My girlfriend of 8 years does not enjoy sex as often as I would like her to, and she is trying to keep us both happy by telling me she is ok with me having sex with another girl- like establishing a sex partner as long as there are no feelings attached. She condones this, but I feel it is cheating- yet she says cheating is a term used to describe an affair or a secret relationship that ends up hurting the significant other. She says I would not be cheating on her, but I think it is cheating and I do not want to do it and have tried discouraging her from the idea. Do you feel it is cheating?
2007-07-20 13:19:54 · 20 answers · asked by andrew 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, it's cheating.
Doesn't matter if she condones it now or not.
Later she will hold it against you in some way.
If she really feels like you can do this and she doesn't care, then ask yourself how much could she possibly love you?
Would you be ok with her having another man?
No because you would get jealous because you care so much for her.
Then you have the problem of what if you like the sexual relationship with the other person more.
Then what?
Just not a good idea at all.
2007-07-20 13:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my partner said that to me, I would think there was something very fishy going on. She is either a very secure woman or a very stupid one. She would have to know that there is a strong possibility that you could get emotionally involved with the woman you chose to have sex with. It would have to be with a woman you found attractive, wouldnt it?....so, I reckon there is more to this than meets the eye. Maybe the relationship has gone stale. Maybe this is her way of telling you that the relationship is over because if I loved my partner, the thought of him being with another woman would turn my stomach. Find out the reason she is no longer interested in sex Maybe then you wont need to find another woman to have sex with but work on the problems with your partner to increase her sex drive. There are medications on the market that can help.....certain foods help as well.....even a sex therapist. If she trully loves you, then she will be prepared to work on the problems with you. Finding another woman to have sex with is not the answer and will create more problems than its worth....but maybe thats what she wants.
2007-07-20 14:05:03 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can take it either way. But the thing is, putting a third person into your relationship this intimately is taking on a huge risk. You may both say there are no feelings involved but I guarantee, if it's a nice woman, and she's attracted to you, she will begin to have feelings for you. Also, you are REALLY setting yourself up with your gf. Any fight/argument you have, trust me, she will bring this up......I certainly know I would...(but I'd never tell you to go elsewhere, either)
2007-07-20 13:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is cheating. Cheating involves dishonesty. However, if you were to go through with it, I find it hard to believe that she would be able to handle it. And if she could then maybe it's her views on sex that causes her to not enjoy sex.
2007-07-20 13:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by Keith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I think she is desperately trying to find a way out of your relationship. Nobody wants their significant other to be intimate with someone else unless they can't think of any other reason to dump you and look like the good guy and you look like the bad guy. I'd say that her behavior is particularly odd and would tell her no thanks, you will just leave her instead. See how she likes that one.
2007-07-20 13:47:27 · answer #5 · answered by Sassie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, you have the GREEN light!!! BUT, don't be stupid about this. You and your GF need to talk this over MORE!!!
first of all, if you need sex, then you will need to do this or leave your gf.
second, if your gf loves you enough and vis-verse, be wise about this. you both need to talk this over and REALIZE that there WILL eventually be some feelings felt with this OTHER person.
3rd, you WILL eventually find feeling for this other female. You will doubly need to show your love to your gf. You CANNOT take this situation easy. it WILL NOT be an easy thing to deal with. Don't think it will be!!!
you both need to talk this over thoroughly.
take care and best to you both...
2007-07-20 15:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by james 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex without feeling, now theres a good time?
But what if your your other partner does't enjoy sex with you either wouldn't that be hard to take, maybe your just a lousy lay!
2007-07-20 13:24:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not married, any sex outside of marriage is wrong, it's called adultery and it says in the 10 commandments DO NOT commit adultery.
2007-07-20 14:09:53 · answer #8 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating? Something tells me there is no relationship to speak of with your girlfriend. Something is broke with her, you, or both of you.
2007-07-20 13:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she likes girls and wants to join. Rember the show friends. the guy wife did not like sex either. that is with men. she is now a lesbian. just a thought
2007-07-20 13:25:38 · answer #10 · answered by gulible 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋