I sat next to a guy on the plane and we had an instant connection about so many things. After a month of communicating via email - nothing romantic, he came to the State I am in for his job training for a week. He told me he was married with two kids about 2 hours after we met. I was shocked since he had never mentioned it before and he apologized and said it was coz he knew he would never see me again if he did and he really wanted to. He really
is a decent man. We saw each other as friends for a few days after that but I told him not to communicate with me ever again since it was obvious we were attracted to each other. He wrote
to me after about over a month later and said he had moved out of his house two weeks ago and filed for a divorce and would like to pursue something with me after all is done if
I wanted to or just as friends…I dont want to feel like i broke a home even though i know i didn't...What should I do?
2007-07-20 11:24:53 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay away from him. He essentially lied to you about being married to get you to talk to him, which shows how sneaky and deceitful he is. If he makes you feel guilty even though you're not around him, he's not good.
2007-07-20 11:29:07 · answer #1 · answered by Yogi 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he really was a decent guy he would have told up front that he was married. He was looking for something outside his marriage and that tells me that he is NOT a decent guy. If he would try to stray once he will do it again. If he really is getting a divorce and you decide to see him, beware. You may have some wonderful people out there that you will an instant attraction too that are not married and won't be going through all the drama that dealing with a fresh x and children will provide. There are other guys and you sound like a good person. You are not responsible for what he has done, he was looking and the relationship must have been in trouble long before you met him! It's not your fault and I wouldn't let it be my problem and if you continue to see him, I think it would be a problem! Good luck!
2007-07-20 11:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by Janet H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point I don't think I could trust him but you may be more generous than I am. You didn't ruin his marriage if he did in fact leave home and isn't just telling you that. That was a decision he opted to make and it might have been--again if he is telling the truth--spurred on by a desire to be with you but regardless he hasn't been very honest in the short time you have known him. A divorce could drag on indefinitely especially with custody issues there. Don't put your life on hold but if you are able to let go of his deceit whenever he's "free" then pursue whatever you like.
2007-07-20 11:42:04 · answer #3 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't talk to this man. He didn't tell you he had kids in the first place and that he was married. Now he's telling you he's seperated and in wait for a divorce. He wasn't honest about his situation from the beggining, and that's never OK. You can't trust that he'll ever be completely honest with you. Stay far away from him. You didn't do anything wrong, and you certainly didn't break up a home. It's obvious that it was falling apart when you came into the picture.
2007-07-20 11:34:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one because it's hard to tell if he's telling the truth or not. It's hard to carry on any relationship when you live a part. He's got a lot of things he needs to sort through and still he's got the responsibility of being a parent. It's totally up to you but if it were me I would steer clear. Too many complications. Knowing you are attracted to each other would make it very difficult to be just friends. Pray about it and you'll know what direction to take. Don't rush in to make a decision.
2007-07-20 11:33:35 · answer #5 · answered by Orion 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from him until his divorced have been finalized. In this way you will not only avoid feelings of guilt, but you will also find out of he is serious about you or if you were only a diversion from a failed marriage. There are hundreds of thousands of cases recorded where a guy promises to divorce and once the affair has kicked off, he then never divorces. Do not become one of those statistics.
2007-07-20 11:33:34 · answer #6 · answered by John 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. You are not responsible for the break up of his marriage. That is totally his issue. You might consider telling him to contact you six months after his divorce is final. This gives you time to move on if you wish and him time to recover somewhat. At that time you can evaluate if you want to pursue anything with him or not.
2007-07-20 11:38:56 · answer #7 · answered by Brent 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely stay away from him. You live in two different states. He's lied to you once about the fact that he was married because he wanted to see you and knew you wouldn't date a married man.
You have no way of knowing (without seeing the paperwork from the courts) that he is even getting divorced. It sounds like another lie to try to get you to see him.
2007-07-20 11:40:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you didn't break up their home. I am certain there were problems long before he met you. No man leaves their family for a girl they just met. They don't usually leave at all. Make sure he is not lying to you about it. Take it slow. Remember even if he left for real, you are a rebound girl. Sounds kind of soon for him to be getting involved with anyone at this point.
2007-07-20 11:45:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful men lie all the time, can he show you a copy of his petition for divorce ? Why would someone change his life over an aquaintance (you). would change your life for him ?
remember if he has kids, dealing with his kids, ex-wife
Do you really want and need all this hassles. Find yourself another single, young man and start over Just be careful yoyu will end up hurt in the end. Do not answer his emails either, it show your still interested
2007-07-20 11:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by Herman L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow and see what happens. Doesn't sound like you broke a home, it seems that things weren't going well with them to begin with. Sure, you're taking a risk by getting involved in a relationship with this guy who's freshly out of his marriage... so it's kind of up to you whether you want to go ahead with it, or steer clear. But in either case, you shouldn't be considering yourself a "home wrecker". Good luck.
2007-07-20 11:36:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋