She's run off and taken my kids. I don't know where she's gone. I filed for divorce today. It''s costing me alot of money. My kids are worth it. They are going to know their Daddy loves them. They are certainly not told that by their mother. I'm tired of her brainwashing.
Am I going to have enough strength to get through this. I long for real love and affection. People have told me it gets better. Anybody been through this before?
2007-07-20 06:49:49 · 15 answers · asked by prouddaddy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, prouddaddy... I simply do not have words to express my sorrow for your situation. Consider these words, please:
ON THE WORLD'S WISDOM VS. GOD'S WISDOM:
1 Corinthians 1:20 "Where [is] the wise? where [is] the scribe? where [is] the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?"
1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; "
1 Corinthians 3:19 "For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness."
(Note from me: Please do not listen to the ungodly advice here in Yahoo! Answers. You, as a Christian, know that the world is foolish, that God's ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts higher than ours. Most people will advise you to go through with this divorce. But that comes from foolish, worldly lips. That is not God's design.)
ON DIVORCE:
Malachi 2:16 "For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence," says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."
Mark 10:11 "And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her."
Luke 16:18 "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from [her] husband committeth adultery."
1 Corinthians 7:11 "But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife."
Ephesians 4:31 "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:" (Note from me: This one isn't exactly about divorce, but it does deal quite intimately with the feelings that are associated with those who seek divorce. Do you not feel bitterness, wrath, and anger against your wife? Do you not feel the urge to speak badly against her? This verse says to "put away" these things, which is the same phrase meaning "divorce." Divorce these feelings and attitudes, but do not divorce your wife.)
ON COMFORT:
Psalm 23:4 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."
Psalm 119:50 "This [is] my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me. "
Psalm 119:76 "Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant."
2 Corinthians 1:4 "Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. "
(Note from me: Let God comfort you, not the flawed Family Courts. You can trust in this. As a Christian, you know you can.)
Brother, lean on God, not on the foolishness you find in these Answers on Yahoo! Seek your children, and seek the heart of your wife. You have lost her heart. But a woman's heart is woo-able, even one as deceived as your wife's.
May God bless your efforts to reconcile, and confound your attempts to divorce. May He grant you comfort, peace, and wisdom in this bitterly painful time. And may He be a Loving Father to your precious children, who are at this time without their earthly loving father.
2007-07-20 17:10:48 · answer #1 · answered by MomWtrmn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, yes it is a horrible thing and she isn't playing fair but you were both unhappy in your marriage and you did have a great plan to get a house in your dad's name, fix it up with the kids,etc. You need to focus now. You main priority is the kids. Study up. Go on the internet and find out what other fathers have done, what they have said in court, what questions to ask lawyers, and how to protect your children and yourself, also look up how to deal with the kids, what have others said about divorce,etc. Focus on getting them back and also on what you will do when you get them. Write them a letter............you don't ever have to send it but, it will feel good to write down all of your feelings.
Write everything down...the journal is essential. What was said the last day, how the locks were changed, the call to in laws, etc. Don't leave anything out...and always be in control. Don't ever show anger because she will definitely use that against you. Keep emphasizing how important it is to be a part of your childrens' lives and ho you want to be there for them all the time. Carry a picture of the kids and find strength every single time that you look at it. They are the reason that you will go on and that you will become a constant in their life.
Last, pray. So many people forget to include God...it is essential. Pray for your wife to be more understanding, for the in laws, for your children and for the strength to be the best christian father that you can be.God didn't promise we would understand everything that happens in life, but, he did promise he would get us through it. Are your assets safe....your bank account, your credit cards, etc. One way to find out where she is would be to check credit history and checks.....
2007-07-20 10:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Prouddaddy I hope that you believe me when I tell you that you will survive and get through this rough time in your life. There have been millions of other males (and females for that matter) that have dealt with the same thing that you are currently experiencing. I remember when my ex and I split up years ago I thought that my world had come to an end, boy was I wrong. Then one day I returned my son from a visit and her boyfriend at the time was drunk and beat me up to the point were I was hospitalized and I didn't see my son for about 6 months. They (without my consent) even changed my son's last name to boyfriends. Well Karma has a way of evening things out. About a year later this same male was arrested for a rather dangerous offense and the first person my ex called was me. I belonged (still do) to AA and she asked if I would escort this man to a meeting, thinking it might help him out in court if he was sober prior to sentencing. I did this and now this fella and I can talk nice to one and other. As for my ex her and I are both remarried married now to different people and are actually quite good friends to this day. As far as this son that we had together, he took back his old mans name and now has 2 children of his own, Papa's girls. So regardless how awful things are at present I hope that you also trust that even though things might not happen as fast as you'd like that they will improve and you will get through this time in your life. Best of luck.
2007-07-20 07:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. I am in the process of getting a divorce. Although my daughter was not here, it affected her in a bad way. Unfortunately even though while we were together they were thick as theives, he has decided not to persue a relationship and it has hurt her deeply. In the beginning I was very sad and depressed, but each day, it gets better and better and I know that you will find someone who is worthy of your love. Your kids are lucky to have a dad that cares! Good Luck to you!
2007-07-20 07:09:22 · answer #4 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang tough brother.
We all know the courts will favor her, even if she's a scumbag and you're a great father. But you'll just have to make the most of the time you get with the kids and fight for your rights as a parent.
Go talk to every decent divorce lawyer in town for a "consultation", so she'll be left with the dregs to represent her. If she's going to fight dirty, play strategically.
2007-07-20 06:53:59 · answer #5 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time.
Divorce is never easy and I've seen my brother battle his ex-wife for his two girls and it was ugly. As much as the mother says bad things about you, of course there will be bitterment on the part of the children to you and they'll be confused and rebel against you but then, the time will come where the whole truth will unravel.
Keep a journal and write your feelings as if you're talking to them. I wish you best of luck. :)
2007-07-20 07:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by xxon_23 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. The legal process of divorce and custody can be very long & drawn out, not to mention expensive. You will have to draw strength from your love for your children; you may find you're stronger than you thought. Good luck.
2007-07-20 06:55:42 · answer #7 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my ex and I separated, I became a single mother of three young children, who worked full time and was taking classes to finish my degree. It was hard, it sometimes seemed impossible.
But it was worth it ! Living in a relationship where you are unhappy is not good for you or the kids.
Be stronge - you can and will survive it.
2007-07-20 07:08:13 · answer #8 · answered by Scrapper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Yes I have been there and yes you can go through with it. Just remember not to talk her down to your kids. They will see for themselves how she is (unfair or cruel ) but if you talk her down they will have hard feelings against you. She is gonna have an excuse for all of her actions and she is gonna make you out to be some kind of beast. Hang tough and remember, it has to be all about the kids now. Give them stability, attention and (believe it or not) discipline. Children do want discipline.
2007-07-20 07:01:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have not been through this but I feel sorry for the kids I wish it had worked out
2007-07-20 06:56:46 · answer #10 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOOD LUCK ALL U CAN DO IS MAKE SURE YOU KIDS KNOW U LOVE THEM AND WANT THEM YOU CANT CHANGE HER MY SON IS GOING THREW THIS TOO WE GAVE HIM THE MONEY TO GET CUSTODY OF HIS SON SHE GETS HIM 1/2 THE TIME BUT HE HAS LAST SAY SHE LEFT AND HER FAMILY ARE NO GOOD PPL THEY ALL DO DRUGS AND HER BROTHER HAS HURT LIL KIDS B/F SO HE FIX IT WERE HIS SON COULNDT GO THERE WITH OUT HIS MOM AND CANT STAY THE NIGHT GOOD LUCK KIDS NEED THEIR DADS EVEN IF THERE MOM S DONT REALIZE HOW SELFISH THEY ARE FOR TAKING THEIR WHOLE FAMILY AWAY HOW DO U DO THIS TO YOUR KIDS AND SAY U LVE THEM ITS JUST SELFISH
2007-07-20 14:22:09 · answer #11 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋