I think I've hit a quarter-life crisis! Please Help!?

Question

I feel like so much of my life has passed me by and I've accomplished nothing that I wanted to accomplish! I'm finishing school, have a "good" job lined up for September.. but I feel like its all wrong... I should be happy but I'm not.

Still don't even know who I am or what I want exactly... I'm confused all the time.

I also feel like I have a bit more responsibility than most twenty-somethings that I know in university - my family is poor so all my money has gone there and its also because of the guilt of that I feel I can't live for myself. Also most people I know in unversity their major worry is paying back loans.. not taking care of a whole family on top of that... and a brother that going to start med school and need money too!

There's so much I hoped to accomplish by now... I haven't traveled (i luv learning bout other cultures), haven't had a serious relationship - worse feels like there is no one that would understand me! Must stop thinking negative... help! :)

Also I think part of the problem is expectations that everyone has for me. In the past I have been an over achiever. I know I can excel at things I really enjoy - my problem is what do I enjoy, how do I find that? Right now I'm just coasting along... I still do well but at times its like I'm sleeping and not motivated.

Hmm... also for the relationship thing.. I think I attract the wrong people - on one end total meat heads with no brains and then on the other brains who aren't attractive to me. I'm called pretty and I'm at times overly nice, somewhat shy and silly.. so perhaps I give off the wrong impression?

Most of the time I'm not this bla.. so I'm letting it out and writing helps. I've gone through a lot in life and in the long run it is true the old challenges have helped to make me a stronger person. But even strong people are weak at times 0 though I don't claim to be strong yet.

Anywho feeling better! Thanks for the feedback and honesty!

Enjoy your weeken

Answer 1

I felt the same exact way just last night! I also am the burden bearer in my family while still putting myself through college. Father left a long time ago so I help financially while being the emotional support for my mother, sister, and nephew (whose father is also gone) I am the leader of two small groups at my church, and everyone around me sees all this potential to lead in greater ways, saying that I'm holding myself back. And I'm stuck wondering. This isn't really what I want.

I never graduated highschool. I dropped out in seventh grade because I hated school. When I was 16 I got superb scores on my GED after studying for only 3 months but everyone else around me has been to an actual highschool and I feel at such a deficeit because of it.

My biggest feeling throughout all this is that if what everyone around me is saying is true, why am I still stuck in this prediciment? Why isn't life eaiser? Why is life simply not fun?
Why can't I just break out and go find my own freedom to be my own person and enjoy life?

So thats how I was feeling last night. Today I did some reading up on my personality type (EsTj) and found that for me personaly, that just equates to stress, nothing more, simple run of the mill stress. So I just spent a few minutes reminding myself how awesome life really, is how much I have to look forward to. A wife, a real career, my first house, greater levels of leadership, and the fact that I have the oppurtunies of these hardships to make me a greater person in the future that alot of my friends are not getting. We have seasons of life that can just be a grind, but others see where we're going even though we can't, so all we can do is trust thier perspective and keep drilling. Also, for me personally being grounded in what I believe about God and His hopes for my future really helps.

Soooo all that to say, wanna get married? :)

-Red

Answer 2

Look, you think you have lived already a quarter of you live, but that is not true, most of that time you have been learning how to live, but the real life is just starting for you. Confusion is good because it allows you to evaluate all possibilities, all your worries show that you are a responsible person who cares about future, that is an advantage.

We all need challenges, that is what makes life interesting, at the end the whole game summarises in finding opportunities and being prepared for them, so check for what are you prepared and go for it with all your soul, if you suceed it would be nice, if not get the experince for the next try. All we need is to feel we are satisfied with what we are.

Sorry for my English I am not a native speaker, so you see, you are meeting another culture already.

Good luck and take care

Answer 3

The glass can always been seen as half-full or half-empty. After three years in the "real world" since graduating uni, my observation is that people who underwent greater responsibility when younger are much more well-rounded and grounded in life. Yeah, they've obviously had more stress and weren't able to be as "carefree" as others. And much more mature. "Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strenthened." (Helen Keller) Your character is being disciplined, and the growing pains may be tough as hell. But you are being shaped into the person you are meant to be, in order for your full potential to shine through.

As much as we complain how hard life is, the truth remains that there are people who are going through much worse than we are-and they're not hard to find. I know it's easier said than done, but how can worrying about your life make it easier to deal with? Your sacrifices will pay off in due time, if not sooner, then later-trust me. All we can do is stay optimistic, and strive to get perspective on life. Surround yourself with positive things/people. And like I have to tell myself constantly-Stop complaining and be grateful for all you have that others don't :) At least you have a family, have had the brains and the chance to go to school, and a good job. Whatever you haven't had that chance to experience when younger, the opportunity will definitely come up later on (I'm speaking from experience here). In order to see our blessings, we actually have to open our eyes to them. Like I heard a speaker once say, there's always a lesson to be learned in everything, whether good or bad. The important thing is that you ask yourself what the lesson is, and that you learn it.

Answer 4

we all have doubts and fears, and can feel overwhelmed by the lack of control of life.

your responsibilities may be a burden at times, but you'll see later in life they also made you stronger, and made you a better person. It's natural to resent burdens, especially as one sees what everyone else is doing; don't beat yourself up over it - give yourself permission to feel your emotions honestly.

And what you have done for your family is an accomplishment; never forget that.

You will get your chance to travel, to love, to live as you want - be patient. Everything you have done thus far is "paying your dues" for long life ahead of you.

Answer 5

I am in the same boat myself, I'm 22 and feel like it is all down hill from now, I feel like I have hardly achieved anything and am freaking out because I feel like life is zooming past at such an incredible rate. I can hardly believe I am in my twenties and am beginning to feel like before I know it I will be in my thirties, then my fourties etc etc. I am sorry that I'm not helping you with your question but thought I would answer because you may be interested to learn that there are others out there facing the same things you are experiencing. Please let me know if you get any good responses that make you feel better because I would like to know myself. Thanks

Answer 6

look up the theorist eric erickson. His whole theory was about different stages of development over a lifespan. The stages are Trust vs. Mistrust=birth to 1yr old, Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt=ages2 to 3, Initiative vs. Guilt=age 4 and 5, Industry vs. Inferiority=age 6 to puberty, Identity vs. Role Confusion=adolescences , Intimacy vs. Isolation=young adulthood, Generativity vs. Stagnation=middle adulthood, and Integrity vs. Despair=late adulthood.


What you are going through is practically normal. Check out Erics work. It can help you look at things a little different.

Answer 7

Ah the quarter life crisis.... the "i should be something, but im not!"stage ...well have no worries because most people feel this way.
A very wise man once told me this; "Not every flower blossoms in the spring."
So how did you go to school and choose a major not knowing yourself? Follow your heart, listen to your mind and let your soul do the work.

Answer 8

Welcome to adult life. Get used to it.... You have entered into another world now and there is no going back. Try to find meaning in it however as mad as it gets. An adult going insane is not a good look.