2007-07-20 10:29:51 · 11 answers · asked by manoj d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Another good questions would be, "How to motivate the mother of a 31 year old son to quit paying his way"
The apron strings should have been cut a long time ago.
2007-07-20 10:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by Michael H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop giving him money. Do not allow him to drive your car. Make him pay rent or better yet make him move out. Give him 6 months or 3 months or some set deadline to have a job and get his own place. give him an eviction date and when it comes if he is still there, put him out. If he has shown you a lease and is just moving his stuff OK but other wise, you pack up his stuff, and I mean his stuff, and put it out. You change the locks and do not let him in. If, no when he calls, tell him that you told him this was coming and you were not playing his free ride is over and he is on his own. Trust me the more you prove you mean it the more he will do something to take care of himself. If he does not then he will learn a tough lesson out on the streets. He is no baby, he is no child so do not worry about what he will do that is none of your concern anymore. Pick a date and tell him that is it, he is out then job and place or no job and no place. You can ask for updates on his progress and drop reminders of how much time remains but when itis up you must follow through and put him out. If you fold and do not make him stand on his own, get ready for him to stay with you until you die, and you will not be able to complain. You are not helping him by enabling his retarded maturity and gross laziness. Tough love is called for here. He will never do for himself what he can get you to do for him. Put the bum out.
2007-07-20 10:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he still lives at home then give him a date to have a job and place to stay and that if he doesn't then he'll come home and find his stuff in the driveway - follow through with it if doesn't do it
Not living at home but expecting hands outs?? Give him one last one and make sure he knows it's the last one. When he comes begging for more be firm and DON"T bail him out. Let him know that moving back home is not an option!!
As long as you support him in any way you are enabling him to continue in this lifestyle. What happens when you are no longer there for him or are living on a fixed income??? Please look to the future and make sure you are taken care of because I don't think you'll be able to depend on your son.
2007-07-20 10:41:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could start by packing him up a lunch in the morning and putting a thermos in a bag with them. Then open up the front, side or rear door to your home and tell him to get his ankles moving as quickly as possible to go out on a job search. When he returns telling you that he has had no luck today, then wish him better luck tomorrow and repeat process. If he still refuses to go out and find a job then advice him that the free ride has come to an end and that effective the end of the month that he will be having to find alternative living arrangements as he will no longer be under your roof.
2007-07-20 10:36:53 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a instructor, that's between the particularly often requested questions. the two maximum possibly probability is that the two the artwork is in simple terms too puzzling, or, oddly sufficient, the artwork is in simple terms too consumer-friendly, and the scholar is bored with it. of path, there are different possibilities, and additionally you comprehend your infant maximum suitable. Is there any variety of afterschool application at your son's college? I coach at a tiny college, yet we nonetheless supply after college activities so we've fewer "latch-key" young toddlers. that's advisable to look into this. Ours has a homework era element that makes use of useful peer stress to get the artwork finished. each and every of the youngsters get a ruin maximum suitable after college to run around and play. Then they have a quiet homework era. each and every scholar ought to finished a undeniable volume (no longer inevitably all) of homework earlier the subsequent exciting hobby can initiate. everybody ought to attend, analyzing quietly, until eventually everybody is complete. no one must be the only that has at the back of schedule the exciting from commencing. whether there's a cost for this (we cost $2 in keeping with hour) it may be rather worth it to alleviate the rigidity occurring at abode. There are in simple terms some issues that a infant has administration over. One is college artwork. I rather have seen many scholars use homework as a hammer to conquer mothers and dads with, and the mothers and dads infrequently understand that the scholar may be employing this as the thank you to deal with the parent. evidently, toddlers choose a parent's undivided interest, and oftentimes times young toddlers have stumbled on that the fastest thank you to get that's thru homework. in common terms a concept...
2017-01-21 11:18:33 · answer #5 · answered by anson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick his butt out of the house and he'll have no choice but to work and have a regular income.
2007-07-20 16:48:58 · answer #6 · answered by Army mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put him out for 24 hours and have him go look for work the next day....and if he doesn't...talk to him about real life then put him out for 48 hours and don't let him at all...only for food and maybe just for bathroom use after that put him right back out to look for work this time give him a little bag of clothes...this should really get his mind on getting a job cut down on giving him money also...
2007-07-20 10:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by capricorn-saturn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You 'motivate' him by making him need to have a job in order to have a roof over his head.
2007-07-20 10:33:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough love. Quit giving him so much support and let him depend on himself. He will find his way. His " Flight or Fight will kick in".
2007-07-20 10:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by nightvisions 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Introduce him to the real world, where you don't have money unless you earn it. What world is he living in right now?
2007-07-20 10:37:11 · answer #10 · answered by marie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋