I'm 19 and my fiance is almost 22 we have been together for 4 years and things were always sooo great! we have a 2 year old son and he is our pride and joy! well as of lately he has been acting so strange. he never wants to talk to me about real things its always just a "that was a good movie huh" and i go to talk about it and he has already moved past that conversation. he rarley wants to have sex its like when i want it he says no or makes excuses and he has been being pretty mean lately. he tells me to shut up ALL the time like if i try to ask him something. if i ask you a question that he doesnt want to answer he just says "shut up im the boss" then other times he is really nice and things feel like old times but its just getting so hard to deal with! i find myself getting depressed because everytime i tell him what im feeling he says he is sorry and he will try to change and a day later it is back to the same old stuff again. PLEASE tell me what the heck is going on! :(
2007-07-20 15:15:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That my dear is a good question. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like he is starting to have "control" issues. You don't want that..not a good thing for you and your child.
I think I would schedule a therapy session with someone who knows about these sort of control issues. Maybe a psychotherapist, clinical psychologist?? Someone who knows how to deal with these sort of things. Tell him/her everything you told us and more. What he is doing is abusive. No, he may not be slapping you around, but he is with his words. Just keep your chin up....and believe in yourself. NEVER let this start hurting your self-worth. That is very hard to get back.
If you are not comfortable with going in to see someone, try calling a 1-800 abuse line and talk to them about his behavior. See what they think. Good luck to you!
2007-07-20 15:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No-one can really give you an accurate answer to
your question as to what is going on, however
your boyfriend can and you need to talk to him di-
rectly and let him know the way you feel and tell
him to tell you what is going on. Since you have a
child togeather it is important that you and him
discuss your problems you are having togeather
and sooner or later if he does have another , you
will find out. If that is the case be strong and think
what is better for you and your son, and if that
means leaving him then that is a decision that you
will have to make. However make sure that he
takes on the share of the responsibility in raising
your child. If you need professional conseling
then suggest he go with you and if he does not
want to , then one thing leading to another should
tell you what is wrong. Just remember be strong,
go ahead with life even if it is without him and
you and your son will have something to live for
even if it is not with him. Good luck.
2007-07-20 15:26:56 · answer #2 · answered by RudiA 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has realized that he is not ready to be married and is dealing with the fact that you both became parents at a very young age.
He may also be considering cheating, or has already cheated, and part of this control and stating he is the boss is coming from the guilt that he is feeling.
You need to be going for couples counseling before you go any further forward in this relationship. Your two year old does not need to be seeing his father disrespecting his mother.
Please get help or do not marry this man. There is something very wrong here. Best of luck to you and your family, put your son first and do what is best for him.
2007-07-20 15:46:45 · answer #3 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he shouldn't be telling you to shutup and secondly, he is not the boss. You share a household with him and a child, therefore you have just as much authority as he does. You need to stand up for yourself and speak what is on your mind. Communication is the most important part of a relationship. If he isn't talking, things are going to go downhill fast. If he doesn't listen to your feelings then I would recommend counseling. If he won't attend counseling, I would pack my things, take the child and leave for a while until he realizes that you are a human being and the mother of his children, therefore you are worthy of receiving his utmost respect. These situations are never easy and the reasons for this type of behavior are never clear but the bottom line is that you shouldn't have to put up with it. What is all of this teaching your child? You should not only be on the lookout for yourself but also your son, as he is directly affected by this, as well. Please talk to someone (counselor, preacher, etc.) You won't find the answers here on Y!Answers, as this situation calls for more serious help. In the meantime, make sure to find time for friends and treat yourself to something special, as stress can take a toll on your self confidence and overall well-being. Good luck.
2007-07-20 15:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by Desiree 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one will know what is going on. I tend to agree to a point that maybe there is something or someone else but hear this - dont think in the negative at all. Although you think talking to him is what is needed to solve things sometimes its the opposite - it may sound funny but its true. Start taking charge of yourself - dont allow him to talk down to you - but dont be rude and offensive either. Tell him in a very nice way - please dont tell me to shut up again. Start going out a little - look nice and always be nice to him - the minute you stop taking notice of him - he will take notice of you. Hope things work out - good luck
2007-07-20 15:44:49 · answer #5 · answered by jodie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can really tell you what is going on, except perhaps your fiance. He might know. It sounds as though he is having some emotional problems. He may be questioning his relationship with you. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate anyone speaking to me the way you describe. I would certainly expect someone who is supposed to love me and be my family to treat me with kindness and respect. If you cannot talk to him, you might want to try seeing a therapist. You got involved with him when you were extremely young, and he was pretty young too. Have you been able to grow up in this relationship, or are you still relating to each other as children?
2007-07-20 15:22:59 · answer #6 · answered by treebird 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he needs to grow up and he doesn't have the right tools to manage a family a loving and respectful way, he needs to learn that those ways of talking to you are unacceptable. Don't allow him to talk to you, he is not the boss, if he wants to be the man of the house, he should treat you with love and respect.
2007-07-20 20:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by Vegas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, the assumption replace into actually inborn, using fact I even have an same twin sister. It replace into constantly 'us' and not 'me'. On a larger scale, a necessary clue is in Genesis a million the place God says, "enable us to make guy in our photograph, in our likeness." If our writer is greater complicated than basically one guy or woman, then His creation is going to have the assumption of 'us' interwoven into the very fabric of lifestyles. The Christian doctrine of the Trinity places it using fact the single Being of God subsisting in the three persons of the daddy, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and the Bible shows all 3 have been vitally in contact in creation. there is the pre-historic previous 'us'! It additionally is clever as quickly as we attempt to attract close the biblical thought that God is love. If God replace into fully on my own previously any creation began, He would desire to in basic terms love Himself - that's narcissistic. yet while 2 different persons shared His Godhood, then that love replace into endlessly flowing between the three uncreated creators, who're the single God, the single writer of Genesis - the single writer who's 'us'.
2016-10-22 05:16:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're angaged, try going to marriage counseling at your church. (or somewhere else if you don't go to church) you should definately try to work out your problems BEFORE you get married. sounds to me like you guys are young with a lot of pressure going on. also sounds like maybe he's a little resentful of the fact that he's of-age now and his freinds are prob going out partying while he's home changing diapers. not fair, o know, but human nature. counseling could help get to the root of any problems and make him see that his child and you are FAR more special than a night on the town with his buddies! good luck, and at least maybe get some relationship books from the library?
2007-07-20 15:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by kbt76 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He could feel like he's missing out on his youth due to having a child and a fiance. Or he might be cheating on you.
2007-07-20 15:36:47 · answer #10 · answered by i_b_winkn_at_u 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋