What should I do with my husband ? Please help ...?

Question

He quit his job 2 weeks ago . Since then he refuse to even look for another job - he literally sits on the computer ALL DAY and just plays video games - doesn't help around the house or anything . He has had 3 job offers and turned all 3 down . I have a part time job , do all of the cleaning and cooking , and yet it's like he expects me to go find another job or something . We have about a week or so before our big bills are all due - and are close to losing everything ! He doesn't even care . He says that he will get another job when he is good and ready and tells me to stop nagging him . He's made the most money for the last few years and now it's my turn . We've been married for 8 years now - I don't know what is wrong with him . What should I do - why doesn't he care ?

Answer 1

It's only a break for resting.Don't worry,he will soon restart;talk to him and support him;he needs help from you with love.

Answer 2

I would just go pack my stuff and walk right out the door and find a place of my own.If he had a problem with you only working part time instead of quiting his job then he should have talked to you about how he felt. But his just dumped everything into your lap without warning. I'd tell him that I would be glad to get a full time job but it was never an issue until now and he didn't even talk to me about anything. He just up and quit. His trying to make you the villain here when your the victim. I wouldn't loose what I didn't have to and I don't see where you owe him anything seeing that you did all the house work and worked a part time job. It's not like he came home and find you on the computer all day and the house in a mess is it?

Answer 3

Sounds like his ego has been flushed down the toilet and he can't manage to put it aside and be a man and hustle to get another job, whatever it takes to make sure his family is well taken cared of. You should tell him that he has a choice find another job asap or take control of all the household duties as well as the children, while you take control and make the money. Let him see that you won't let the family down and just give up and veg on the couch all day. You need to let him know he has those two options and that's it, let him think you are a nag, but you will be the one pulling your family out of this funk, since he obviously can't manage it.

Answer 4

I truly hope that you don't have any children involved for one! If you do, God help you! But I would truly tell him that you are afraid not only for your financial situation, but for his well being. Is this his nature or is this just from out of the blue? If this is his nature, then I'd have to tell you to get out now! But if this isn't like him, I'd be just as worried. It is like getting hit broadside!

If this isn't like him, stand by him and care for him. He may be going through something very tough and his drug is the computer. Sometimes the computer can be just as addicting to forget about things for a while. Hopefully he cares but is just lost right now. Tell him that you want to help him through whatever it is he's going through but the only way to do it is to communicate. Tell him that you also need to communicate because your afraid.

Man, it sooo sounds like he just checked out of life...I just hope that doesn't include his life with you. If he refuses to work, then he's unfortunately put you in a bad position. You will have to decide if you want to stay or go. No women should have to support a husband who doesn't do anything and therefore give you know respect. How about respecting the life that you built together. He has choices and so do you. Good luck to you!

Answer 5

If this is a major change in his personality, then it sounds like he needs help. If you are capable of making enough money to pay the bills and save your credit, you may want to do that as a temporary fix until he gets his act together. Stop trying to do it all tho. If you're working, he needs to do the house work. Just stop doing it. Take care of yourself and your kids (if you have any) and leave his mess for him. If you're making the money to pay the bills, you have control. Turn off his Internet access, cable and whatever else he treasures. Just some ideas.

Answer 6

It would be beneficial for you to start living for yourself. I would give him a week to get his act together, tell him you are serious, and if he does not, you will leave. I will tell you what, video game addiction is a serious thing. He is going to have a tough time getting off the computer, and he may not be willing to. At this point, you need to do what is best for you, and that is survive. Don't let him push you around and you have to support him. If you have to get another job, you need to be only supporting yourself. Once he is alone, he will be forced to find other means to live and to do that he will have to get out of his chair.

Answer 7

He sounds like he has lost sight of who he is. Ladies no matter how much we don't want to hear it or don't think it is true, it is ultimately the man's job to work and support the family. It is NOT your job to handle things regardless of how long he has been doing it. If he's done it 8 years, then he needs to do it 8 more years. The bible says a man that does not work does not eat..... Hum?? You think he will get into gear if you stopped feeding him, and washing his clothes. What about the bedroom? What if you stopped giving him that too. Tell him you need to save all of your energy for work, so you can't cook (for him), clean(for him), wash (his) clothes or have sex with him. He'll get tired before you will.
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Answer 8

If the two of u have acquired anything... just sit there with him... you will end up in divorce court,, loosing everything...

and U will end up moving in with a friend or parents... ??

You CAN'T MAKE him go look for a job.. !!!!!

He has lost something,,, his ambitions or love, or self esteem,

u can't not do anything about that for him..... that is up to him...

If u plan on working,, then u will have to start a new life without him... then I say..
support ur self and ur kids.. only...
he can go live with friends or parents...!!!!

Answer 9

Tough situation. He sounds afraid of the world, afraid of himself, afraid of failure, afraid of success. Certainly he knows the two of you can't survive on what you're now making. You don't mention kids. Assuming no kids, do you have the training or skills to make enough to support the two of you in reasonable comfort? If not, ask him what he proposes be done. If you are able to support the two of you and there are no kids to worry about, then why not go to work and do it? Don't forget to tell him he gets to do the cooking and cleaning and shopping and so forth. If you're working, that becomes his job.

Answer 10

Have you ever why does he spend so much time with the computer all day? beside plays video games, he probably has been chatting too. Otherwise, what has stopping him from get up his .... to get a job to help you out.

Answer 11

if i'm not mistaken maybe he's experiencing burnout. He quit his job you say so obviously the problem is there. He maybe just trying to gather himself at the moment and playing video games is one of his coping outlet. if he has a deeper problem you can encourage him to talk to you as his wife. Try to let him feel you'd like to help him if he has a problem. Most men don't want to be told their mistakes they don't want to appear weak. so you may not stressed that to him. I guess he needs your help at the moment to pull him up. When he'll be ok and ready he'll be back to work, he said. Meantime help him to be ok and ready. I know you can because you care...