Is this a normal part of life when you enter adulthood?

Question

My friend told me that as we get older into adulthood, it's harder for men and women to become just strictly close friends. It's not so much of the physical stuff but it's a "way of life" because you want to life your life, enjoy your same-sex friends, have fun and eventually you'll want to settle down with just one person that hopefully will "complete" you and you'll have everything in that person - a lover and a best friend. All your other guy friends won't matter because as you get older, the only person of the opposite sex that matters is your boyfriend/girlfriend. It's hard to be friends with people of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship. You can still have casual friends and have an "aquintance" relationship but for the most part, it becomes more difficult for guys and girls to be CLOSE friends as you get more into adulthood


Is this true??

Answer 1

There is some truth to that, but you generalize too much.
Take me for example.
I am 28 years old. All of my closest friends are men I have known since high school. There are 3 in particular.
With one of them, I never really seem to get to know his girlfriends or he my boyfriends. We've always had an underlying "thing" for each other, so we tend to drift apart when we are in relationships and keep in touch through our other friends. When we are both single we make up for lost time. No matter what I know, 30 years could pass, and he would be there if I needed him and vice versa.
The next one on the list always insists I become friends with his girlfriends. He was married for a while to another friend of ours, throughout the years I drifted away from her and she became jealous of my friendship with her husband. (There was never any reason for her to be jealous, of the 3 guys, he is the only one I know I would not want a romantic relationship with ever. Totally incompatible on that level.) They eventually divorced and ever since he has made a point right at the begining of every relationship to explain who I was to him and that I was not going anywhere and their best bet was to become friends with me too. This largely works. In fact most of his girlfriends eventually start calling me for advice on how to deal with my friend. It's kinda funny now that I'm thinking about it.
The last of the 3. Lately I'm starting to think that we will probably end up together. So all the data on him is skewed right now, lol.
the point is.. yes there is some truth to what you stated in your question. On the other hand, life is messy, dig right in.
True friendships will endure. Good friends are hard to come by, don't cast one away because you are afraid you won't be able to find a way to make it last. It will last or not last despite all your best efforts to manipulate the outcome. Don't worry about it. Old friends are important because they help us to remember who we are. Do your best to be a good friend, it is the best way to ensure you will have good friends.
Take care.

Answer 2

No, this is not true. At least not for healthy adults. Some people become jealous and can ruin good friendships that have existed for years.

This old, and unhealthy concept is promoted by people who think every relationship is a potentially a sexual relationship. This just isn't so. Chemistry between adults is somewhat of a mystery. But it either "is" or "isn't." And the rest is friendship -cherish those.

Answer 3

I don't think it's true. Whether you have great guy friends or girl friends just depends on the personand that doesn't change as you get older. As for adult relationships with the opposite sex, if both partners are secure in the relationship it shouldn't matter whether their partners friends are of the same or opposite sex.

Answer 4

the only way thats true is because your partner would get pissed if they saw you with someone else.