Okay am I wrong?

Question

I get so mad because my husband likes to talk about himself...example where are you from....oh me I am from this town...we moved here because I found better work...not because hello my wife is from this town. He doesnt ever mention me...then today we was suppose to meet up for lunch...so he ended up going out with his ppl he works with instead of meeting up with me and his two daughters...so I had lunch with my 4 and 2 year old daughters waiting for him which later he met up with us. Then he tell me he is going elk hunting and that is about two weeks the he will be gone....but that is not until next year...I said maybe i want a vacation and he tells me that I can take it but I have to take the girls because he isnt taking off just so I can go and do my own thing...which by the way I was just trying to prove a point ...I am not gonna take a vacation without my family, but I dont want to go elk hunting with him and all them guys...no fun..plus that is guy time...amy I wrong for being mad

Oh I am a stay at home mom...

I told him that I was mad that he never mentions me and he goes...I do all the time, but I have heard him and he doesnt. Also on the lunch thing...he said that he told the guys he was gonna met with me and eat but they just got in his truck and said lets go. As far the elk hunting trip...it pisses me off but we didnt fight about it...I told him how it is so conventent to be able to go when I am stuck in the house with almost to no friends and that he is able to go and relax and have his own fun...we take a family vacation but he gets to go and do when he wants.

Answer 1

Well first off, you need to explain to him that you need your time out just as much as he does. If not more. Also I would tell him that the vacation that you were talking about wasn't until he came back from his trip. See how he reacts then. If it's poorly then I would think that your husband is all about himself with little to no regard for his own family.

Answer 2

Sounds like your husband doesn't realize a "stay at home mom" is a job, and every1 needs a break. He's a selfish person. I would make plans to go on VaCa and tell him your taking a babysitter with you so you can go out on the town, see how he likes that. Doesn't mention you in what sense? Did he at least tell you he wounldn't B meeting you for lunch. Sounds like he has it 2 good and doesn't appreciate what you do to keep your family 2gether. Try airing thess felling 2 him w/o yelling. Chances r he won't listen but he can never say that you didn't try or tell him what you were feeling B4 it's 2 late. I would also be more assertive and introduce yourself 1st. Try gaining some kind of independence, that way you don't rely on him so much and he might realize he isn't soooo important. Right now he is that Alpha male, change that, 2 make the 2 of you more equal.

Answer 3

I would tell him that if you guys can afford a 2-week hunting vacation for him, you should be able to afford a family vacation. But because you will have the family you won't be able to afford 2 weeks, so be realistic with him. If he doesn't see this as feasible then he can't go on his trip. My husband wanted to go on a $1000 hunt in Montana but he and I have never been on a real vacation; camping trips and weekends only always with the kids. I told him that if he could afford to save up for that then we could afford to go on a real vacation. He never has gone on that trip. But would go hunting every weekend and for 10 days every year, always leaving me with the kids. So I started going on weekend trips with girlfriends when he could be home with the 2 kids. The first time I went away he was not happy. But he finally got used to it and so I got to have some time away, as well, which made me feel better about his trips over the prior years.

By the way, he didn't think I would say anything when he asked me about the Montana trip because his hunting buddy was with him when he told me about it. Well, guess what, that's when I told him if we couldn't afford a real vacation for the two of us, we certainly couldn't afford a hunting trip.

Answer 4

You are right that the elk hunting is a guy thing. Its some kind of primal "provide meat for the family" thing that is in their genes. It sounds like he has an ego problem but it may be that he talks about himself because he feels inferior to everyone else. Get his attention and tell him how you feel about him never mentioning you.

Answer 5

there has to be balance within the family...and its family first. Argueing about something thats going to happen a year from now is a bit sense less right now...much can change and should...I used to tell my wife when we start taking separate vacations is when the marriage is in trouble...many years later she started taking separate vacations..and I was right. A guy thing is fine...but get your family thing in sooner or later.

Answer 6

Don't get mad. Get even. When he goes on his "self-centered" vacation with the elks, find someone to keep your kids and head to Vegas. Make sure you take a pocket full of his money when you go. Don't tell him you're going. Maybe it's time you give him a taste of how it feels to be blatantly ignored.

Answer 7

No, you are not wrong.
He is selfish and only thinks of himself, and seems to think what he wants is very important, and what you want is not important at all.
I think you can put a stop to all this, but I'm not certain to how.
I think Dr. Phil type advice is what you need.
As a smart woman, you should think about this very hard, and a smart solution will come up. Maybe even someone here can tell you what worked for them.

Answer 8

Probably the dude doesn't know you exist. At the same time you have a need to express your need for your man. You probably need him to throw you on the bed and express all his emotion. Maybe you need to put the girls with your mother and take a vacation cruise. Leave him with his Bud's.

Answer 9

you are never wrong for feeling the way you do. Has the relationship always been this way or has something changed? I would be pretty upset if I had to live in a one-sided relationship.

Answer 10

You have every right to be upset. He seems quite selfish and quite disrespectful of you. Doesn't seem to care about your feelings at all. I think you should start getting friends and talk more to people. Get out and meet others and join groups. He's taking for granted and its only going to get worse. Please take care of yourself.