OK this is a little different. I have movie buddies at work. However, neither like a certain genre, so I asked this other man at work who is a little older than me if he'd take that slot for my movie bud and he said prehaps. Later on I asked him and he asked if it would be just us and I said probably since I can't find anyone else who likes those movies. He said since I'm married and he's single that he's a little uncomfy, but would love to, but is afraid of people to start talking since my husband is deployed and this man and I work together. And he's afraid of getting himself into a bad situation with me. Um, it's just a movie partner! He's in the military. I'm not. My husband is fine with it. I just don't understand why he said maybe, but then later on totally did a mind change. What the heck is going on in his head?
2007-07-20 07:07:23 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm absolutely respectful of the decision to not go alone with each other. I do get that. I just have never dealt with this kind of situation before and wanted a bit more insight.
2007-07-20 08:22:26 · update #1
Because 9.99999 times out of 10 this type of situation will lead to an affair. Emotional and or sexual. And it doesn't take Dr. Phil to figure it out.
2007-07-20 07:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by That's my final answer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he may very well think that you are interested in him; that you are seeking male companionship while your husband is away and; then there is the whole working with each other thing.
as an older man he cares about what people think and does not want to jepordize his livelihood for the sake of going to the movies with you because you do not want to go see this genre alone.
sure it is just a movie but; as a single man spending time with an "available" married woman may be too tempting to him.
dont knock him for using his own good judgement.
he may also feel personal one-on-one relationships with coworkers should be treaded upon carefully. regardless of the office norm.
just because you and your husband are ok with the notion does not mean that all others are.
you should probably ask someone who is less hesitant or find another person that could join the both of you.
2007-07-20 14:31:50 · answer #2 · answered by miss lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, in your head, he's just a movie buddy. Anyone who doesn't know the two of you well, would assume you're a couple. Then there's the look of impropriety, there's been so many who have said..."It just happened..." That I would be uncomfortable with it too. You guys work together, people talk, that might influence his next promotion, I wouldn't risk it either.
Your husband is fine with it, right? So on the offchance he has a female buddy for whatever reason, in a place far away, you're cool with that too? There are some hot looking women in the service so...anyway, I'm with the dude, I wouldn't step out with a married person of the opposite sex either.
2007-07-20 14:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might have feelings for you that go deeper than " movie buds " ... he feels uncomfortable because he's treating another mans wife out for the night ... yes your husband might be fine with it - but relationships start this way and your co-worker knows it ( plus being a man himself - he probably thinks - what would I do if my wife was back home taking single men out to the movies ) ... maybe he just doesn't want drama or to get hurt in the long run ... I'd move on & find a different movie buddy ... good luck ... !
2007-07-20 14:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I have to respect this man for being so open and honest with you. It shows that he has good character and morals. Regardless of how innocent it might be you know what people are like and before you know it will have the two of you being something more than just movie buds. In addition perhaps he fears that he may actually try and hit on you or something might happen that would put you both in a compromising position. Although you say that both you and your mate are comfortable with this please try and put yourself in his shoes and imagine how you'd feel.
2007-07-20 14:19:25 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He said maybe, thought about it and made a decision. On the other hand I dont see a problem with it. I am married and my best friend is a married female, and we go out all the time with our spouses knowing about it. It has been going on for over 10 years, and nothing sexual has ever happen, we just enjoy each others company and talk
2007-07-20 14:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by skcs11 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he said maybe, because he wasn't sure of the circumstances, that's why he asked. You don't know his situation, maybe he had a married female friend before, and he was accused of things. People are gossips and if some one did see you together, rumors might start, and it could interfere with his job. If it's a movie you want to see go by yourself, maybe you'll meet someone there that you can go to future movies with.
I wouldn't be offended, just look at it from his perspective, he might have just saved you a lot of grief
2007-07-20 14:14:52 · answer #7 · answered by ofsoundmind 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He most likely wanted to go but is concerend about what others might think. He may also have some feelings for you and is uncomfortable about spending time alone with you. In any case, if he is worried about what other people think, I would not go out with him. I hope you can find another movie partner.
2007-07-20 14:17:18 · answer #8 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting situation. Sounds like he's been through a simular
situtation before. Maybe he is just trying to make sure that it stays movies-buddy and nothing more.
2007-07-20 14:33:18 · answer #9 · answered by THE Cupid HATER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess he realized it was just a movie. I'd say follow through, see the movie. But if he makes moves tell him sorry that he got the wrong impression. Who knows, maybe he will make a great movie bud!! Good Luck!
2007-07-20 14:11:23 · answer #10 · answered by serendipity_siren 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because a movie is more often than not, a date. I would feel uncomfortable if some guy I work with invited me to a movie. Seems like this guy doesn't know you that well so he feel awkward. Take a girlfriend.
2007-07-20 14:15:10 · answer #11 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋