I have just found out that my boyfriend uses porn, while I can appreciate that most normal guys look at porn, it is a little upsetting to discover it whilst 7 months pregnant. Has anyone else had this happen to them and how did you cope?
2007-07-20 09:18:02 · 38 answers · asked by natflip 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
better that than a girl friend
2007-07-20 09:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by Clint 6 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Most "normal" guys DO NOT use porn, they don't all need to be w@nking 24/7.
So what, you're pregnant & he can't have sex, not that you've said you've both stopped making love. It's his baby as well. He's a selfish inconsiderate pig to be behaving like this. He's probably always done porn anyway - just that you've only just found out.
Look at all the answers the females have given here about their husbands or b/f's using porn. They don't admit to actually liking it, they just see it as a better alternative to them cheating. Something they've come to accept, not out of choice, but because they have no choice.
It IS a form of cheating & it's been proved in surveys that many more divorces are taking place because of the husbands addiction to porn, especially nowadays in the light of internet porn sites.
I have a very healthy sex life with my wife. I love my wife very much & wouldn't do porn as I know it would hurt me a lot if she were getting off to hunky men with giant sized you know whats. So why would I want to make her feel so bad too?
Just because half the women on here put up with it, doesn't mean you have to.
What we saying here? if porn didn't exist, a guy would go & shag anything that moves. Not all guys are controlled by animal urges. He could exercise a bit of control.
2007-07-20 11:50:34 · answer #2 · answered by pooped_over 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Aww honey i know how you feel, men unfortunetly are not the most tactile creatures and tend to be a little insensitive at times, i have been in your shoes but then my ex was obsessed with porn even when i was not pregnant and was myself a model, i found the best way to deal with it was by the old if you cant beat them join them, i dont mean watch porn with him or even flick through mags with him, no, go out and buy yourself some mags and vids full of hot men!!!, go for the whole 6 pac and bursting with muscles look, also finding them extremely well endowed will help you make your point aswel, you dont have to be particularly interested in it either, but do not let him know that, sometimes men need to be put in your shoes to know how you feel and understand that they have acted insensitively, he is not pregnant so he will not fully understand how hurtful this can be for you right now, but by you checking out men that are possibly fitter, better looking and most important more hung than he is, he will begin to understand!!!, let him catch you having a little alone time fun over the boys, if this is something you really could not face then the only other answer is to talk to him about this, let him know that right now you dont feel like this is your finest hour body wise, and find what he is doing a little hurtful, try putting him in your shoes, ask him how he would feel if tomorrow he went bald, grew a little pot belly and became impotent, ok he is not pregnant but that fact is these are things that will potentially happen to men at some time through no fault of their own, their body will change and they will never again look the same, pregnancy is kind of like this, for awhile you will look not your usual self, luckily woman do spring back!!!.
2007-07-20 10:43:15 · answer #3 · answered by I belong to me. 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I havent been pregnant and expeienced this, so perhaps my opinion will be a little biased- but to be honest if it was me, i would not mind at all. Im not a pervert or anything by any means but masturbation and getting to know yourself is all very natural to me- so i encourage my boyfriend to do it. I do it so why cant he after all?
You are pregnant so you will be more sensitive to alot of things, try not to get it down. It wont be long until you get back to your normal sex life and in many ways i suspect that you will be closer than you have ever been, as hopefully you will have a beautiful healthy baby on the way and that is something so precious that you could share between you both, as you know.
If you are not sexually active at the moment with your partner, obviousley he still has a sex drive so like i said its only natural. Talk to him about it and be honest with him. If you dont feel like intercourse or it is too uncomfortable, then perhaps you could get involved in oral sex with him. Sorry if that sounded crude but that is what i would suggest if you want to please him, and im very honest! :)
It is also much better that your partner is looking at porn, rather than looking elsewhere or cheating on you- so really you have nothing to worry about!
Good luck with your pregnancy
x
2007-07-20 11:53:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have a right to be upset...even if you weren't 7 months pregnant. Porn creates fantasies that can never be realized in real life. That's totally unhealthy and you better believe will affect his satisfaction with you.
2007-07-21 12:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by rachkw81 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why does it bother you that your boyfriend uses porn? Loads of guys do this, the fact that you are pregnant is not really relevant. It is perfectly normal for guys to look at porn, men are very visual when it comes to sex, and so sexy pictures/movies turn them on.
Maybe you aren't having sex much just now but he still needs it, and this is way of getting it. Its not like he is having an affair or anything, you are just going to have to learn to live with it. It doesn't mean he fancies you any less than before. Do you really mind if he is masturbating? Does it make any difference whether he looks at a magazine while he does it?
I'm not trying to be nasty, so I hope it doesn't sound that way, just ask yourself these questions and think about it a bit, once you get over the initial shock you will probably find you don't really mind? (PS - married women look at porn too!!)
2007-07-20 09:25:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
You are asking the wrong crowd of people. Most people on here believe that pornography is completely harmless. If it bothers you, however you have a god-given right to speak up! Your partner should NEVER partake in anything that makes you upset or uncomfortable. What is right for other couples isn't necessarily right for you. And do NOT buy into the lie that ALL men look at pornography. People say that because that is their own reality. But there are plenty of happily married men who have no interest for it. If it doesn't feel normal to you - it probably isn't.
2007-07-20 09:39:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
you have to remember that porn is not cheating. Its upsetting because you are pregnant and you feel like its an attack on you and your figure and the fact that you aren't up to sex right now. He does not love you any less, and its good that he is finding an outlet for is sexual fustrations that isn't with another woman. He is excited about you and the baby and he is destressing with a little porn. Just because your body is changing so greatly doesn't mean that his body is too. He isn't experiencing the joy of a being growing inside of him. He is jus waiting and waiting for everything to happen and his sexual urges ( that got you pregnant in the first place) are still there. Be greatful that he isn't pressuring you to do something you don't want to do and let go of the unrealistic expectation that he is going to completely supress the urge to be sexual.
If you want in just give him a BJ and let him be satisfied with that... also don't forget that there isn't a man on this planet that could have as much sex as they want and still not look at porn, pregnant woman or not.
2007-07-20 09:25:49 · answer #8 · answered by The thinker 4 · 1⤊ 5⤋
I have I know he watched porn before I was pregnant we did it together but ever since we found out I was pregnant he seemed to watched more and more secretly iv even cought him jerking off to it me and him has been really rocky because of this and he has told me that I'm fat and even ew but his excuse is he's frustrated becouse of work but I fill horrible about my self since then but idk what to do!!
2013-11-18 08:19:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA YES! im 8 months pregnant and ive caught him out a few times downloading the naughty films, i cant blame him though im hardly feeling and acting sexy at the moment so i let him get it out his system, im happier he's watching porn than sleeping with the neighbour!
2007-07-20 09:38:10 · answer #10 · answered by berryred 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
DUH!
What is he supposed to do while you are pregnant? YOUR hormones changed... not his.
If he isn't sleeping around, count him as a good guy. He's just trying to take care of an annoying, nagging need to have sex. We have had three kids and the doctor told us there is NO danger in having sex, so I hope you aren't denying him and ALSO telling him he can't look at porn. That would be mean and selfish.
If it bothers you that much, give him as many bj's and hand-jobs as he can handle... I would bet any money that he wouldn't even care if porn existed.
If you aren't taking care of his sex drive, I doubt any nagging, threats or pleading will even matter to him.
Men have sex with women in their mind or a woman in real life... it's just that simple... which do you want him to do? Don't tell me it's that important that he not look at porn while you are doing nothing... if it WAS that important... you would do something/anything to keep his interest on you sexually... that's like saying 'don't be hungry'... the only way to not be hungry is to eat. He just can't turn his drive off because you are pregnant.
2007-07-20 09:42:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 7⤋