How do you tell a friend that you have grown apart from them?

Question

Ok, well I have known this person for about 16 yrs. we had some classes together in middle & high school.We would hang out every once in awhile after we, no I mean I gradauted. We only go out like maybe once every year or something like that. She is a nice person, but we don't have anything in common, she doesn't really value education the same that I do. Our lives have taken two completley differernt paths, & I have changed a lot since school. Not saying that she hasn't had her own growths, but like I said I am not the same person, & she just hasn't seen it yet I guess? So how can I tell her nicely? I tried just not giving her my new # but when I did that she calls my parents house. I don't want her bothering my parents, so I gave in & gave her my number. My problem is that she selfproclaims herself as my best friend & has for years. But she didn't invite me to her wedding, & now that I am getting married she is mad that I didn't tell her we got engaged until almost a month after.

Rory, thank you for your commment, however, I feel like she is dragging me down,keeping me in a mind set I no longer hold, and haven't held in a long time. I am almost a completely different person. She bores me. I am not trying to sound like I am better than her, we just don't have anything in common. We don't even hold the same values. I am just trying not to hurt her feelings and get a lot of people involved. I just want a free break, but I can't seem to get one, since she hunts me down!

Did I mention that anytime in the past when I have tried to drift apart from her she hunts me down? She will come to my job, or to my mom's work, or just drop by my parents house, ( I recently moved back there to finish school). If I don't call her she wants an explaination or she will try to guilt trip me. It's like she thinks once I am done with school I will have all this time for her, when really after I get married we are moving out of state. Maybe then she will leave me alone!!!?

Answer 1

I can relate to this one a little bit. I had a close friend in elementary school who I would spend just about everyday with. Then I moved away and hadn't spoke with her for years. She recently contacted me through the internet and we caught up on old times. But she had become someone I was not, very much opposite of what I am. She has asked me to come visit with her but I am uncomfortable doing that. I told her if I ever have some time I will, but deep down I know I have no intention of going. I feel bad knowing that I will never visit with her, but I also know that it would be very awkward, possibly for both of us. I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I continue to avoid it. The truth is people change, friends come and go. You have memories of people and sometimes it is best to just leave it that way. I think you shouldn't completely avoid this person, just let life take its course.. eventually she will move on with her life, and you with yours. And if you are moving away and getting married then I wouldn't worry about it too much. The friendship will fade away soon enough. Maybe let your parents know that you would rather her not have your new address or phone number as well. They should respect that.

Answer 2

I had to do this with my cousin who was my childhood friend.
I became more serious about religion, and vegetarianism and everything. She is an alchoholic and eats meat and has kids out of wedlock.
I used to get letters from her when I moved away and I would reply with spiritual letters. I couldn't even read her letters because they were so packed with bad language and horor stories of being drunk, molested or liking a married man, etc etc.
I stopped reading the letters even though I still replied them.
Then one day I wrote her a letter that said, I think we have less in common than ever before. I repeatedly try to stay on higher religious topics, and it doesn't seem we can relate!

I haven't recieved letters from her for like 9 years or so. But I am fine with it.
However, I don't know if it is the greatest thing. She may have recieved some benefit from my letters. Maybe I could have been the good influence.
Once another friend of mine came over and she wanted to chat about her problems.
There was a battle going on in my mind, trying to decide if I should go and sing songs about God or just sit and chat with her when it was miserable.
Well the phone rang and she got it.
I ran to sing songs about God.
and SHE? She came and sang with me! It was a good choice of action.
Maybe you can be more bold in doing what YOU like to do. Then maybe she will think that she has lost interest in you and then SHE will have to break it with you.

Be yourself!

Answer 3

tell her you are too busy everytime they try to hang out or talk to you. I have had friends i have grown apart from and it just happens, one day you have so much in common and the next you realize ur very different. its life. try to distance urself from her as much as possible, eventually she will stop trying and get the hint.

Answer 4

baby girl, you don't. you just simply fade away. don't return her calls. tell your parents that they don't know where you are. if you happened to talk to her, make up some excuse to make the conversation short. she can claim what ever she wants about you. but it's not the fact, so it shouldn't bother you. sad, but that's how you fade away from a friendship.

Answer 5

u dont