my fiance is still in love with his ex! help me?

Question

Dear All,

It was 2 days before me getting married to my finace when I found out that, not only he still has feelings for his ex but also he is in love with her. He has her pictures still and since I play piano he made me record a song for him that they used to listen to when they were together. eventually I called the wedding of and wanted to leave him with his memorries and go to next step of my life, but he begged me to stay and give him some time. he says that after two month all his memories will be gone and he will be ready just having me in his life. But in the other hand he says that he is PRACTICING love with me (what does it suppose to mean?!) and that he CAN NOT HAVE HIS EX BACK. He says he really likes me and we do not have any serious problems so why AM I trying to make one!
what he had just done made me hate all of our memories together all the kisses all the laughters and all is gone. BUt I surely love him still, So it is confussing. Should I leave him or should I stay and give him one other chance he is begging for. and one more thing. We know eachother from long time ago but it is just 6 month after us getting together. HELP!

Answer 1

You do not need help, you need to dump this guy. How can you even think of marrying him now? You should leave him and forget about his begging. Do you want to settle for being his second choice, the consolation prize. He can't get the one he really wants so he will settle and try to make a life with you. He is practicing to love you? What nonsense is this. Girl if you do not get away from this jerk you will deserve the unhappy life you will have with him, until he leaves you for his ex that is. Run girl Run

Answer 2

You must get away from this man.Both of you need some space.At this time you are his second choice and he would go back to his ex if he could.This is no way to begin a relationship ,especially a marriage.If you keep on seeing each other under these conditions,he will keep on taking you for granted and you will become more and more insecure.You cannot marry this man knowing that you are not the Love of his life.
I wonder what kind of a person he is?Why would he want to marry you when he knows he is in love with some one else.Why doesn't he stay single until he works things out.
The last thing that I am going to say ,and I don't want to be cruel ,is that he does not love you.He loves his ex.

Answer 3

He's deplorable. Thank God you didn't marry him! He tried to divert himself from his ex by using you and leading you on as a means to do it. He'll never get over her nor does he have any intention of doing so. He's hopelessly hooked on her and no amount of time will ever sway him from her. The part about " practicing love with you" is the lowest degrading insult to ever say to someone. It's like you're an inanimate object for experimental purposes; a non-person, a robot, a living breathing human blow up doll! Then to twist it around and make it seem like all this is a problem you're trying to create. Of all the rotten gall ! And he says that he likes you? So you can make music for him to play for her? This just deepens his contempt and loathing of the way he treated you and further shows how worthless and down right cruel he is as a man. He wouldn't know what to like if it came and bit him on his worthless hide.
Lady, no matter how much he begs you, you would be well advised NOT to give him one more second of any more of the precious time that you've wasted on him. He took you to the verge of the alter only to pull the rug out from under you and shatter your life to pieces.
It's too bad you still have feelings for him, but once you clear your head and your reason returns, you'll do what you know you need to do. Namely, move on with your life and leave him just as you intended. No more begging, no more chances, no more nothing! For what he did to you makes him the most despicable self debasing waste of human flesh to walk the face of the earth. When your anger and rage surfaces, the love you still feel will be gone and you'll be grateful to be rid of him like a sickness or plague that needed to be eradicated from your life.

Answer 4

I would leave him and never look back sweetie. He obviously has some issues and the biggest is that he's just not over his ex. That takes time - more than 2 months. Also,do you really want to marry someone who would propose to someone when he KNOWS he's still in love with his ex? Right now, there are THREE people in this r'ship and well...that's just one toooooo many! You can't compete with the ghosts he is holding onto. I would leave and move on with someone you know can and will give you his WHOLE heart.

Answer 5

I don't know why you say you need help. It's obvious what's going on here. The clown wants his cake and eat it too. Do you want to go through a marriage and wonder if he is being faithful? Come on girl. He carries her pictures, wants you to record "their" song. Get real now... before it's too late.
You say you've known each other from before. And you still haven't learned anything?
As far as I'm concerned he's had his chance and blew it.
You may play the piano, but he's playing you.

Answer 6

While he can say that in 2 months that his feelings for her are going to be over, he can not make that guarantee and he should have never assured you that it would be that long. The fact that he still has her pics everywhere tells me that he is nowhere near being over her. For now, it may be better that you and him part ways. You can tell him that once he has healed from the demise of his relationship with his ex that if he still wants to try and make a relationship with you, that he should call you.

Answer 7

Well, if you really do love him, I think you should give him a chance.
Try do not think about anything that has happened and live each day as your first day with him, build it up!
However, if you feel that he is not putting the same efforts to make it work, get a divorce and move really faraway from him!
Try to make it work but don't kill yourself for him!

Answer 8

Honey, is your bed going to be big enough for you and his ex? If you marry this man right now you are going to have to marry her also. He's got excess baggage, and that will never work. Call the wedding off now before you have a triple wedding--him, her, and you! THREESOMES NEVER LAST FOR LONG!!!!

Answer 9

I hate to hear a story like this, and I feel sorry for you.
You deserve a better one.
I cannot believe that there is someone who is still playing around when they've decided to get married already....
May you find your happiness in someone else.

Answer 10

You need to move on. You did the right thing calling off the wedding.