able to afford it. I gave him plenty of chances to tell me if we couldn't but he never did. This morning we all got ready (we have 2 girls) he drops the bomb & says we can't afford to spend the night but could go for the day. I got upset and said forget it. He hurt me because I feel like he lied or kept something from me. he apologized over and over but I'm still hurt & can't seem to forget. Am I over-reacting...should I not trust him anymore? This is our first big fight.
2007-07-20 17:00:13 · 19 answers · asked by Mrs. H. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't distrust him over this. it's likely it was a mistake on his part.either because he thought you'd be able to afford it or because he had his head buried in the sand but wanted really bad to do this for you.
Talk with him about how you feel about it. Let him give an explanation and talk about how he feels (it sounds like he really wanted to please you by find a way for you to visit family).
You'll do fine. Just talk about what's going on inside your heart & you'll all be ok.
Tonight we celebrated our 21st anniversary & we've been through a lot. We're happier now than ever before.
2007-07-20 17:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by StacieG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very accomodating. That's what he wants. He is becoming an abusive husband, i'm talking by experience. If he mistreat you or the kids, do not cook what he likes, at the hour he wants, and start doing everything as you please. When he demands (he will use the word ask) you to start pleasing him again because he pays the bills (bla bla bla), tell him that you cannot fulfill your "obligations" because he doesnt do his. If he doesnt change in few days-2 weeks, he is abusive. If he changes, then he just was stressed. By changing I mean: staying as a good person FOREVER. IT IS NOT saying: I'm sorry, and after few days-3 weeks getting bad again, that is called a cycle, an abusive cycle. My advice, get a job, put the children in a day care (i know you wont have money anyways...but keep reading) whenever you get a permanent position kick him, claim Head start benefits (day care), if he changes for a long time, go back with him. But DO NOT show him that you are in a weak position, or it will get worst, and he will start cheating and hurting you physically. Maybe you would think i'm exagerating...but my advice will not hurt you, he will. Just try it for few days and you will see what i'm talking about. I've been in 2 abusive relationships already. my best wishes
2016-04-01 04:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust? this has nothing to do with trust. You are over-reacting. What if he thought he would be able to get enough money so you could stay the night, but it didn't work out that way? Now he will never feel as if he can be the man and try and give you the things you want. Sit down with him and ask him why he didn't tell you earlier and then go from their.
2007-07-20 17:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by terrysupreme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to be more communicative and you need to tell him not to drop any more bombs at the last minute. You should have gone anyway to see your family even for the day and talked about it on the way. The 2 of you might have been able to come up with a solution to staying overnight. At least you could have had a nice visit after resolving the issue on the way there. It wasn't very considerate of him to tell you at the last minute.
2007-07-20 17:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i kinda don't think it's anything to hold a grudge over. You might be over analyzing the situation. Maybe he just made a miscalculation in the budget and realized that y'all couldn't go. I mean he's your husband and he's gonna make mistakes but when you are in a marriage you have to learn to accept him for his mistakes and all because that's how a couple makes a perfect team. You are only stronger as a married couple when you two learn to accept each other's faults for what they are and look past them and still love that person regardless. So if you can just forgive him and move on then life would be so much better than staying mad at him and causing conflict for no apparent reason. You miss out on the joys in life when you choose to stay mad at a person.
2007-07-20 17:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure seems like a waste to throw away your marriage and children for one incident. Surely you've disagreed with your husband over something before? You can probably use the same strategies that you have used to reconcile those differences. It seems like the big problem is that you don't understand why he waited to tell you you couldn't afford to stay over until the day. Sometime when tempers are calmer, why don't you ask him that question and listen to what he has to say? I have faith that the two of you can work it out.
2007-07-20 17:05:49 · answer #6 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the way you over reacting about this matter makes me understand why your husband didnt want to tell you that you couldnt go..... you have been together for a while, if that is the only reason why you dont want to trust your husband then its silly. if YOU think you can afford to stay the night then come up with the money/solution for the trip or whatever you need to "afford" then the matter will be resolved.
2007-07-20 17:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by mr b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was this possibly an error in communication? Was he saying "we can go visit period" and you thought "we can go stay the night" or did you two previously discuss clearly "we can go visit and stay the night" and then he changed? Perhaps it was just a misunderstanding... or perhaps he just got another bill in the mail.. Have you asked him why he had a sudden change of plans? And can you not stay with family? Why does the staying the night alter the money situation?
2007-07-20 17:04:34 · answer #8 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's the big deal? He was nice enough to suggest going to see them. A two hour drive back home isn't a big deal.
he apologized.
Men are like that, they worry about money a lot. Be glad you got a husband that will go see your family.
It's not like he said that ya'll couldn't afford to go at all....
lighten up.
2007-07-20 17:05:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are only a few hours away,its not like it would take you all night to get back home.he did not say you couldnt go at all.now your girls are not being able to see their grandparents because you are being selfish.its not an act of keeping it from you,he still wanted to go or he would of said no to the whole trip,gas isnt cheap.you need to weigh this out and see how you are making a big issue out of nothing.
2007-07-20 17:16:57 · answer #10 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋