My girlfriend and I have been living together for a few years. She is not from the US and she required a work visa to stay & work in the US. The work visa is now expired & we need to marry to continue our relationship. I want to be able to commit myself 100 percent to her by getting married, but I struggle with why I didn't ask her before, etc. I try to determine if it is b/c of a fear of commitment on my part or b/c I am not completely satisfied in the relationship. I have a hard time assessing my true feelings. My fear of losing her and my fear of marriage are both pretty equal. Some parts of the relationship are not satisfying to me. But I am also a perfectionist & I am vulnerable to magnifying small things, so I don't exactly trust my judgement with this. The basics are there for us, I am still attracted to her, she treats me well & appreciates me, & I appreciate her. Part of me looked forward to being single again though.
2007-07-20 10:11:48 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would look at all that you have invested in the relationship. If you feel that you are getting a good return on that investment and that you would have a difficult time being able to find someone else that you would be able to have as good of a relationship with; then ask her to marry you. After she is gone, it will be too late.
2007-07-20 10:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by Randy C 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey, don't marry her! If you do, you will regret it every time you have a disagreement with her. If I were her, I would not marry you either even if I love you so much. I don't know how old you are, but you are definitely not ready for a commitment. But you know what? We all feel like this at the beginning of a big relationship, especially if you were never married before. I'm sure she will find a wonderful husband who will stand by her side no matter what; and you... you will find someone wonderful too when you're ready for it. Just be careful, you will never find someone like her. The other girl can be better or worse, but not like her.
2007-07-20 10:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what makes you not want to get married? Is it because you don't think you can have kid's. Have you been tested to see if you can have them. i think the guy must really love you. And if you can't have a baby physically there are other ways like adoption etc so a family is possible... Marriage isn't for everyone but I think you should look into why you don't want it. obviously its not because you're afraid of commitment because you've been with the same person for 8 years. maybe you've had a bad experience or know someone whose had.
2016-05-18 21:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, if you ain't 100% sure, don't do it. Even if she goes back to her own country and you decide differently later, she can come back... but DO NOT trap yourself into something you aren't sure of. Trust me on this one. Do not marry her unless you feel like you cannot live without her.
2007-07-20 10:17:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We here on 'Answers' can't tell you what to do. We don't know your true feelings. However, you don't sound like marriage material to me. I think every person has some misgivings before they marry.
2007-07-20 10:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If in doubt...don't do it...Be 100% sure before getting married to her.
2007-07-20 10:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do HER a favour and don't marry her. She deserves someone who is totally committed to her.
2007-07-20 10:16:41 · answer #7 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NEVER EVER EVER EVER get married if you have doubts. She can always come back can't she? Make your mind up FIRST and be sure!
2007-07-20 10:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by sugarbud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love her than marry her y r u making things so difficult!
2007-07-20 10:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by notyochic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
move out!
2007-07-20 10:43:10 · answer #10 · answered by sugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋