but every one is telling us to wait even is mum anyone have any ideas of how to deal with this, without letting it spoil our special day. thanks
2007-07-20 22:12:43 · 24 answers · asked by Tracey 1b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i was in prison twenty years ago in uk had a mate there whos girl used to visit him she used to bring a friend with her any way he said to me why dont she visit you so a blind date in prison we have now been married 14 years with 3 kids and one on the way and i have not been in trouble since so go for it all the best.
2007-07-20 22:24:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Were you with him before he went into prison or have you met him since? If it's since, then maybe you need to remember that you don't know him in the "real" world - you've had no chance to see each other under normal circumstances and see how the relationship goes.
Maybe if he is innocent his appeal will prove that. Maybe it won't though, and he will spend a lot longer in prison.
Either way, why do you feel the need to rush into this? If he is going to be coming out of prison soon then give yourself the day you deserve, not something rushed and flat in a prison. As someone who is happily married, let me tell you that this day is even more special than you imagine it to be - surely you could hang on a little while and have a truly special wedding day, surrounded by the people you love and who love you in a beautiful setting and with a wonderful honeymoon lined up? If it's the right relationship for you there really is no need to rush into marriage.
And if he isn't proved innocent and has to stay in prison then you can reassess the situation then.
If even his mother is telling you to wait then there's a message there for you.
Good luck, and I hope it all works out for you - I'm sorry I couldn't give you the answer you wanted.
2007-07-21 12:41:29 · answer #2 · answered by pomme_blanche_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to commit to a relationship through marriage which you both should take very seriously. I can see why your mom would want you to wait, after all, this is suppose to be the happiest day of a woman's life aside from having a child. I am trying to understand why you would not want to wait to have family and friends at your wedding and a reception afterward, then go on a honeymoon. Isn't this the traditional way of getting married? Can't you wait and see how the appeal goes? I understand you want to marry, but do you want to celebrate anniversaries knowing you were married in prison? I am very sorry, but I have to agree with your mother and everyone else and advise you to wait. After all, what is the big rush? To make him happy because he is behind bars and not happy? Re-think this, all right?
2007-07-21 05:22:39 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy S 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What a shock; an innocent man in prison. I doubt he wants to get out all of the guilty and dangerous people are walking around the streets because the prisons are full of the Innocent. Being on the outside is just not safe.
2007-07-21 06:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
How do you know he is innocent.. honey 90 percent of people in prison are presumed by them selves to be innocent.. why do you want to marry a man who is in prison? can you give this a little more thinking? found out what he supposedly did.. i would.. what does he has to offer you in there? Men in prison tend to mentally adjust to those walls they dream of the day the would come out and do everything right.. they would get a job go to church mow the lawn have a life.. all of that runs trough their head while they are doing their time.. but you know what? as soon as they see them selves free and out of those walls most of them go back to their lives of crimes.. you would have to take a chance to take this man while he is in there... I married an ex con he was fresh out of prison, he was in there 3 years, but I met him after he got out.. and true he turn to be a good man and we've together 12 years never did went back to prison and he works too damn much.. but that was a chance I took after he got out.. not while he was in there.. I would never gotten in a relationship with him while he was in prison.. let him do his time write to him, visit him, and wait till he shows you the real him.. and that one you will meet when he gets out..just give it some more thinking is my advice. good luck.
2007-07-21 08:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tracey it is irrelevant where you get married it only matters why you get married.If you guys love each other then go for it. Perhaps what people are trying to say to you is to wait until the appeal is over so you can see the outcome.It would be a very difficult start to any marriage if you were separated for a long period of time.If it is good to marry him now it will be just as good if not better after the court appeal.Good luck to you.
2007-07-21 05:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by brian m 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Well honey, let me tell you if his own mother is telling you to wait then you should listen to her. 25 years ago my ex husbands mother told me that her son wasn't responsible enough for marriage and i ignored her and it took my 21 years to realise she was right. Why not for the appeal- if he is found innocent then you can enjoy a real wedding like other folk.
2007-07-21 11:43:59 · answer #7 · answered by Ellie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mum is right...why not wait till he gets out and gets his act together first, because when you get married in jail it's over and done with, they lock him back up and they send you home, theres no honeymoon or wedding breakfast or wedding reception, or guests or photographs or flowers or beautiful wedding gown....wouldn't you like to have a nice wedding outside prison so you can spend you first night as a wife with him, it will hurt you when you have to leave him behind bars, is there any hurry to why you want to marry him in jail? i would wait if i were you, then do some planning, you'll appreciate it more....and you can have your pictures taken in a nice setting instead of bars in the background, please listen to mum and friends, they are right....
2007-07-21 07:34:27 · answer #8 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is there for a violent crime and you have children, would you even take the chance that he was guilty. If you have children don't take that chance. If you don't and it is only you, then don't worry about what anyone says. You are an adult do what you think is best.
For the kids, don't make that kind of decision for them. You might one day regret it.
2007-07-21 06:52:27 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs.Crow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha ha Tracy,What makes you know more about this individual than his own mother.In jail every single inmate is innocent.If you go ahead with this fool hardy move you will be sorry for the rest of your life.
Let me tell you a story about a man who would stay in jail until he turns 65.My goddaughter was married to this man and after years of going in and out of jail she divorced him and remarried.He got out of jail tracked her down and put 4 bullets in her head while his two sons slept in their rooms.
She survived and he was convicted.for three years after he was jailed he kept appealing because he DIDN'T DO IT.You are locked into the same kind of psychopath.walk away NOW.
Why do you think he wants to marry from jail?He needs someone to pay for his collect calls and send him money.
Don't be a fool.He knows he has no chance of being released.
You will be the one to pay for his stay in jail.Something tells me you have a child.well if you go ahead with this your child will pay the price co's every penny you make will end up in jail.
2007-07-21 06:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋