know......
2007-07-21 09:27:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When someone shows you who they are.. why don't you believe them.. he's showing you he's a standup guy who takes care of not only his responsibilities, but more than his... If this is not the relationship you want, then move on and let him find someone who does want him... I agree.. if you aren't ready for this relationship, then don't put yourself out there...
2007-07-21 09:27:38 · answer #11 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋