He works with me. He is very handsome but at least 15 years older than me. he is also married with kids. there is something that happens when we talk. You can really tell there is something going on. Today he kissed me. I just got up and left. He wants us to have an affair.He doesn't want to leave his wife and I don't want to leave my husband. I really like him. I know I love my husband, but I really like this man and would like to go ahead and call him to get together sometime. I feel so guilty when I see my husband. I don't know what to do. Help please!
2007-07-20 14:17:45 · 35 answers · asked by ngbeliever 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What you do is very simple... you tell the new man that you are extremely flattered but you are a married woman and have no interest in pursuing any form of relationship with him. Then you go home to your husband and do the right thing. It is nothing but a passing fancy that is not worth losing your marriage and the respect of your children.
2007-07-20 14:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by yankeegirl 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Did she file for a divorce? If not she will probably be better off to talk to a lawyer. He will have to pay child support and maybe even alimony. At least she will have help for the children. She is better off without him and after everything is done she will be able to rebuild her life. But right now she needs to get professional help. I just hope she doesn't let him come back once the girlfriend finds out how much child support he has to pay and won't have enough to spend on her. My husband had an affair after 2 children and 18 years of marriage.. I called a lawyer , got the house ,kids , child support and 1 year later met a great guy who I have been happily married to for 21 years. I wasn't looking ! It will happen to her someday. Right now she needs to take care of the children and herself. The rest will follow. I hope she does well ! Those kids will need her and she will need them.
2016-04-01 04:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is more at stake than just your feelings on this matter. You're looking to destroy your entire family on a whim, just to try something different? If you're even considering this there is an underlying problem. I think you should assess the situation in it's entirety. Why are you pondering this? Is there something lacking in your relationship, or are you just bored and wouldn't mind trying something different? Do you know how you will feel after you take action (assuming you do) could you live with yourself? If your marriage is disposable, perhaps you are unhappy and ready to move on, if this is the case, your husband deserves a heads up, and an explanation before you decide to be with another man. If it is simply boredom and attraction, why risk all you have invested into your relationship and your family for an affair that will not be nearly as fabulous as you are imagining? I suggest you visit a marriage counselor, and I agree with other posters, you should find a different job if denying him would just be too hard for you.
2007-07-20 15:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by SuperGurl78 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is an affair truly worth ruining your marriage, your children, hurting your husband, and losing your dignity over? Honestly, flings are not worth it and in the end you lose everything. You love your husband then stay true to the vows you have made with him - the vows you promised in front of your family, friends, and God. I understand that you are craving something new - that something you had with your husband when you first met him but those feeling fade and reality sinks in always. Plus, you work with this man. What if your husband finds out and decides to forgive you. You would have to leave your job because of the circumstances. It is not worth it in the end. Take a vacation with your husband - tell him you want more fantasy within your sex life - spice up your marriage - don't ruin it!
2007-07-20 14:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by carissa m 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if your husband cheated w/ a co-worker?? You need to figure out why you are so easily lead a stray from your marriage, something is missing. If this guys wants to have an affair what does that say about his character?? Remember what comes around goes around, is he worth loosing everything for? Not to mention the pain that you two would cause your husband and his wife to go through. It is purely selfish. Don't cheat on your husband.
2007-07-20 15:34:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really loved your husband, this guy wouldn't even be a temptation. You are a grown woman. Act like one and tell him in no uncertain terms that you absolutely want nothing more to do with him. If he continues to harass you, tell your boss and file charges. What happens if you get pregnant with this guy's child? What happens if it turns out you aren't his only on the side honey, and he gives you an STD? Then you'll have to explain to your husband WHY you wanted all of that to happen.
Start looking for work elsewhere, and no more letting any guy kiss you. No flirting, no nothing.
2007-07-20 16:57:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not get involved with this man, especially when the two of you have no intentions of leaving your spouses. You may get in too deep and end up hurt in the end, knowing that he has no intentions of leaving his wife. You'd be cheating on your spouse for no reason, and possibly bring him home an STD. The fact of the matter is that the two of you are wrong. Focus on your marriage, and have that affair only with your husband. Have some respect for yourself!
2007-07-20 15:17:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with a lot of people that finding a different job would be a huge help. Until then, do your best NOT to be alone with this person. The idea may sound appealing, but I would be willing to bet that you would totally regret it after the fact. Not only that you would probably be caught eventually. You might not want to leave your husband, but he would probably leave you if he found out!
2007-07-20 15:18:50 · answer #8 · answered by CC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find another job and give your notice. You have made a commitment to your husband and the children you brought into the world. The truth always has a way of coming out one way or another and if you stick around in this situation, YOU are going to wind up with nobody, not even your kids.
2007-07-20 15:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you really gonna let your lust for this man get the best of you and ruin your marriage. You are already emotionally cheating and in that sense having an emotional affair. I think it is awful and you need to put a stop to it right away. Not only are you ruining your own chances of a marriage and a good life for your kids, but ruining it for him to by continueing to let this go on. You need to tell him no and if you can't seem to control yourself then you need to find another job. I feel sorry for your husband that you are even considering this. I hope he somehow finds out and puts his foot down and makes you feel like crap. I alsol feel sorry for your children.
I can't believe people are actually willing to throw their entire lives and lives of other people away just for sex. Sick!!
2007-07-20 14:28:20 · answer #10 · answered by hsmommy06 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋