my husband and i had split up do to him cheating well he has moved back in and we have been trying to give it another shot but the thing is he is really trying to make it work and i keep talking to other guys on the phone wont clean up the house,cook or anything i don't understand what has made me act like this i used to be the complete opposite and i feel bad for my husband, because he is trying to make things work and i have lost interest i guess so what do you think about this situation?
2007-07-20 15:09:30 · 14 answers · asked by hcj25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Did you ever think maybe you dont feel the same way about him anymore? Maybe because he was cheating on you before made you want to do the same....? The fact that he is trying to make it work means he really cares about you and probably regrets what he did in the past....Have you not forgiven him yet? I think you understand how much he cares.....now....how much do YOU care?...do you even wanna try to make it work?....think about it...
2007-07-20 15:15:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something broke inside you when you two broke up. You probably don't feel the same way about him because he wronged you. You may not trust him anymore. Perhaps you feel that, since he wronged you and you are giving him another chance, he owes you something. Maybe you just don't Love him anymore. Maybe whatever broke cannot be fixed.
You should think long and hard about what is going on. It would be best for you to brake it off permanently NOW than a year from now.
It may hurt, but you cannot help how you feel.
Best of luck.
2007-07-20 15:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by tranquilpsycho 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are being a little passive-aggressive due to the pain and rejection your husband caused you. Maybe it scares you to think that if you love, trust and respect him again, he'll hurt you again. It's much easier to seem like you don't care so that your feelings are protected.
Do you still love your husband? If so, you need to recognize that your feelings are valid, but you need to take a leap of faith. You would not be a fool if started to treat him with respect. You would not be considered a doormat by your true friends. They would recognize that you are a strong person who gives one more chance.
If you really don't want your husband anymore, let him go. Torturing him wont make you feel better.
Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-07-20 15:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by justanotherone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being like that because it is an automatic defense mechanism...and one that makes sense. He deserves every bit of what you're doing. Whether he's truly sorry or not. It isnt hard to not cheat on a spouse...although some people dont get that. It only happens with a shallow, empty person, who has no respect for themselves or the person they "love". Let him cry himself to sleep every night and suffer knowing he betrayed and abused your love.
2007-07-20 15:16:23 · answer #4 · answered by Superscottie16 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know someone who is nearly in your shoes. a friend of the family, a woman who got her husband to admit how he fell asleep at work when he was taking some medication that caused drowsiness. he supervised many younger women, mostly single. when he woke up, his pants were unzipped and a female he supervised was stroking him. long story short, his wife couldn't forgive him for that and they separated. a year passed and they started living together again, but she felt she didn't have to be committed to him anymore. he feels like moving back to living alone again. seems similar to your situation. the couple appears to be swaying between periods of commitment to periods of being uncommitted. commitment really means that each should forgive and forget -- whether they decide to live separately or to live together! Otherwise, they will continue to hurt themselves more and more, and ultimately hurt other people in the process.
2007-07-20 15:45:19 · answer #5 · answered by riverofsouls 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because your afraid he'll do it again and when you look at him all you can see is him with that other chick. I don't blame you but i think you need to divorce him if your gonna treat him like that. You deserve someone who will be faithful to you he took vows before God and you and he broke them i could never trust my husband again if he done that i would still love him but i'd divorce him cause i couldn't go through that pain again!
2007-07-20 16:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by little lou lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you lost interest because he betrayed you so now you don't feel like you should slave, or do anything, because he basically doesn't deserve it, basically it's enough that you gave him a second shot.. give it time, if you still love him and it is rekindled, then begin doing those things again, until then i see NOTHING wrong with holding back.
2007-07-20 15:13:08 · answer #7 · answered by lilchikka2005 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
on an unconscious level,could you be deliberately trying to sabotage your marriage out of anger? maybe trying to get even or piss him off so that he'll have to do all the work in the relationship to earn your trust back?
2007-07-20 15:34:46 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you wish to test him. Make him prove that he will stay even if you don't behave well.
Perhaps you wish to punish him a bit for the pain he caused.
Perhaps you resist giving your whole self to him again as a means of self-protection.
2007-07-20 15:25:03 · answer #9 · answered by mouser 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe deep down inside you want him to suffer as you suffered by his actions.
Hang in there. If you know to do the right thing, then do it.
2007-07-20 15:32:08 · answer #10 · answered by ellen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋