Why do men lie and say they are strong and never cry?

Question

a lot of men i know cry in private and even to family, then there are these guys on yahoo answers saying men are stronger, men dont cry when they do, why do they say that?

if you dont cry your emotions have to come out in some way, so what do they do if they dont cry?

Answer 1

Most men don't cry becuase we program ourselves not to cry when we are hurt, physically or emotionally, but to retain our composure and avoid losing face at all cost. That being said, however, and knowing this as a sociologist, still makes me non-teary. From being a small boy and getting hurt you learn to go crying to mom or your friends would laugh...etc. basically I'm accounting for masculine socialization processes that regardless of education, sensitivity training, or reprogramming I still find it hard to cry..Except, in the ending of "where the red fern grows", the movie 'the champ", and i'll throw in there family matters can provoke a tear but even then rarely. Men internalize pain and suffereing much more than woman. This however can also explain why men are aggressive, stubborn, and to a point wildly independent relative to women becuase they literally 'keep things bottled up". THe communication traits of the sterotypical male and females also come in to play too..

Answer 2

The only man that I've seen crying is my brother when I told him that I'd been molested as a young child, but he was silent, no bawling or anything, just a few tears rolling down his face.

It'd be very hard for men because they can't go and cry in front of other men or women without the fear of being judged in a negative way. Not many men will admit to it and put up a brave front instead.
It's ok to be brave(put up a brave front) but it's also ok to talk to a trusted friend or partner about your feelings instead of bottling it all up. If negative feelings are held in for too long there can be consequences such as mistrust or even suicide.
And suicide of young men is a huge problem in society, there should be more help for this issue.

Answer 3

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There are allowed to cry. The problem is that society is based in male chauvinism, and sometimes even machismo. Even with all the feminist movement, there is still an image in people's mind about men, that they should lead, that they should dominate, that they should always be strong no matter what. Crying is often seen as weakness. This is perhaps because when we cry we express those feelings that make us be at our weakness point, for instance, sadness, or rage, etc. Feelings are seen as weakness because they make us vulnerable. Expressing them (in this case by crying) means admitting those feelings and that vulnerability. In the mind of society, this is unacceptable, because men should be strong. Maybe this practice began as chivalry, men didn't want "the weaker sex", women, to see that their "idols", their leaders were weak, for that could make them "weaker" than they already were. Or maybe this started as a macho contest, to see who was more of a man. But the truth is that in whatever that statement is based, it's false. Feelings are our strength. We wouldn't be humans without them, we'll be mere animals. We have to be in touch with our feelings to be in touch with our humanity, so we can live better lives. We should express those feelings, if you feel like crying, cry. There lies truth strength, in admiting how you feel, dealing with it, and not being afraid of what others might think.

Answer 4

Some men and women aren't lying-they never cry. I've been around some cultures that don't encourage emotional displays of any kind, under any circumstances.

On the other hand, I've been around men and women who are brave enough to show their true feelings and pain.

Some people who've been abused and beaten if they cried or showed pain also have a difficult time showing emotions. I think it can be very difficult to deal with horrible life events if you can't release the pain and grief you feel, but it can be done.

Answer 5

Depends on the reasons of crying. If a guy sat on a tack and began to cry his head of then that's one thing. But if he's crying due to some tragedy that has nothing to do with not being strong.

You can let emotions out by being nice to everyone or yelling your head off in rage when noones around, plenty of other methods.

Answer 6

this issue is a result of socialization. from birth, boy's are taught that "big boys don't cry" and "stay strong". it's just the perception of expected behavior for males in our society. men feel emotion just like women, men just deal with the emotions in a different way. instead of showing sadness, many men choose to show anger, or even laughter. it's not that it is a conscious decision by men to not cry. men are just conditioned not to cry from the very beginning.

Answer 7

Men cant cry in public they know it instincively, because if they do they are despised by males and females alike. But they say even the biggest baddest king pin in any prison can cry himself to sleep at times......its just safer to do it in a 6 foot prison cell after lights out coz lets face it, whos gonna know.

Answer 8

Yes I have seen many men cry for a number of reasons. It is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of courage and strength.

Answer 9

You're absolutely right. Men should go around crying all the time.

Answer 10

Men are liars they put off a macho show but they are really babies. All these guys that kill their wives prove that.